Joker quotes from The New Batman Adventures

Joker

Hi-ho, couch potatoes! I'm interrupting the Toilet Bowl to give you my very special New Year's resolution. [clears throat] Starting tonight at midnight, I, your loving Uncle Joker, do solemnly vow not to kill anyone for a whole year... which means I'm going to have to work extra fast to bump off a few more of you today! [laughs]

Joker

Nice entrance. Either you've never heard of a door, or you like picking glass out of your tights.

Joker

If you stick your nose in, it might get cut off.

Joker

(seeing Batgirl) Something new has been added: a big improvement over the Boy Blunder.

Joker

Hey! Do I hit your kids? Oh, come to think of it, I do...

Joker

(dazed) Houston, we have a problem. (falls unconscious backwards)

Joker

Let's show the folks at home what really happened 7 years ago. I'll be Batman, you be me.

Joker

[cornered by Batman and Robin.] How about that, Bats? You broke my face and got seven years of bad luck! Are you going to try for fourteen, or are you going to raise that anchorman out of the ocean?

Joker

I can't believe it: the buzz on the street is that someone's stealing my routine! Isn't there any honor among thieves?

Joker

He's a lunatic!

Joker

Boring...lame...not funny...it's been done...too Riddler!

Joker

WHAT?!? ... [casually] Harley? Oh, where the heck have you been, hmm? Mm-hmm? Yeah, yeah... Batman, eh? You don't say... [suddenly sits bolt upright] YOU HAVE WHO TIED UP WHERE?!?

Joker

You know what they say: "a bat in the hand is worth two in the belfry." I guess you're going out on a laugh after all!

Joker

[to Luthor] I sense we are kindred spirits, you and I. Although there are differences, to be sure... like hair.

Joker

More powerful than a locomotive...and just about as subtle.

Joker

[to an incapacitated Superman] Feel free to expire at any time!