Mr. Sheffield quotes from The Nanny

I think you'd really like her, Sarah.

I do, Max. Why do you think I sent her to you?

You sent her to me. And you heard her speak?

I thought she had a cold.

What do you mean: "The wedding is over"?

Fran

Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.

What's that got to do with us?

Fran

Their marriage didn't work because they're from two different worlds just like us. I mean you're the sophisticated classy Jocelyn, and I'm Lester, the poor schlub who worked for you.

Oh, come on darling, you never really worked.

Do you think I'm uptight?

Niles

Nope!

I won't fire you.

Niles

Yup!

Sweetheart Sara's parents are going to be here any minute.

Fran

All right what are you so nervous about, I thought you said they were thrilled when you told them we got married.

Well darling I lied

Fran

What do you mean you didn't tell them. Are you ashamed of me? am i embarrassing to you? Why aren't you answering?

Sweetheart your very special, your...your an acquired taste like feta cheese.

Fran

Your comparing me to smelly Greek Cheese?

Sweetheart these are Sara's parents this is a very sensitive situation for them, I mean in their minds you are in fact replacing their daughter so I want to break It to them gently.

Fran

Who compares a wife to cheese?

Oh forget the cheese your not a cheese your a beautiful, vibrant, sexy, charming woman. Now their gonna be here any minute and i want you to make a good impression so please get out of that robe.

Fran

all right (opens robe, but realizes she's naked and Max and Sara's parents see it). what do you think they'll think of this?

(seeing his wife Fran naked) I don't know why don't you ask them (he points towards the door)

Fran

How could they be contesting the adoption? On what grounds?

They think you're an unfit mother.

Fran

Unfit?! I'm in the best shape of my life. I know what this is all about. They don't like my people.

No, sweetheart, they're not anti-Semitic. They're best friends with the Rothchilds.

Fran

I meant my mother.

Darling, Darling i know all about your past. before I hired you I had you thoroughly investigated

Fran

What?

Yea I'm not about to trust some stranger with my children am I?

Fran

(In a sexy voice) oh I checked you out

You have absolutely nothing to confess. I know everything about you.

Fran

Everything? Even my age?

Actually, that was the one thing even the FBI couldn't verify. The closest they could get was 31.

Fran

31?.... [Happily] Well, I guess the truth is out.

What the hell do you think you were doing?!

Fran

Well, I think it's pretty—

I know what they were doing! I wanna know why they were doing it!

Fran

Well, I think—

I know why they were doing it!

Fran

It's going to pretty difficult for me to tell her she can't do something that well I recently discovered that is is (in a sexy voice) just so amazing.

I don't care, (he then realizes the nice comment about his love making) Thank You (to Fran with a smile on his face)

Darling what's all this in the middle of the afternoon. Wine, Candles, a sexy negligee. you were expecting me weren't you

Fran

Well funny you should use the word expecting

Niles

Do you want to have a baby or not?

Well, after thinking about it... Yes, of course I want to have a baby with Fran because I love her.

Niles

Well, I'd better overhear you telling her this soon, mister, because I'm not getting any younger!

Sylvia

What's happening? When are they going to let us see her?

Oh Listen, mom, I'm sure Fran and the Baby are doing just fine

Sylvia

That's the first time you've called me mom

Well you've been more of a mother to me then my own mother ever was

Sylvia

Well you've certainly seen more of me

oh Sweetheart i'm so sorry about what i said

Fran

Oh Sweetie you can't blame yourself that the way you feel. you don't want to have a baby now i can understand that

Well that was before i knew we were having one, Hey i didn't know i wanted another wife until i met you.

Fran

You know this has always been a fantasy of mine.

What to um make love in the snow?

Fran

No to make love to my ski instructor.

Grace

Daddy you know what I think your problem is. You feel guilty about leaving Fran on Hanukkah.

Oh I do not

Grace

So do

Do not

So do

Do not, Gracie look Fran said she understood this is business and sometimes business has to come first

C. C.

I have to call the agency. None of these models they submitted are right for our poster.

Niles

You know, sir, if you need an attractive photogenic man, on camera I can pass for—

Hume Cronyn?

Niles, thank you for your offer but this poster really needs to sell our new show. Someone virile with huge masculinity...

Niles

[Points to C.C.] Well, there's your man.