Niles quotes from The Nanny

Niles

Bucking for a raise?

Niles

I'm sorry, sir. I just— I just got so excited. I mean, she said and then— then you said and— and when she said "I quit!" well, I—I just wanted to roll over, light up, and watch Letterman.

Niles

How do you do, Tiss Maylor? I'm Biles, the nutler.

Niles

(to CC) No sour grapes, you could have foreign men worship you too. Go to India. You'd be sacred.

Niles

Ms. Fine and Ms. Babcock walking arm-in arm. Isn't that one of the Biblical signs of the Apocalypse?

Niles

Good things come to those who wait, sir. Unless they wait too long and then they slip through their namby-pamby fingers.

Niles

[To C.C.] Look at your shiny new coat. Have you been adding cod liver oil to your diet?

Niles

Ms. Fine, you're telling me that you've taken a job on a soap and you're not coming home?... Well, of course, I'm shocked! They gave you a speaking part?!

Niles

[To C.C] At the risk of sounding like the doctor who delivered you, this could get ugly.

Niles

When [Fran and Sylvia] talk at the same time, the intercom shorts out.

Maxwell Sheffield

I overreacted. Didn't I?

Niles

Like Reagan in Grenada.

Fran

Niles, are you okay?

Niles

I'm afraid I'm feeling a bit queer.

Fran

Don't ask, don't tell. But for God's sake, come out of the closet.

Niles

Ill, Ms. Fine. I'm beginning to feel a bit ill.

Fran

Oh, you British. You look like us, you act like us, but bottomline: you're foreigners.

Niles, did you remember my attache?

Niles

Yes, sir.

And my carry-on?

Niles

Always, sir.

Well, seems we have everything.

C. C.

[Enters] Maxwell?

Niles

Oops, I guess I did forget one old bag.

C. C.

Synthetic fur. How P.C. of you.

Fran

P.C.?

As in politically correct.

Fran

Oh, well, it's actually J.C. as in Penney. Your outfit's nice too.

Of course dear, it's an Adolfo.

Niles

As in Hitler?

It is just a P.T.A. Meeting.

Fran

Meanwhile, some of those Ps and Ts could be lonely hes.

Niles

You've certainly got the A for it.