Maggie quotes from The Nanny

Maggie

Who does C.C. think she is, butting into my social life?

Fran

What social life?

Maggie

I just went to the movies with Denise.

Fran

Honey, she's the cleaning lady.

Maggie

Say, some of the kids are going to the Hamptons for the weekend.

Fran

Oh, great! Will there be boys there?

Maggie

Um... Maybe a few.

Fran

Fun! Parents? Ah! Who cares? They'll just get in the way anyway. Go! Have a blast! We don't even have to tell your father.

Maggie

Really?

Fran

Sure! And when I'm fired and you're in the convent, we'll write each other letters and laugh about this.

Maggie

Wow, Fran, you look so hot in that dress!

Fran

Uh-oh, I'm supposed to look like Ms. Babcock. I tried to dress conservatively. Niles, can you picture Ms. Babcock in this dress?

Niles

Not if I ever want to function as a man again.

Fran

Maggie, who does Ms. Babcock hate more, me or Niles?

Maggie

Whoa! God, this is hard. She hates both your guts.

Fran

Yeah, but I make her nauseous.

Niles

I make her drink.

Brighton

This will be a great party. A bunch of 60-year-old ladies pinching my cheeks.

Maggie

Learn to love it. That's as close to a woman as you'll ever get.

Maggie

Pamela Chapman's so gorgeous, even her mother hates her.

Fran

Sweetie, you've gotta have more self-confidence. All of those over-developed girls just peak in high school.

Val

Yeah, remember that girl from our school who was so beautiful and so popular that everyone thought she would own the world. Then her fiancé dumped her, she got fired from her job and she wound up working as a na— [stops]

Niles

But Val meant, Danny her ex-fiance (the three children gasp)

Maggie

You lie?

Niles

As if

Maggie

Dad, Fran's picture is in Gloss magazine!

Well, what's so bad about that? She'll be thrilled. What, eyes closed, bad angle?

Maggie

[shows the magazine] She's a fashion "don't".

What's that to do with me?

Maggie

Read the caption.

"Who let her out of the house with that purse?" [gives a yell of horror]

Oh, I just remembered the charity: asthma.

Niles, get this piece of trash out of here!

Niles

[To C.C.] You heard the man. Move it!

Margaret, if you were Ms. Fine, what car would you like to drive?

Maggie

Uh... my husband's.

Maggie

How much do you know about the Titanic?

Yetta

Top of the line! They had a midnight buffet on deck. And the ice sculpture—HUGE!

Maggie

Guys come up with the lamest excuses.

Fran

[Sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Like when you told me you had that whisker burn all over your face from kissing my mother? Hello?!!

Maggie

Fran, that really happened.

Niles

I just spent four hours putting together a gazebo for Ms. Babcock's terrace.

Maggie

Ms. Babcock doesn't have a terrace.

Niles

Now we both know.

Maggie

How lucky is your grandmother getting married at her age. Do you know the odds of a woman over 35 finding a husband?

Sylvia

1 in 1245.6

Fran

Uh-huh. How much do you weigh, Ma?

Sylvia

Who can remember numbers?

Maggie

Fran, I'm 20 years old. Doesn't Dad know that... you know... I'm active?

Fran

You doing the bing bing? I love that you feel so comfortable that you want to be totally honest with me so let me be totally honest with you... Get upstairs!! What are you, crazy?! You're never leaving my house again!!

Maggie

I am so nervous about my new boyfriend coming over for dinner tonight.

Niles

Why? Because you have to prepare the chateaubriand, polish the silver and comb the fringe around the area rugs?

Maggie

No, you do that.

Niles

Then chill out, girlie.