Fran Fine quotes from The Nanny

Miss Fine? Do you have your attorney present?

Fran

Oh... my attorney present. Oh-oh... you know what, I'm not going to get him anything. Let's see how he does first.

(to the bailiff) Is this a competency hearing?

Fran

(about Fran's uncle and lawyer) He's strictly pro bono.

Val

Really? Well I'm glad he's not representing me because I'm pro Cher.

Fran

My God, Val, Mr. Sheffield proposed to me just to get even with his mother!

Val

Wow! ...Good thing she showed up, huh?

Fran

I can't marry someone under false pretenses!

Val

You can't? Gee, you think you know a person.

Fran

That's what i was gonna wear on our honeymoon night.

Maxwell

There's nothing in here but lip gloss.

Fran

Suffer

Fran

(looking at picture of her ex-boyfriend, Danny's newborn baby) Oh, I'm so jealous!

Niles

(grabs picture from Fran) Miss Fine, I can't see why this picture makes you yearn for a child. I could see a Lhasa Apso...

Sylvia

Fran, you're probably wondering why I'm acting so strange.

Fran

Ma, you've been here for two seconds. You yelled, you ate. The only thing strange is that you haven't showed me a wedding announcement from a girl I went to high school with.

Sylvia

It's in my purse.

Sylvia

You know I don't like to be filmed when I'm eating.

Fran

Which is why there's more footage of Bigfoot than of her.

Fran

Oh, Niles, it's so hard planning a vacation when you're single.

Niles

Yes, it's so much nicer when you have a family so you can lug their ski equipment around Vale, sit around the fire listening to "Niles, get me a brandy!" "Niles, get me a comforter!" "Niles, go out in that blizzard for a PIZZA!"

Niles!

Niles

WHAT... is that on your shoe, sir? Let me get that for you.

Every time I ask you to do something, you always manage to screw it all up.

Fran

And yet you continue to ask me. You need help, mister.

Why do I ever listen to you?

Fran

Well, my voice is kinda hard to tune out.

Fran

Hi, you must be Mr. Tattori.

Please. My friends call me Tony. [Kisses her hand]

Fran

[Pulls it back] What does your wife call ya?

I'm divorced.

Fran

[Extends it again] I'm Fran.

Fran

So... tell me about yourself. What do you like to do besides dress like a million bucks and drive around in a limo? Which is all I ever really aspire to.

It is not important what I do. It is important who I am.

Fran

Who are you?

It is not important who I am. It is important who I am with.

Fran

[chuckles] I love her. You know, I've seen her in person. She looks much younger.

Grace

Fran, the storm is getting worse. How is Santa going to deliver all the presents?

Fran

Gracie, the man is bigger than Dom DeLuise and can fit through a chimney. Believe me, he can get through a blizzard.

Niles

She's only happy when she's making everyone around her miserable.

Fran

Sounds like my mother.

Niles

Be careful. She's 2000 pounds with arms like a wrestler.

Fran

Oy, she is my mother.

Have I let my judgement be impaired by my feelings for Ms. Fine?

Niles

What feelings are those, sir?

Well, you know—

Niles

No, I don't, sir.

Oh, c'mon, Niles—

Niles

But you'd feel so much better if you just said it.

Perhaps you're right! Maybe I should just admit that—

Fran

[Enters] Knock-knock!

Niles

Oh, WAIT!!

Fran

Ma, I can't believe Gracie doesn't want to be seen with me.

Sylvia

Honey, it's a normal thing for a kid to go through. Remember when you suddenly didn't want me to pick you up from school?

Fran

Yeah, but I don't wear a girdle on the outside of my pants.