Fran Fine quotes from The Nanny

My God, she has got something, hasn't she?

Fran

Yeah. Guts.

Fran

Aw, thanks, Peppy.

No, it's Pe-PAY, okay?

Fran

Let me guess. Arnold, right?

No, Bernie.

Fran

I'm gonna be canned for sure.

Niles

Ms. Fine, you spend so much time up this creek, I should think by now you'd have bought a paddle.

Fran

No way my little cousin Tiffany is still in pampers

Good news, I'm potty trained which is more than I can say for him [points to her grandpa]

Fran

I just saw Mr Sheffield naked, it was horrible!

Niles

I keep telling him to get to the gym.

Brighton

Remember, Fran, afterwards, you can have all the ice-cream you want.

Fran

Swell. If I live, I'll be hippy.

Sylvia

It's the worst blizzard in 30 years.

Fran

Oh God! Did Kathie Lee come into the studio?

Sylvia

No.

Fran

It's bad.

C. C.

For all we know, he could be a member of a gang.

Fran

What gang? The 'Oys In The Hood?

Fran

Brighton, don't be greedy. God will punish you.

C. C.

[Enters] Good evening, everyone.

Fran

See?

Ms. Fine, don't you have something you want to say to Mr. Bradley and his son?

Fran

Yeah, but then I'd have something else to apologize for.

Val

That sales clerk was SO rude!

Fran

I know! You ask to try on 20 pairs of shoes and right away they get an attitude.

Grace

How about severe depression brought on by feelings of inadequacy and fear of death?

Fran

Gracie, where do you come up with these things?

Grace

Usually during hopscotch.

Fran

It's like my mother always says—

Niles

"You can freeze anything"?

Fran

No.

"Why buy Sweet'N Low when restaurants are giving it away"?

Fran

No.

"Seven cans of tuna fish count as one in the express line"?

Fran

No. My mother always said: "Blood is thicker than water. And you can wash them both off of plastic slip covers".

Fran

Mr. Sheffield, can I talk to you for just one minute?

I doubt it.

So would you like me to be there when you tell the children?

Fran

Oh Do we have to tell the children?

I think they'll notice you're missing.

Fran

Can't you just tell them I'm taking a bath?

Ms. Fine, you'll be gone forever.

Fran

Tell them I'm putting on my makeup.