Fran Fine quotes from The Nanny

Fran

Niles, how am I ever going to tell Maxwell that my parents are staying here?

Niles

Quickly and without the negligee.

Fran

Maybe I shouldn't tell him at all. How long will it be before he notices?

Niles

Not long. He'll see her here for breakfast. He'll see her here for lunch. He'll see her here for dinner.

Fran

So I figure I've got at least 6 months?

Kaitlyn how many times do i have to tell you i'm a married man

Fran

I'll tell Kaitlyn then I'll kill her

Oh Fran Darling what are you doing here?

Sylvia

This is so exciting! Grace is applying to the Eastside School for the Gifted. [To Grace] You know, you won't be the first member of the Fine family to attend. Your Aunt Celia spent three years there.

Fran

Ma, she worked in the lunch room. And she got fired for giving free lunches to a lady who tried to pass herself off as an 8th-grader.

Sylvia

Meanwhile, with my little pigtails and my little plaid skirt, I was adorable.

Val

Fran, there has got to be a way to get that money back.

Fran

How, Val? He already converted the million bucks into francs.

Val

[Disappointed] Well, once you convert it into hot dogs, it's very hard to trace.

Hearing mommy's voice can be very soothing to the baby.

Fran

Oh, did you hear that?

That's enough! We don't want him to hang himself with the umbilical cord.

Fran

Who's coming that you don't want me to meet?

Oh Darling. For Heaven's sake we're married now i don't need to continue to... (he Laughs), Lynn Redgrave

Fran

You know, Miss Babcock, for your information, I just found out: I'm not stupid. I'm sexy.

C. C.

Nanny Fine, don't sell yourself short. You're both.

Fran

Well, I am smart enough to know I have just been insulted, and sexy enough not to care.

Niles

What is the one thing that separates me from all the successful people in this world?

Fran

Success?

Fran

Are you telling me that all those years that you put dishwater in her coffee and changed her lip balm for glue stick and called her a cow, you were flirting?!!

Niles

What, no good?

Fran

Niles, why don't you just tell her how you feel?

Niles

Oh, God, no! Not until I have a successful career, a substantial income, a home.

Fran

Oh, God...

Niles

What?

Fran

She's never gonna know!

Fran

Sweetie, I'm sorry. It's just that they're upset over Niles. They can sense these things.

They're rubber and their butts are stamped "Made in Taiwan". What can they sense?

Fran

That their daddy doesn't love them.

ME, You're the one who almost melted Frankie on the toaster oven.

Fran

well I was trying to make you a pita pocket, I need Niles.

Darling i know he's your best friend i know how you feel about him.

Fran

I know it must be hard for you to see Ms. Babbcock go seeing as you both were romantically involved.

Maxwell Sheffield

we were not.

Fran

Just Checking

Maxwell Sheffield

darling i don't know maybe this is the best thing for both of them, I mean you and I we made a huge change in our life, maybe they deserve to do the same.

Fran

oh i know you're right I'm being selfish there a so many things a man like Niles can do out there. Can you think of any?

C.C will be alright she can find a position in any organization that needs a, an um. we have to stop them.

I just don't understand! What happened? Five hours ago, they were at each others throat.

Fran

Apparently, they decided to move downward.

Darling, I've been thinking. There's no way this contract between Yetta and Webber could possibly be valid. I mean, let's face it, Yetta isn't exactly in her right mind.

Fran

Sweetie, just because she thinks we're Robbie and Laura Petrie and she's our neighbor, Millie? She's just occasionally confused.

Occasionally?

Mrs. Sheffield, seems that you had some usually strong Braxton Hicks contractions—it's very common for women over thirty-five under stress—have you been stressed about anything recently?

Fran

You mean besides the fact that you think I'm over thirty-five?

C. C.

Nanny Fine, I can understand why you can't trust me with Maxwell. After all, there were years of unrequited love and unfulfilled fantasies and shameless come-ons... but eventually he came to see he didn't have a chance with me.

Fran

So I'm guessing there's only food left in the mini-bar.