Fran Fine quotes from The Nanny

Ah, good afternoon, Ms. Fine.

Fran

Good afternoon, Mr. Sheffield. You know, the kids are at school, Niles is shopping. We could... do it.

[Tentatively] All right. Hi... Fran.

Fran

[Playfully] Hi, Max.

Sylvia

[Picking up the telephone] Yes?

Fran

[Excitedly] I'm getting married!

Sylvia

Sorry, Miss. You got the wrong number.

Niles

How does it feel to wake up an engaged woman?

Fran

You know how they say when you finally attain your dream, It's always a letdown?

Niles

Mm-hmm.

Fran

They were WRONG!

Fran

You know, sweetie, last night you didn't give me that little something that I'm used to getting from you every week.

Well, Fran, since we got engaged, I didn't think I had to give It to you anymore.

Fran

Wait a minute. I know what I'm talking about. What are you talking about?

Your paycheck.

Fran

Thank God. That's what I'm talking about too.

Sylvia

You're his partner in life. You're the woman behind the man. Help him, support him, be there for him, never refuse him. You get me?

Fran

Yeah, I get you. You're talking about dinner, right?

Sylvia

What else is there?... Do you know where your father would be today if I hadn't pushed him?

Fran

Not collecting disability?

Sylvia

It's not natural. I never heard of such a thing. What man doesn't want to procrastinate with the woman he loves?

Fran

Procreate, ma.

Sylvia

Fran, I am telling you right now. If I don't get grandchildren out of him, I'll never step foot in this house again.

Fran

Well, congratulations, Ma. You just invented the first foolproof male contraceptive.

You know you're awfully cute when you compromise.

Fran

You're awfully cute when you tell me I'm awfully cute.

What proof do we have this woman and I are related?

Fran

Let's get to know her a little bit. Hi, honey, are you married?

I was living with a man for 5 years but I couldn't make a commitment.

Fran

There's your DNA test!

Sylvia

What is the one thing I taught you?

Fran

"Death begins in the colon"?

Niles

I have not waited around five years for some little shiksa to come in and ruin my wedding.

Fran

Oh, thank you, Niles. You know, you could be Ma if it weren't for the whiskers. Although.

Sylvia

If you leave, I'm gonna throw myself in the Hudson River.

Fran

Ma, flooding New Jersey is not gonna solve anything.

I can't believe it in just 24 hours from now I'll be holding Mrs. Sheffield in my arms. are you as happy I am?

Niles

This is the happiest day of my life. Congratulations, sir.

Maxwell Sheffield

Thank you, Niles.

Fran

Hey, what about me I'm the woman who's making you the happiest man in the world.

Niles

Ms. Fine, Congratulations.

Wait what's the suitcase for? Wait a minute I know, if we elope now, the sooner we get to our wedding night.

Fran

Excuse me, you made me wait 5 years, and now all of a sudden because you're in the mood, you think that I'm gonna come to you just like that (snaps fingers)? Come to mama!

So what you're so excited you're packed for our honeymoon already

Fran

Oh sweetie I'm a Jewish woman going on a two-month cruise do you really think this is all the clothes I'm going to need?

Yes

Fran

Oh, Oh Honey. oh I wish I could stay but I gotta go to ma's

What?!

Fran

Yea you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride 24 hours before the Ceremony

But sweetheart we have the house all to ourselves

Fran

oh i know but no no sweetie oh. (Her watch beeps) Gotta go.

What?

Fran

Yep that was a warning we only have 2 minutes left.

I can do it in 2 minutes

Fran

you can?

well darling it has been 5 years

What do you mean: "The wedding is over"?

Fran

Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.

What's that got to do with us?

Fran

Their marriage didn't work because they're from two different worlds just like us. I mean you're the sophisticated classy Jocelyn, and I'm Lester, the poor schlub who worked for you.

Oh, come on darling, you never really worked.

Brighton

Your voice carries.

Fran

All the way to your bedroom?

Brighton

To Michigan.

Fran

You just don't know how to work your father like I do.

Brighton

No, I don't look as good in a halter top as you do.