Fran Fine quotes from The Nanny

Fran

[Counselling Niles] All this anger and bitterness is just a mask for low self-esteem. Where does all this come from?

Brighton

Hey, Niles, could you wash my underwear?

Darling, I've known the butler 30 years. We've had many gay times together, shared a fag or two between us and I can tell you, if there was anything queer about him, I'd know it.

Fran

So in other words, you had some fun, you smoked a few cigarettes and there's nothing strange about him.

Of course.

Fran

Just making sure.

Fran

A woman just called and told me that Ma may not be my real mother.

So are we happy or sad?

Fran

We're thinking.

Now Miss. Fine you did understand this party was for cast and crew only, I mean you really weren't expecting to be invited were you?

Fine

No (She rips off her robe revealing a dress)

If Barbra Streisand and your mother were both drowning, who would you save?

Fran

I'd save my mother. Barbra can walk on water.

Does everyone eat like this on the Jewish holidays, Ms. Fine?

Fran

Why do you think we wandered the desert for 40 years? We were walking off the meal.

You are exactly what I've been looking for. You are the voice of the people.

Fran

And not just the people. Dogs hear me too.

Ms. Fine, before Tom and his son get here, we have a little saying in the theatre: "Mess with the investor, move back in with your mother."

Fran

I have a saying: "Mess with the nanny... please."

Niles

I think Mr. Sheffield would really like you to come with him when he takes the children to Hawaii.

Fran

It's always the same thing: Dancing in the moonlight, walking on the beaches then falling into bed wrapped in each other's arms.

Niles

Since when?

Fran

Since Gracie doesn't like to sleep alone.

Niles

You don't know what it is to be the only one of your friends who's not married.

Fran

Hello?!

Niles

And over 40.

Fran

Not a clue.

Ms. Fine, I'm not sure how much longer I can control my feelings for you.

Fran

Er... Wait three to four seconds and let 'er rip.

Niles

I've been killing myself all week trying to drop a pound. How does Mr. Sheffield keep in shape?

Fran

Running from commitment.

Miss Fine I can't, I'm sorry I just can't

Fran

Mr. Sheffield Is there something you haven't told me something that might have happened in the Falklands

No of course no, I'm talking about this what we're about to do it just all seems wrong.

Fran

You know now I don't know If I am coming or going I mean you keep giving me mixed messages you act like you want me

Of course I want you your a very sexy beautiful woman.

Fran

You know now would be a good time to end this argument

Miss. Fine don't you see what we are about to do here was a very serious step to take, oh your not just a one night stand.

Fran

Me, oh no of course not, Look Mr. Sheffield you know I always thought we were going to end up together but If It ain't going to happen now It ain't going to happen

Look I didn't say It will never happen.

Fran

well I think my chances are only going to decrease as I slowly morph into Yetta, Four years it's enough already I can't take It anymore I'm outta here

Ms. Fine, I have to talk to you about our relationship and the way it seems to have escalated.

Fran

Wait a minute, you said "our", "relationship" and "escalated" in the same sentence. Should I book a hall?

Brighton

Is it true back then people used to listen to their music on some sort of primitive large black vinyl disc?

Fran

Only when we weren't enjoying our favorite pastime, child hurling.