You know what my dream is, Gonzo? That my friends know they can tell me anything and I'll never judge 'em.
Wow, Kermit. That is a very boring dream.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
DGDave Grohl
So, you guys remember how we did it in rehearsal?
Oh, we'd like to do it different from rehearsal.
DGDave Grohl
Okay; well, then, why did we even rehearse?
Oh, 'cause if we don't rehearse, then there's nothin' to do it different from.
DGDave Grohl
[smiles] Y'know, I actually dig that.
DGDave Grohl
[sitting behind a drum kit] I've been waitin' years for this, Animal.
[sitting behind a drum kit] Now we see who best!
Christmas in my belly!
Any chance we could push the Christmas show to Spring?
Mistletoe: a seasonally-appropriate way to finally jump-start my relationship with Janice.
There's something sexy about being able to see a lady's back hair, you know.
BMBig Mean Carl
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, 'cause I told him to shut up!
Can: open. Worms: everywhere.
I was upset, so I had a little brie. And a little havarti. And…some cheddar; maybe a bit of camembert— Anyway…
[in a Capital One commercial that aired during this episode]
CBCharles Barkley
Sometimes you bring home the bacon, sometimes the bacon brings you home.
Too true.
Watch it, Chuckie!
[about Camilla the Chicken] I think she said something about staying home tonight to watch Chicken Run again.
Who can tell? It's just a series of "bawk"s.
[Kermit, Miss Piggy, Robin, Scooter, Fozzie, and Sweetums are playing Laser Tag]
[to Kermit and Piggy] I'm so glad you guys are back together!
RRobin
What do you mean "back together"?
[Kermit and Miss Piggy zap Scooter with their laser guns]
Hey, I'm on your team!
Oh, sorry.
Must've slipped.
Yeah.
Hey, look, a news crew's here!
What?
Yeah, they must've seen my tweets about you guys being back together. I got a ton of new followers! It's gonna drive so much traffic to my Pinterest page about miniature horses! [notices that Kermit and Miss Piggy have run away] Guys? Hey, where'd they go?
RRobin
Gee, I don't know.
NOOOOOOOO! You've made me the first person in the world to lie on Twitter!
DDoctor
You're not doing your show tonight. I have to operate on that leg, and you can't wear makeup during surgery.
Surgery?
No show?
No MAKEUP? Could we get a second opinion?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Muppets pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.