Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

You know, these shoes are actually quite comfortable. They're growing on me.

Lisbon

Not on me.

Jane

No?

I think you know this guy, right?

Teresa, I didn't take you for a gambler.

Lisbon

It's not gambling if you know you're gonna win.

Jane

You're gonna regret this someday.

Lisbon

What?

Jane

Well this, this paperwork. Every night you file it and forget it. You know what it's like? It's like cooking a beautiful meal and putting it straight into refrigerator, forever.

Lisbon

You could help.

Jane

No, I couldn't.

Lisbon

So, what's your report gonna say?

It will say that agent Risgby acted appropriately and with sound judgment when he used lethal force against Moss. Good work. You got away with it.

Jane

Me?

Well I can't make a case, but you chose a remote location for the meeting, you set up a situation in where Moss had to flee. And there, by chance, was Risgby.

Jane

Well, I'm flattered. You flatter me, but I can't take credit for that.

Lisbon

Moss didn't have to run, I would have brought him in.

The plan did require Moss to put his own head in the noose. Small gamble Jane had to make to keep everyone's hands clean.

Lisbon

Moss fired his gun!

So you all say. And, of course, Moss can't tell his version. And now Rigsby has taken perfectly legal revenge against the man who killed his father. You think it will effect him?

Jane

Well I think it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.

Perhaps. I suppose Rigsby will never know. Agent Lisbon, my report will reflect that you made a mistake in calling agent Rigsby on the scene. An error in judgment.

Lisbon

Yes sir, it was.

Jane

Yeah, Lisbon didn't call Rigsby. I did.

Lisbon

Jane!

Of course you did. Agent Lisbon, your instincts to protect your team are admirable, and your biggest flaw.

Jane

Yes, but we all have our flaws. Don't we, agent LaRoche?

Lisbon

What the hell are you doing Hannigan?!

Boss...

Lisbon

I told you to take him downstairs, not beat him up!

Sorry, okay? Sorry, I lost it.

Jane

No, no, it's fine, it's fine. My fault, my fault entirely. I provoked you.

Lisbon

God Hannigan, get him some ice!

Jane

I'm okay, I'm okay. Seriously, it's not his fault. I deserved it, okay?

Lisbon

He is supposed to act like a professional law officer all the times. Let's get you some ice, come on.

Jane

Teresa Lisbon. It's a... it's a nice name.

No, don't answer that!

Jane

Why not?

Just don't, give it to me.

Jane

Tell me.

I can't.

Jane

Well, if you don't I'm gonna answer it.

Don't! He told me not to involve the police.

Lisbon

Who did?

The kidnapper. He took Marcus and Pella and he told me he'd kill them if I involved the police.

Jane

Then answer that.

Hello?

Jane

(pretending to be the kidnapper) You alone?

Yes.

Jane

Tell me... What are you wearing? Hahaha! Hi, how you doing? It's me, yeah! Hahaha!

Jane

I think you guys can handle it from here.

Lisbon

Hey. You never told me what happened with the driver.

Jane

Yeah must have... slipped my mind. Excuse me.

Lisbon

He knows something, doesn't he? Jane let me help you.

Lisbon

You don't criticize his performance? Just mine?

Jane

He was good. You? Eeh.

Jane

Lisbon. So it's murder, is it?

Lisbon

It is. Let's go to the news station the victim worked at.

Jane

Ehhm, I'm kinda busy. Maybe later.

Lisbon

That's not how it works. We have to do our jobs.

Jane

Well I think you can do it, you're very capable.

Lisbon

I'm not kidding. Come on, let's go.

Jane

Okay, I'll go to the news station with you, get you started and then you're on your own, alright?

Lisbon

I am not in the sixth grade, that doesn't work on me!

Jane

I can't promise I'll always be around to help you, Teresa. There will come a time when you might have to do this on your own. And I want you to be prepared.

Lisbon

I am prepared to punch you in the face, all on my own.

Jane

There she was, worrying about journalism, while you were throwing yourself at Hunt and Kasmir, and she's the one that ends up with the anchor chair.

Yeah. I mean, no. I me— what?

Jane

Hell hath no fury like a slut outflanked. You must have felt like killing her.

Yeah. W— Wait, no!

Jane

Really?

No!

Jane

Ow!

How dare you?!

Jane

Well, she's a definite maybe. That should give you enough to work with, though, don't you think?

Lisbon

I hope that hurt.

Jane

Show Volker this sketch and watch his face.

Lisbon

I know what to do.

Jane

I know you do. You go girl!

Lisbon

Volker is not going to get away with this. I'm gonna get him. If not for the murder, then for whatever Amanda Shaw can give me. Tax evasion, fraud, unpaid parking tickets. I'm gonna bring in Amanda and lean on her.

Jane

Look at you! So tough! I'm getting goosebumps. Rawr.

She left a suicide note, you know? Via e-mail.

Lisbon

You will not get away with this. I promise.

You have no idea what's happening at all, do you? Enjoy your job while you still have it, Teresa.

Agent Lis-bon.

Lisbon

It's Lisbon.

Lisbon. Pardon me. Bob Kirkland, Homeland Security. We don't know each other, but we need to talk.

Lisbon

How can I help you Mister Kirkland?

Call me Bob.

Lisbon

Okay. What is it?

Volker. You need to stop worrying about him, okay?

Lisbon

"Stop worrying about him", what is that supposed to mean?

I'm telling you off the records, but it's being taken care of. Trust me. You should take a step back.

Lisbon

So you can take credit for the arrest? Not a chance.

No. No, it's not like that. But Volker is... a very powerful man. Agent. He contributed to a lot of campaigns.

Lisbon

Is that supposed to scare me?

No. You just need to watch your step. Can I buy you a cup of coffee sometime?

Lisbon

...Sure.

Lisbon

Jane! He's okay.

Jane

Have you got her?

Lisbon

Not yet.

Jane

She's... She's on foot.

Agent Kirkland, Homeland Security. I need rescue south of Orr lake, forest road 42 north 12.

Jane

Who is that guy?

Lisbon

Don't talk. Help is on the way.

Jane

Hurts.

Lisbon

Shh, it's okay.

I don't like your tone.

Lisbon

Dana, your daughter is the mistress of a psychopathic killer, yet you have no information to give us about how or why she got that way. Frankly, I don't care if you like my tone.