Jody Irwin quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Jody Irwin

Come on, we both know that's not true. I guess I'm okay with that. It's just not fair... (Juniper's bracelet starts to glow, she sees dark clouds forming near the school, she gets more nervous as Jody talks) ...that Melissa gets everything, and there's nothing anybody can do about it.

Jody Irwin

I mean, come on! Who's smart and funny and talented and popular enough to boot Melissa in that fanny of hers? And-- (gasps as she gets an idea and looks at Juniper) You!

Jody Irwin

We should run you for president!

Jody Irwin

June, this is the moment we've been waiting for our whole lives! This is our shot to take down Melissa O'Malley, and I am not moving until you say yes! (the clouds start to thunder)

Jody Irwin

Yes! Oh, my gosh, I better get moving. We've got tons of work to do. See you later, Madam President!

Jody Irwin

I want the new posters up by 10:00, flyers stuffed in all the lockers by 11:00, and the latest hallway poll results on my desk by noon.

Jody Irwin

You're going down, O'Malley! Ya hear me? Down! You wanna know why? June's cooler, prettier and smarter. And she's gonna whip your butt until you don't have a butt left. And then one day, you're gonna turn around and say, "Hey! I don't have a butt, where did it go?! Oh, that's right-- June whipped it."

Jody Irwin

That's right, drive away! Just enjoy that butt of yours, 'cause pretty soon, you're gonna be buttless!

Jody Irwin

I certainly did. (to Juniper) Okay, you've got a couple of personal appearances scheduled today, a Q+A at the vending machine at D Hall and we have to get you ready for the big debate after school.

Jody Irwin

(grabs Juniper) All of this stuff need to be memorized. The material highlighted in orange is for general reference, yellow for specific issues, and pink is just for fun.

Jody Irwin

She's getting killed up there, go to plan B! Everyone, plan B! (Ophelia signals her to switch to plan B)

Jody Irwin

Okay, this is it. This is what we've been working for. I want you to go out there and give that speech like your life depends on it! Be confident, but not cocky. (Juniper's phone rings) Bold, but not undoubtable. Don't spit when you yell, and make eye contact with lots of boys. You're cute, use it!

Jody Irwin

This is it!

Jody Irwin

Don't worry, I'll do everything. You'll just be the figurehead (takes out a big book) I've got our entire school year protection ready to go.

Jody Irwin

Run! Go! Don't look back! Save yourselves! (Rachel pushes her away and opens the door)