Monroe quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Monroe

Not exactly, darling. That's not a comet, that's an Edumian Prison Orb. They're used to contain creatures who can't be banished. (to the Monotuke) Let me guess. You're using those Arachnid Locator Stones to pull the comet out of orbit and spring some of your buddies.

Monroe

No, but I can summon another Edumian Prison Orb and lock these jokers back up again... (points to the Monotuke) ...and square britches here.

Monroe

(comes in looking stylish) So tell me, how's my new look? Am I totally styling or what?

Monroe

Your Grandmother was forced to stay an extra 30 years when the mantle of Te Xuan Ze skipped your father. She had to remain in Orchid Bay 3 extra decades for Juniper, she spent her whole life here. If anyone ever had the right to complain it's her.

Monroe

Long long ago, before recorded history, magical creatures and humans lived together in our world. But as time went on, the two sides more and more at odds with each other. Eventually, the planet was thrown into war. So the magical elders, who guarded the realms, put a stop to it by sacrificing their physical forms. They became spirits and empowered three mystical touchstones. These stones give rise to the magical veil. It is a spell that makes all the world of magic invisible to humans. It was then that the world of magic and the world of humanity became separated forever. One human was given great power to hold it all in balance, and the only one with the power to destroy the orbs is the Te Xuan Ze.

Monroe

(flipping through the pages of a magic book) I can't tell if he's a transmogrification spell or an unleashed Tarabok demon. It makes quite a difference, you know. (continues flipping through the pages)

Monroe

Not exactly the textbook method of dispensing with beasties.

Monroe

You know, I'll pass.

Monroe

Ooh! Sorry, lass, my bad. (checking over a book with Ray Ray) I could've sworn it was next week. The magic calendar changes every year, and keeping track of the holidays is a nightmare.

Monroe

It's the one-week a year where magic takes a holiday. Everyone in the community gets time off, including the Te Xuan Ze.

Monroe

They're running for president, what does it look like they're doing!? (Roger and Ray Ray are playing in the mud and fill their pants with more)

Monroe

Don't point that at me.

Monroe

Thank goodness. It's about time someone did that.

Monroe

Well, it's about time.

Monroe

(whispers to Ray Ray) Say something.