TV show quotes
[Mandy and Grim walk into Billy's living room, the whole place practically destroyed]
Billy, what happened here?
I don't know, Grim... I fell asleep, and I had this crazy dream that I was NAKED at school and the Tchupakabra attacked me!
Billy! Oh, my goodness! What's that?!
What's what?
Over there!
I don't see...
On your back!
On my hat?
Curse you boy! On your back!
[a chupacabra has latched onto Billy's head]
I think it's trying to suck his brains out, man!
Poor thing's gonna starve.
[glances at Rudolpho] So, what are you... in for?
I beat the snot out of a guy... for FARTING!!
[Grim looks down and spots the duck ready to blow a raspberry]
[desperately] Guard!
Just the sound of it makes me so ANGRY!!
[more desperately] Guard!
ANGRY!!
[as desperate as possible] Guard!
[finally arrives] All right, Reaper, your bail is here.
I came here as soon as I got the call, yo!
[relieved sigh] I knew I could count on you, Irwin.
[hands a piggy bank to the guard] Here you are, Officer!
Gee, thanks.
[throws the piggy bank across the room, breaking it]
How much was in that piggy bank?
Four dollars and thirty-two cents.
So, you like to be a jokester, do ya, Mr. Funny Guy? Mr. Comedian, eh?
I don't understand.
Well, the bail is thirty-five hundred dollars!
[sobbing] I was only trying to be helpful!
Now get out of my jail, Irwin. OUT!
[stops sobbing] I'm sorry, Grim! "[walks out]"
Yeah, yeah, I'm not Grim! You'd better run, Irwin!
[calmly]
I'd like to think I'd make a difference.
That was wiggety-whack, yo.
[finds the duck]
Hey, a duck!
At the rate this duck is getting people in the trouble, I predict this cell will be full in about...four hours.
Two hours later... [fart sound]
Man, he's working fast!
I'm not even on this stupid show anymore!
Oh, I get it! We're playing a game where we make stuff up, right? Okay... I see a big green elephant! He plays the drums and listens to FREEDOM ROCK!
[Mandy's head has been swapped with fly's head]
Mandy looks kinda funny.
I'm not a fly, Billy's Dad. It's me, Mandy. I need you to get Grim.
I get it! You're one of those talking flies that try to look like people!
[Mandy sees a poster with Billy]
Look, it's Billy, and he's racing with wieners.
You mean Irwin and Pud'n?
No, wiener DOGS.
Of course your wasting your time sharpening that piece of crud!
[angry] Why you little... [Scythe shatters and the lights go out]
[in the dark] Where'd all the pieces go? [A light is turned on and it shines thru the holes in Billy's face] Wow! Look at the lights!
[Holding a flashlight] Power tools in the dark? Darwin should be paying you goons a royalty.
[a possible reference to the Darwin Awards]
I was never meant to be used as a hedge trimmer, a drain cleaner or a depilatory aid! I was meant to carve a swath of despair and destruction through the world of men, to blacken the skies and redden the seas, leaving nothing behind but entropy and uncomfortable silence...
Yeah, yeah, be quiet. One of these guys is gonna win a million bucks for milking a goat with his mouth!
Wait a second. What kind of breakfast cereal comes with a phoenix inside?
Well, it says here it's made in Arizona.
You'll have to use your feminine wiles to get him to talk.
[groans] I hate Billy.
[furious] Thud! THUD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
[nervous] Having some cereal.
And what have I said about having some cereal in the boardroom!?
Uhhh?
[spraying Thud with spray bottle] Bad Thud!
[Thud backs away in terror while Grim and Mandy look on, weirded out]
No, no!
[Thud, in a panic, drops the cereal bowl and Mandy picks up a piece while Eris threatens him with the spray bottle]
[begging] No, please, no!
Hey, Eris!
[whips head around] What!?
You got a piece of food stuck between your teeth.
[looks down at her teeth] No, I don't...
[Mandy flings an AppleScrap into the gap in Eris's front top row of teeth.]
You do now.
Eris [startled] What in the... [the firebird comes of Billy's head and latches onto Eris']
[trying to be nice] Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I [frustrated grunt] know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?
If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.
[He blows tiny gum bubbles]
[speaking rapidly] But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and UNABRIDGED'!
We're here to see Mrs. Fingerwiggle.
Pollywinkle.
Hairyankle!
Pollywinkle!
Terrytingle?
Pollywinkle.
Molly Ringwald!
Pollywinkle! Oh, forget it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
