[handing Priscilla a crystal goblet after Priscilla announces she and Ramón are eloping] Listen, we were going to give you your wedding gift tomorrow, but since we won't see you, why don't you take it home with you tonight?
Well, let me give you a little friendly advice - you're wasting your time, because that $1,000 prize is going to be mine. When I was younger I was known as the Dancing Fool.
[to her dance partner] You know, this reminds me of the big dance back in St. Olaf to kick off Pretzel Week. My Uncle Gunther, after the Great Beernut Shortage of '29---
I'll give you one of my sons. I have given this a lot of thought, Dorothy. I have had four sons, I have never had a Mercedes. What do you say? Which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy-- no, don't take Skippy. He's got asthma.
Alright, I won't go on with this charade any longer... there is something else -- I'm black. If that's a problem for you, I'm white. Of course that will cost you extra.
[after the girls discover what purports to be a charm placed under Dorothy's bed to help her sleep] I was just trying to be helpful. I figured with those terrible bags, you needed the rest.
