Now look, all this nonsense has to stop, Rose. What we saw was not a UFO.
Well, it wasn't a plane. Planes aren't that thin, or that bright.
Neither is Oprah Winfrey, but that doesn't make her a flying saucer.
S4 E3The One That Got Away
There's only one thing for me to do. I'm going to call him up, and tomorrow night I'm going out with that man again, and I don't care what amount of seducin' it takes. But, as God is my witness, I am not returning to this house until he has begged, beseeched, and pleaded with me to go to bed with him. [leaves the kitchen]
You know, that was the original ending to Gone with the Wind.
S4 E4Yokel Hero
[Sophia is standing in front of an open refrigerator with her robe open, Dorothy, Blanche and Rose walk in]
Ma, what are you doing?
I'm giving the leftover meatloaf a thrill, what do you think? It's hot as hell in here!
Close it before the food spoils.
OK. [closes robe]
I meant the refrigerator!
Morning, Rose.
[cries and goes into kitchen]
Dorothy, sometimes you can be so cruel!
Look Rose, God doesn't make mistakes, we were all put on this planet for a purpose. Blanche, you're here to work in a museum so that art can be appreciated by humanity. Dorothy, you're here as a substitute teacher to educate our youth. And Rose, you're here because the rhythm method was very popular in the 20's.
[preparing her bio] I just found out I'm the most boring person alive.
Did something happen to Regis Philbin?
[After meeting the triplets from St. Olaf that have come to interview Rose]
Which of you brothers has custody of the brain?
I will never forgive that airline as long as I live!
I cannot believe they lost all our luggage! Now I have to go an entire weekend without underwear!
Yeah. You usually slip into a pair by Sunday afternoon.
God, I hate fog!
Why? You spent most of your life in one!
I meant, if it were clearer we could see Mount Losenbaden.
What's Mount Losenbaden?
It's kinda like Mount Rushmore, except they sculpted four losers of Presidential elections in the mountainside. Let's see - there was Alf Landon, Wendell Willkie, and Adlai Stevenson and Adlai Stevenson.
Why are there two Adlai Stevensons?
Oh, Blanche, isn't it obvious? He lost twice... [panicking] Oh God, it's making SENSE!
[on the "shuttle" to St. Olaf]
[calling to Sophia at the front of the donkey-drawn wagon] How're you doing up there, Ma?
Fine!
Sophia, why don't you want to sit back here with us, honey?
Because after three days on the road with you guys, this jackass smells better!
DDriver
Thank you!
It's great bringing two idiots closer together.
I think that's the motto of the St. Olaf telephone company.
[after Dr. Harry Weston has delivered the girls' accumulated mail]
He fairly screams "Blanche"! Or at least he will before I'm through with him!
TTriplets
Congratulations, Rose Nylund. You are St. Olaf's woman of the year!
Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia: Uff da!!
[to Fred, the repairman] Oh thank God you're here, this heat's driving me crazy!
FFred
You're not the only one. The old lady next door is running through a sprinkler in her underwear!
There's no old lady living... [looks through the kitchen window] MA!!! [runs outside]
S4 E5Bang the Drum, Stanley
You see, babe, it's all part of the big guy's master plan. I am but a humble servant.
Mr. Belvedere is a humble servant, Stanley, you're a horse's ass.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.