FFidel
Blanche was right! She said you were incorrigible.
I guess I deserved it. I always say she's a cheap slut!
S4 E1Yes, We Have No Havanas
FFidel
My family once owned the largest tobacco plantation in all of Cuba. Do you know that at one time, I was the most famous Fidel in the entire country... until you-know-who showed up.
Who?
Rex the Wonder Horse, Rose.
Who would've thought Blanche would date someone that long in the tooth?
I thought his teeth were nice. What I couldn't believe was how old he was! [leaves]
You know, sometimes I really cannot believe my ears.
I know. I should've taped them back when you were seven.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take a long, hot, steamy bath with just enough water to barely cover my perky bosoms.
You're only gonna sit in an inch of water?!
Of all the nerve! How could he possibly think I'd continue seeing him?! Blanche Devereaux has never shared a man!
Or a pizza.
And what does THAT mean, you wrinkled old crow?!
It means Fidel is interested in more than a cheap thrill, he also wants a mind!
Oh yeah?!! Well, we'll see about that!
You're on, baby!
[to Fidel] Midnight for dessert.
[Fidel leaves]
[perplexed] Dessert at midnight???
There's always room for Jello.
[walking over to Sophia] I just hate you. I regret the day you ever moved in here.
And I regret the day I gave birth to you!
Ma, Ma! I'm your daughter.
Oh, yeah...I need a Bromo-Seltzer!
I need a cheesecake!
WAWoman at Fidel's Funeral
I'm leaving. I'm not about to mourn a man who's been with every woman in this room!
He was never with me!
WWoman
I guess even he had his standards.
[reading the attendance] Jim Shu? [double takes and looks again] Jim Shu? Oh, I get it. Gym shoe, very funny. [Asian man stands up]
MMan
Excuse me, I am Jim Shu.
[Dorothy realizes her mistake]
I'm terribly sorry, I thought you were pulling my leg!
MMan
I don't think I can drink that much sake!
Oh, why would Fidel want another woman? After all, he's dipped his toes in the lake known as Blanche.
[confronting Fidel about the other woman] What is it? Is she younger? More attractive? More desirable?
[coming out from behind Fidel] You got two outta three, Blanche.
Well, its just breaking my heart. I never cared for a man as much as Fidel Santo Domingo.
[corrects her] Santiago.
Oh whatever. The point is, he's rich, he's handsome and we were made for each other...even if I don't speak Mexican.
Spanish.
WHATEVER!
S4 E2The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo
Hey, you got any decent nectarines?
SSSupermarket Stocker
There's nothing wrong with those nectarines!
Please. I've got a bowl of wax bananas that'll be ripe before these are!
SSSupermarket Stocker
You're crazy! This nectarine is beautiful! I've never seen a more perfect piece of fruit!
No? Then try kissing my behind. It's a real peach!
WAWoman at Supermarket
Sophia?
No, César Chávez. I got hungry.
[after telling a story about a man she once dated who had large, floppy ears] By the way, did you girls know that the size of a man's ears is directly proportional to the size of his other... bodily organs?
[puzzled] What do you mean?
He had a big floppy pancreas, Rose.
So when the waiter brought my order, he set down a big bowl of gazpacho right in front of me, and I said, "I ordered the consomme'." He said, "A hot number like you needs something spicy." And I said, "I'll give you something spicy," and I poured the gazpacho right down his pants.
So you never went out with him.
No... just slept with him. He wasn't my type.
Oh my goodness, Blanche, how could you?!
Oh come on, Rose, she's just teasing you.
That's right, honey, I'm just teasin'. You always tease the one you love. Actually, tease and tickle. Actually, tease, tickle and spank. Actually...
Blanche!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.