TV show quotes
[After Clair and Cliff decide to meet Vanessa]
I want you to do me a favor. From where my heels are to where I land, I want you to mark how far I jumped. [He jumps across the living room.]
All right, stay right there. [Counts and calculates.] One... two... that's about eight feet.
Eight feet? Add another three to that. Because when we see Vanessa, that's how far away from her I will have to be.
[to herself about Denise] Maybe when we were making the decision to have that child, somebody should have poured some cold water on Cliff!
Gosh, you know, all I want to do is help children and no one will let me!
Denise, why are you so hardheaded? The man didn't say that; he said you have to get an education to be of help here.
Well, I am ready now if Uncle Wilton would work with me!
Uncle Wilton already has enough children to work with; he doesn't need one as old as you! Denise, why don't you want to go to college? Why are you so afraid to go to college?
Because! I am ready now!
You know, a lot of people think they can just walk in off the street and do something because it looks easy! But they don't realize you have to work hard to make something look easy.
Pam (to Cliff): Would you treat that patient like a cousin or that patient like a patient?
I would treat that cousin like a patient.
Would you give me a prescription for birth control pills?
(talking to Pam about men) When I was Slide's age, I was a worm, but now...I'm only part worm.
This is woman stuff. I really need mom for this one.
I'm a gynecologist and you want to talk to a lawyer.
Why can't we just have simple bodies....like Dad.
This is your piece.
Elvin, I don't know what you see when you look in the mirror but your body is certainly not complicated.
Thank you Sondra, I'll be sure to keep my feelings about your body to myself.
What feelings?
It is not the time or place.
No, what feelings?
Your neck.
What's wrong with my neck?!
It's just a shade thin, sometimes I wonder how you swallow.
I know I've been there.
Where? Where have you been? You have been nowhere. And that is where you're going to stay if you don't quit stirring up trouble.
The truth is I was going to break curfew and take my punishment.
Come here. And just how do you know what that punishment is?
Did Rudy tell you about that machine in the basement?
Excuse me, Ms. Huxtable. It wasn't Pam's fault. She didn't even want to go. I talked her into it.
Well, then you must not be too much of a friend.
Yeah. I care for her a lot.
Well, I don't think so. Because people you care for, you look after them.
Dr. Huxtable, it's not all on Slide. I have a mind of my own.
Then you better start using it!
How about getting in the car to got to work and discovering your daughters understanding of 'empty' is 'I'll just park the car over here and mom will fill it up'.
How about leaving the car radio on so that both of us have a heart attack. Last time you left the thing on so loud your mother's hair went straight up!
How about when you have a date with a guy you really like?
Go ahead, tell him Denise.
And your father insists on meeting him. So what does he do? He takes the guy into the kitchen...
Have a little talk.
Yeah, have a little talk with your four-foot buck-knife!
You took Jeremy into that kitchen, took two apples put them on top of each other. Said that was us. Took one of the apples, skinned it, and said that was him. I haven't heard from the boy since.
There I was in class when the teacher was talking about punctuation and I start my period.
It says there is room for three kids.
Where, on the stove?
(pulling out one drawer) Here's one.
Olivia sleeps in a drawer?
(pulling out another drawer) Here's two. (studying the blueprint and walking toward the fridge) Here's three!
Well, what if you get hungry in the middle of the night? What are you supposed to do, fold the kid up?
(after Alfred finally makes a basket...)
How many is that?
Well, if you count all the shots I've taken today, I'm about 1 for 30.
Well, let's just say that the first 29 were practice and this one really counted.
Thanks, Theo.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Cosby Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
