Vanessa Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

Vanessa

[to Cliff and Clair] It's YOUR fault I have this problem. If you weren't rich, I wouldn't have this problem.

Vanessa

I didn't know you were coming over today.

Vanessa

There is no fun in my life!

Cliff

As you get older, it gets worse.

Cliff

What did I tell you about pushing your sister?

Vanessa

I'm just hurrying her along.

Cliff

That's fine, she's only 5 now, but she IS going to grow up and she MAY get into body building. And then she'll track you down and say "Remember all the times you used to push me around?" and clean your clock!

Vanessa

There is no fun in my life!

Cliff

As you get older, it gets worse.

Cliff

What did I tell you about pushing your sister?

Vanessa

I'm just hurrying her along.

Cliff

That's fine, she's only 5 now, but she IS going to grow up and she MAY get into body building. And then she'll track you down and say "Remember all the times you used to push me around?" and clean your clock!

Vanessa

Theo is babysitting?!

Cliff

That's right.

Vanessa

But what if the house catches fire?

Cliff

Then Theo will call the fire department!

Vanessa

Well what if burglars break in?

Cliff

Then Theo will un-arm them!

Vanessa

Well what if they know karate?

Cliff

Then Theo will die!

Vanessa

Theo is babysitting?!

Cliff

That's right.

Vanessa

But what if the house catches fire?

Cliff

Then Theo will call the fire department!

Vanessa

Well what if burglars break in?

Cliff

Then Theo will un-arm them!

Vanessa

Well what if they know karate?

Cliff

Then Theo will die!

Vanessa

Dad can I talk to you for a minute?

Cliff

Sure.

Vanessa

Privately? It's about boys.

Rudy

Excuuuuuse me.

Vanessa

Dad can I talk to you for a minute?

Cliff

Sure.

Vanessa

Privately? It's about boys.

Rudy

Excuuuuuse me.

Sondra

We thought it would be nice if we cooked the meal for Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary.

Theo

And I'm sure you girls will do a great job.

Sondra

Theo, I mean all of us.

Theo

I don't cook.

Clair

Maybe you should learn.

Theo

Why?

Clair

Theo, you're going to leave this house one day and you're going to want to eat.

Theo

I'll have my girlfriend cook!

Clair

Now where are you getting this attitude from?

Theo

Cockroach.

Ohhh Cockroach.

Theo

You see, we decided, we're only going to date girls who cook.

Sondra

Theo, the women of today have better things to do than to stay in the kitchen.

Theo

That's because the women of today haven't met the man of tomorrow.

Sondra

We thought it would be nice if we cooked the meal for Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary.

Theo

And I'm sure you girls will do a great job.

Sondra

Theo, I mean all of us.

Theo

I don't cook.

Clair

Maybe you should learn.

Theo

Why?

Clair

Theo, you're going to leave this house one day and you're going to want to eat.

Theo

I'll have my girlfriend cook!

Clair

Now where are you getting this attitude from?

Theo

Cockroach.

Ohhh Cockroach.

Theo

You see, we decided, we're only going to date girls who cook.

Sondra

Theo, the women of today have better things to do than to stay in the kitchen.

Theo

That's because the women of today haven't met the man of tomorrow.

Clair

I remember this guy named Jimmy Peterson. Now you see, Jimmy Peterson used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest girls did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.

Vanessa

What happened?

Clair

Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Jimmy Peterson and everyone up there looking up at me!

Vanessa

What did you do?

Clair

I did the only thing I could do. I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down! I walked past Jimmy Peterson, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again! That's how I ended up with your father.

Clair

I remember this guy named Jimmy Peterson. Now you see, Jimmy Peterson used to hang out at the city pool everyday, all summer long, and he was the finest thing there. And I knew that if I wanted to be his girlfriend, I had to get him to notice me. So, one day, I climbed the high-dive, which was something that only the absolute coolest girls did, because, see I knew he was gonna be watching.

Vanessa

What happened?

Clair

Well I got up on the high-dive, and I strutted out on that board to try and do the meanest swan dive in the history of swimming, got to the edge of the board, looked down and discovered why they call the high-dive, the high-dive. I stood there trembling, with Jimmy Peterson and everyone up there looking up at me!

Vanessa

What did you do?

Clair

I did the only thing I could do. I made everybody waiting on the ladder get off so I could get down! I walked past Jimmy Peterson, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't even look him in the face. I never spoke to him again! That's how I ended up with your father.

Clair

Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.

Vanessa

Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.

Cliff

But not to the death!