I mean, you're a doctor and Mom's a lawyer, but I don't love you any less because you're my dad. So instead of being disappointed that I'm not like you, maybe you should be happy and love me anyway, because I'm your son.
Theo... That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D's in everything! You're afraid to try because you're afraid your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ears. Now I'm telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you're going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you in this world, and I'll take you out!
[Cliff and Theo are discussing Theo's grades and his possible future]
You graduate from High school; let's say you just slide by. Now you gotta find a job. Now what kind of salary do you expect for a regular person?
Sit down. [giving Theo Monopoly money] I'm gonna give you $300 a week. Yes indeed. $300 a week, $1200 dollars a month.
Yes you will, and I will take [takes some of the money] $350 for taxes.
Uh, yeah. You see, the government comes for the regular people first. Now how much does that leave you with?
All right. Now you have got to have an apartment, because you are not going to live here. [taking more money] So an apartment in Manhattan will run you at least $400 a month.
I'll live in New Jersey. [takes back $200]
All right, you live in New Jersey, you've got to have a car. [takes $300]
I'll ride a motorbike. [takes back $100]
You need a helmet. [Cliff takes $50] Figure $100 a month for clothes and shoes. [takes $100]
Figure $200 a month, I want to look good! [give Cliff $100]
So what's that leave you with?
There is a problem, you haven't eaten yet! [Cliff takes $100]
I can get by on baloney and cereal. [takes back $100] So I've got everything under control PLUS $200 left for the month.
You plan to have a girlfriend?
[Cliff takes the remaining $200]
[pointing at Theo's empty hand] Regular people.
I mean, you're a doctor and Mom's a lawyer, but I don't love you any less because you're my dad. So instead of being disappointed that I'm not like you, maybe you should be happy and love me anyway, because I'm your son.
Theo... That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life! No wonder you get D's in everything! You're afraid to try because you're afraid your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ears. Now I'm telling you, you are going to try as hard as you can. And you're going to do it because I said so. I am your father. I brought you in this world, and I'll take you out!
[Cliff and Theo are discussing Theo's grades and his possible future]
You graduate from High school; let's say you just slide by. Now you gotta find a job. Now what kind of salary do you expect for a regular person?
Sit down. [giving Theo Monopoly money] I'm gonna give you $300 a week. Yes indeed. $300 a week, $1200 dollars a month.
Yes you will, and I will take [takes some of the money] $350 for taxes.
Uh, yeah. You see, the government comes for the regular people first. Now how much does that leave you with?
All right. Now you have got to have an apartment, because you are not going to live here. [taking more money] So an apartment in Manhattan will run you at least $400 a month.
I'll live in New Jersey. [takes back $200]
All right, you live in New Jersey, you've got to have a car. [takes $300]
I'll ride a motorbike. [takes back $100]
You need a helmet. [Cliff takes $50] Figure $100 a month for clothes and shoes. [takes $100]
Figure $200 a month, I want to look good! [give Cliff $100]
So what's that leave you with?
There is a problem, you haven't eaten yet! [Cliff takes $100]
I can get by on baloney and cereal. [takes back $100] So I've got everything under control PLUS $200 left for the month.
You plan to have a girlfriend?
[Cliff takes the remaining $200]
[pointing at Theo's empty hand] Regular people.
[walks around disheveled room] Hard to get good help around here, isn't it? Uh, son, your mother asked me to come up here and kill you.
What you're gonna say. And it's under control, so--
"'Both"': No problem! [Bill sarcastically]
"'Cliff"': Son, how do you expect to get into college with grades like this? Huh?
"'Theo"': No problem. See, I'm not going to college.
Damn right![sarcastically]
I am gonna get through high school. And then, get a job like regular people.
Yeah, you know. Work at gas station,drive a bus, something like that.
Cliff': So what you're saying is, your mother and I shouldn't care if you get D's because you don't need good grades to be: "regular people" ?
Dad, it's okay to be weird here, but you're going outside the house now.
He's a minister, Dad, he'll tell God we're crazy.
Cliff: We are here to say good bye to Lamont, the goldfish. Vanessa: I always felt safe with him around.
Dad, it's okay to be weird here, but you're going outside the house now.
He's a minister, Dad, he'll tell God we're crazy.
Cliff: We are here to say good bye to Lamont, the goldfish. Vanessa: I always felt safe with him around.
[Cliff is excited and jittery that his son made the school football team]
CClaire
Cliff, now this may be impossible, but do you think you can calm down?
[happily swerving] Calm? Sure I can be calm!
CClaire
Cliff, your eyes are dancing.
Are they? [walks to a mirror] Let me see. [looks in the mirror] They are, aren't they? They are! They are dancing!
CClaire
Cliff, come on now sit down.
No no, do me a favor, do me a favor, say it again. I wanna see them dance, let 'em go! Let 'em go! Say it!
