Theo Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show

Cliff

[after a long screeched note on a clarinet is heard downstairs] Have we moved closer to the river?

Theo

You think she's blowing through the right end?

Cliff

I think she just killed a goose.

Cliff

[starts destroying the game] That´s it, halftime.

Theo

Dad, there's no halftime in chess!

Cliff

The band is playing, so that's halftime.

Cliff

[after a long screeched note on a clarinet is heard downstairs] Have we moved closer to the river?

Theo

You think she's blowing through the right end?

Cliff

I think she just killed a goose.

Cliff

[starts destroying the game] That´s it, halftime.

Theo

Dad, there's no halftime in chess!

Cliff

The band is playing, so that's halftime.

Cliff

[Looking straight at Theo] Was that you?

Theo

[Breaks character and bursts out laughing]

Cliff

[imitating Julia Child] First, you slice ever so gently along the grain, following the contour of the bird.

Theo

Dad, why are you talking like that?

Cliff

[still imitating Julia Child] I have no idea; it's just that it makes me feel more secure when I'm in the kitchen.

Cliff

[imitating Julia Child] First, you slice ever so gently along the grain, following the contour of the bird.

Theo

Dad, why are you talking like that?

Cliff

[still imitating Julia Child] I have no idea; it's just that it makes me feel more secure when I'm in the kitchen.

Theo

[revealing his earring to Cliff] It's an earring, dad. There's a hole in my ear, and Denise says it might be infected.

Cliff

Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.

Theo

What are you gonna do to me?

Cliff

I am going to fix your ear.

Theo

Then what?

Cliff

You expecting some sort of punishment?

Theo

Shouldn't I?

Cliff

Yeah.

Theo

[revealing his earring to Cliff] It's an earring, dad. There's a hole in my ear, and Denise says it might be infected.

Cliff

Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.

Theo

What are you gonna do to me?

Cliff

I am going to fix your ear.

Theo

Then what?

Cliff

You expecting some sort of punishment?

Theo

Shouldn't I?

Cliff

Yeah.

Cliff

Son?

Theo

Yeah, Dad?

Cliff

There's no music coming through the headset. You still bopping to what's left of your brain?

Theo

Dad, Denise is hogging the bathroom!

Cliff

Why don't you use the one downstairs?

Theo

The small one? That one's for guests.

Cliff

Then pretend you don't live here.

Theo

Dad, Denise is hogging the bathroom!

Cliff

Why don't you use the one downstairs?

Theo

The small one? That one's for guests.

Cliff

Then pretend you don't live here.

Theo

Hey, if Dad lets you go, I'll give you five-hundred dollars.

Denise

You don't have five-hundred dollars!

Theo

Do I look worried?

Theo

Hey, if Dad lets you go, I'll give you five-hundred dollars.

Denise

You don't have five-hundred dollars!

Theo

Do I look worried?

Theo

Hi mom!

Hi. Where are you going?

Theo

Down the street to play touch football.

Theo, it's five degrees out there!

Theo

I got two pairs of socks on.

Well you are putting on gloves and a hat.

Theo

Mom, this is freeze football. If you wear a lot of stuff, you're not a real man!

Well how's a real man gonna feel when his mother shows up on the field carrying his gloves and a hat?

Theo

Hey dad.

Cliff

Hey, where you going?

Theo

Freeze football.

Cliff

You can't play freeze football like that, you gotta take all that stuff off!