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S1 E14

The Cosby Show · Season 1, Episode 14

“Independence Day” quotes from The Cosby Show

6 quotes

“Independence Day” · Season 1, Episode 14

In this episode: Cliff Huxtable (6), Clair Huxtable (3), Theo Huxtable (3)

Look my folks are not coming over to eat, they are coming over here to spoil the children.

CClaire

Well what do you expect? They're grandparents.

Right, grandparents, all right. These are not the same people I grew up with, these are the biggest hypocrites you've ever seen.

...

CClaire

Your mother's one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

I didn't say she wasn't sweet. But this woman comes over here to the house, kisses every child. 'Just come here and kiss your grandmother. Oh you're just the most beautiful children on the face of this earth!' But when I was her child, I'm telling you, this woman, all she ever wanted to do was take a stick and ask God to give her enough strength so she could knock us somewhere! And to this day, I still don't know where Kingdom-come is. And all she is, as far as I'm concerned, is an old person trying to get into Heaven now.

[revealing his earring to Cliff] It's an earring, dad. There's a hole in my ear, and Denise says it might be infected.

[Cliff comes over, to examine the ear, touches the ear, and Theo flinches]

Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.

What are you gonna do to me?

I am going to fix your ear.

Then what?

You expecting some sort of punishment?

Shouldn't I?

Yeah.

Look my folks are not coming over to eat, they are coming over here to spoil the children.

CClaire

Well what do you expect? They're grandparents.

Right, grandparents, all right. These are not the same people I grew up with, these are the biggest hypocrites you've ever seen.

...

CClaire

Your mother's one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

I didn't say she wasn't sweet. But this woman comes over here to the house, kisses every child. 'Just come here and kiss your grandmother. Oh you're just the most beautiful children on the face of this earth!' But when I was her child, I'm telling you, this woman, all she ever wanted to do was take a stick and ask God to give her enough strength so she could knock us somewhere! And to this day, I still don't know where Kingdom-come is. And all she is, as far as I'm concerned, is an old person trying to get into Heaven now.

[revealing his earring to Cliff] It's an earring, dad. There's a hole in my ear, and Denise says it might be infected.

[Cliff comes over, to examine the ear, touches the ear, and Theo flinches]

Well, she's right. It is infected. Come on.

What are you gonna do to me?

I am going to fix your ear.

Then what?

You expecting some sort of punishment?

Shouldn't I?

Yeah.

Look, my folks are not coming over to eat, they are coming over here to spoil the children.

CClaire

Well, what do you expect? They're grandparents.

Right, grandparents, all right. These are not the same people I grew up with, these are the biggest hypocrites you've ever seen. No, I am telling you right now, my father comes through that door, reaches into his pocket pulls out a handful of money. “Well let’s see if granddad has any money for these wonderful children.” This is the same man who when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, the man would tell me his life story. This man would tell me how at age five, he woke up at 4 o’clock every morning, had no alarm clock, had no rooster, just the sense of responsibility. Snow was up to here. [mime saluting] Had no shoes but he walked through a blizzard. Backwards. And I talked to other people with fathers, and find out fathers are the lyingest people on the face of this earth. I have a friend who’s Puerto Rican. His father was brought up in San Juan, walked through the snow in San Juan. No, my father got a job milking 120 cows. The man he worked for had no bucket so he had to squirt the milk into his hand, walk eight miles, through the snow up to here [salute]. And I am telling you right now my mother is the same way.

CClaire

Your mother's one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

I didn't say she wasn't sweet. But this woman comes over here to the house, kisses every child. 'Just come here and kiss your grandmother. Oh you're just the most beautiful children on the face of this earth!' But when I was her child, I'm telling you, this woman, all she ever wanted to do was take a stick and ask God to give her enough strength so she could knock us somewhere! And to this day, I still don't know where Kingdom-come is. And all she is, as far as I'm concerned, is an old person trying to get into Heaven now.

[Theo is wearing an unplugged set of headphones to cover his pierced ear.]

Son?

Yeah, Dad?

There's no music coming through the headset. You still bopping to what's left of your brain?

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