Cliff Huxtable quotes from The Cosby Show, page 8 ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Bill Cosby

Most-quoted character in The Cosby Show: in 245 of its 376 quotes
Most scenes with: Clair Huxtable (99), Theo Huxtable (48), Rudy Huxtable (33)

Scenes with Cliff Huxtable 218

Cliff

So I know there's going to be a present for me, boy. So, what is it?

Theo

Come on, Dad, you know I can't tell you.

Cliff:

[chuckles] I know that. How old are you now?

Theo

14.

Cliff

14. Two years from now, you're going to want a car. I'm the only one who can buy it for you. So my boy, what's it gonna be?

Theo

Okay, Dad.

Cliff

Okay.

[a moment passes as the two look around to make sure no one is watching]

Theo

This year, everyone is pitching in to get you something you're really gonna love.

Cliff Well what is it?

[another moment passes as the two look around to make sure no one is watching]

Theo They won't tell me.

S1 E24 Cliff's Birthday

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Cliff

Clair, Clair. Clair! [kisses Clair] Clair, Clair, it's the first day of school!

Clair

It's the first day of school?

Cliff

First day of school!

Clair

We get the house back?!

Cliff

We made it through the summer! And now all we have to do is get them out of the house, and if you and I are good about it, we can get them out in ten minutes!

S2 E1 First Day of School

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[Theo is wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off]

Cliff

Theo is that the shirt we bought?

Theo

Yeah.

Cliff

Well, when we bought it, didn't it have sleeves?

Theo

Yeah, they're upstairs.

Cliff

Well, didn't they feel like coming down this morning?

S2 E1 First Day of School

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Clair

It's your turn to wake the children. I woke them on the last day of school.

Cliff

That is nothing. All you did was stand out in the hall and shouted "Last day of school!!" and the children next door were jumping out of windows!

S2 E1 First Day of School

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Cliff

Clair, Clair. Clair! [kisses Clair] Clair, Clair, it's the first day of school!

Clair

It's the first day of school?

Cliff

First day of school!

Clair

We get the house back?!

Cliff

We made it through the summer! And now all we have to do is get them out of the house, and if you and I are good about it, we can get them out in ten minutes!

S2 E1 First Day of School

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[Theo is wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off]

Cliff

Theo is that the shirt we bought?

Theo

Yeah.

Cliff

Well, when we bought it, didn't it have sleeves?

Theo

Yeah, they're upstairs.

Cliff

Well, didn't they feel like coming down this morning?

S2 E1 First Day of School

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Clair

It's your turn to wake the children. I woke them on the last day of school.

Cliff

That is nothing. All you did was stand out in the hall and shouted "Last day of school!!" and the children next door were jumping out of windows!

S2 E1 First Day of School

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Clair

What is this?

Cliff

Dear. This is a stainless steel maintenance free appliance which provides nutritious drinks for just pennies a day.

Clair

And it's going to end up with the rest of the stainless steel self maintenance appliances in the appliance graveyard underneath the counter. [opens up the counter] Let's see. [pulls out a waffle-maker] The answer to Sunday breakfast?

Cliff

Yes I bought that.

Clair

"Waffles, Clair. I'm going to make waffles every Sunday morning!" Until you had to clean it! And this... [pulls out a special pan] "Crepes, Clair. Think of all the different kind of crepes we can make with this." Turned out to be none.

Theo

Yeah but mom, remember the sausage stuffer?

CClaire

Didn't stuff a thing!

Cliff: [to Theo] Et tu, Brute?

S2 E2 The Juicer

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Cliff

Is this the same juicer that I said, 'Mine, mine, mine'?