Andy Flynn quotes from The Closer

Provenza

Is that a rat?

Flynn

That's his hair replacement system.

Provenza

His what?!

Flynn

They used to call it a toupee.

Provenza

They used to call it bald, too.

Brenda

Lt. Provenza...

Provenza

Flynn and I are going to go back to Sandy.

Brenda

Why, exactly?

Flynn

Tie up loose ends.

Provenza

Girl's loose ends need tying.

Provenza

Ok. We all know what's going on here. The smart move is to not get involved until the dust settles.

Flynn

Yeah. That's the smart move, alright. What's your idea?

Brenda

Lieutenant Flynn, your resignation surprised me most of all. The whole time I've been here, you've never said one complimentary thing about or to me.

Flynn

Chief, you have really great legs.

Provenza

Gimme $100.

Flynn

I already gave you $100.

Provenza

You're way up.

Flynn

So what? You know where the ATM is. Besides, I say we cash in.

Provenza

Fine, fine, fine, we'll cash in. [grabs Ari] C'mon, Ari. You're cashing in, too.

Ari

Hey, don't touch me. [looking at Provenza's shirt] Who the hell are you, anyway?

Flynn

LAPD. We're here to give you a lift home.

Ari

Put that away, you stupid... look, I'm not leaving. And you can't do anything to me here anyway.

Provenza

Oh really? Hey! Hey everybody! Listen up! I wanna tell you about my friend Ari here.

Ari

Hey! Shut up, you idiot, you're gonna get me killed!

Flynn

Hey moron, now imagine us doing that, only on television, and all your cousin's friends find out that you're a snitch.

Provenza

[shoving all of Ari's chips to the center] And don't forget to tip the dealer.

Flynn

Let's go.

Flynn

So, he's not in his room. [Provenza keeps playing] And I think we've pretty well determined he's not over here. And where'd you get that shirt anyway? The '80s?

Provenza

Your ex-wife loved it. Said it was easier to unbutton than anything you ever wore. Put your glasses on, old man; turn around and take a gander. Ari's right over there playing blackjack. And there's two open seats next to him. Now I say that we put him under tight surveillance for an hour or so.

Flynn

You're kidding me, right? That's a $25 table.

Provenza

There's an ATM next to the cashier, and I am feeling luck-eeeee.

Brenda

Lt. Provenza, are you eatin' chocolate in here?

Provenza

[With a guilty look] Sorry.

Brenda

I thought we'd agreed to keep snacks with processed sugar out of the murder room. If y'all have to have candy please do so in the hallways or the electronics room. Or you could try givin' it up. Since I stopped eatin' all that crap I have more energy. And I'm sleepin' better too.

Flynn

What about nuts?

Brenda

Excuse me?

Flynn

Are my nuts allowed in here?

Brenda

Do they have sugar on them, Lieutenant?

Flynn

No, they're salty.

Brenda

Well, there's your answer, then.

Provenza

Gimme $100.

Flynn

I already gave you $100.

Provenza

You're way up.

Flynn

So what? You know where the ATM is. Besides, I say we cash in.

Provenza

Fine, fine, fine, we'll cash in. [grabs Ari] C'mon, Ari. You're cashing in, too.

Ari

Hey, don't touch me. [looking at Provenza's shirt] Who the hell are you, anyway?

Flynn

LAPD. We're here to give you a lift home.

Ari

Put that away, you stupid... look, I'm not leaving. And you can't do anything to me here anyway.

Provenza

Oh really? Hey! Hey everybody! Listen up! I wanna tell you about my friend Ari here.

Ari

Hey! Shut up, you idiot, you're gonna get me killed!

Flynn

Hey moron, now imagine us doing that, only on television, and all your cousin's friends find out that you're a snitch.

Provenza

[shoving all of Ari's chips to the center] And don't forget to tip the dealer.

Flynn

Let's go.

Flynn

So, he's not in his room. [Provenza keeps playing] And I think we've pretty well determined he's not over here. And where'd you get that shirt anyway? The '80s?

Provenza

Your ex-wife loved it. Said it was easier to unbutton than anything you ever wore. Put your glasses on, old man; turn around and take a gander. Ari's right over there playing blackjack. And there's two open seats next to him. Now I say that we put him under tight surveillance for an hour or so.

Flynn

You're kidding me, right? That's a $25 table.

Provenza

There's an ATM next to the cashier, and I am feeling luck-eeeee.

Brenda

Lt. Provenza, are you eatin' chocolate in here?

Provenza

[With a guilty look] Sorry.

Brenda

I thought we'd agreed to keep snacks with processed sugar out of the murder room. If y'all have to have candy please do so in the hallways or the electronics room. Or you could try givin' it up. Since I stopped eatin' all that crap I have more energy. And I'm sleepin' better too.

Flynn

What about nuts?

Brenda

Excuse me?

Flynn

Are my nuts allowed in here?

Brenda

Do they have sugar on them, Lieutenant?

Flynn

No, they're salty.

Brenda

Well, there's your answer, then.

Tao

[Staking out Vahan's apartment] He's been in there all day.

Flynn

If you had his girlfriend, you'd be in there all day, too.

Tao

[Staking out Vahan's apartment] He's been in there all day.

Flynn

If you had his girlfriend, you'd be in there all day, too.

Time! Qualification has been achieved. You may all remove your gear and sign the queue log, please. [everyone removes their hazmat suits and signs out except Buzz]

Flynn

It's ok, Tao. You can take the helmet off now. [Buzz takes off the helmet and signs out, to everyones surprise]

You're Michael Tao?

Buzz

That's Lieutenant Michael Tao.

Provenza

He's adopted.

Provenza

Family Law Attorney Real Property Lien. FLARPL.

Flynn

Sounds like something you would get at a Dairy Queen. In India.

Provenza

Well, its a law permitting asshole divorce lawyers to put a lien on a clients home to ensure payment.

Flynn

Your second wife?

Pope

I just told Commander Taylor to arrange a press conference for first thing in the morning; let the world know the Mayhans had nothing to do with this.

Brenda

Uh, if you don't mind, I think Lieutenant Flynn should handle this one.

Pope

Yeah, okay.

Brenda

Thanks.

Flynn

Hey, Chief? Thank you.