Fritz Howard quotes from The Closer

Fritz

You see, being a alcoholic isn't such a bad thing as long as you don't pour yourself a drink.

Fritz

[to Brenda, re: her angry father]In the five seconds I have to prepare you for what you're about to face, my suggestion is: don't argue, don't defend, just say "I'm sorry."

Fritz

You know hon, someday when you look back on your life, almost everything you see will be marked off with crime scene tape because you didn't make time for much of anything else.

Brenda

I can't make the pieces fit together in this case and every other street in the hills is called Mulholland somethin'.

Fritz

I thought you had a driver.

Brenda

Oh, I did. But I got mad at him and now I'm late everywhere.

Fritz

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Brenda

No, no, no. You know what? It's fine. Really. Are you still not drinkin'? Because I could use a drink. [to server] Excuse me. Hi there. May I have a huge glass of merlot, please? Thank you.

Brenda

I can't make the pieces fit together in this case and every other street in the hills is called Mulholland somethin'.

Fritz

I thought you had a driver.

Brenda

Oh, I did. But I got mad at him and now I'm late everywhere.

Fritz

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Brenda

No, no, no. You know what? It's fine. Really. Are you still not drinkin'? Because I could use a drink. [to server] Excuse me. Hi there. May I have a huge glass of merlot, please? Thank you.

Brenda

What is that?

Fritz

I call her Tara. I think it's the same woman who does my voice mail.

Brenda

What is that?

Fritz

I call her Tara. I think it's the same woman who does my voice mail.

Brenda

So why don't you just ask me about it? I know what you're thinking.

Fritz

Ok, I did read the article about your ethics investigation.

Brenda

And you were wondering what all the hoopla was about.

Fritz

Well, it's none of my business, really, but, uh, yeah.

Provenza

[Eavesdropping with Buzz over Brenda's wire] Ok. Here we go. Spill your guts.

Brenda

It was my crazy ex-husband...

Buzz

Lieutenant, this is making me really uncomfortable.

Provenza

Buzz, don't make me pull out my gun.

Brenda

So why don't you just ask me about it? I know what you're thinking.

Fritz

Ok, I did read the article about your ethics investigation.

Brenda

And you were wondering what all the hoopla was about.

Fritz

Well, it's none of my business, really, but, uh, yeah.

Provenza

[Eavesdropping with Buzz over Brenda's wire] Ok. Here we go. Spill your guts.

Brenda

It was my crazy ex-husband...

Buzz

Lieutenant, this is making me really uncomfortable.

Provenza

Buzz, don't make me pull out my gun.

Brenda

[On the phone with Fritz] I'm going to have to deal with some pompous, arrogant oaf who doesn't know thing one about investigating a murder. You wouldn't happen to know who they're sending over, would you?

Fritz

[walking into Brenda's office talking on his cell phone] Yeah. I do.

Fritz

[commenting on Brenda's team] They're not the friendliest group I've ever met with.

Brenda

Well, they're a little slow to warm up.

Tao

I Googled it. [To Fritz] It's an internet thing.

Fritz

Yeah, I know what Google is, Lieutenant. It's the FBI that has a hard time getting online, not me.

Fritz

Alright, we need to get some units over to this Crag Sherman's house right away. I'll call over to see if I can't get us FBI backup.

Brenda

Oh. Didn't I tell you? We picked him up fifteen minutes ago.