Mike Tao quotes from The Closer

Tao

I Googled it. [To Fritz] It's an internet thing.

Fritz

Yeah, I know what Google is, Lieutenant. It's the FBI that has a hard time getting online, not me.

Tao

I Googled it. [To Fritz] It's an internet thing.

Fritz

Yeah, I know what Google is, Lieutenant. It's the FBI that has a hard time getting online, not me.

Brenda

Did you make the match?

Tao

Any minute.

Brenda

You don't have it?

Tao

It's coming.

Brenda

Lt. Tao, I need to start this interview, and if you don't finish I could be up a nasty-smelling creek without a paddle!

Tao

Just go slow. As soon as the match comes through I'll bring it directly to Gabriel. [Hands her two small chocolate-covered eclairs] Here. For all our sakes. Please.

Brenda

[accepts them] Thank you.

Brenda

Did you make the match?

Tao

Any minute.

Brenda

You don't have it?

Tao

It's coming.

Brenda

Lt. Tao, I need to start this interview, and if you don't finish I could be up a nasty-smelling creek without a paddle!

Tao

Just go slow. As soon as the match comes through I'll bring it directly to Gabriel. [Hands her two small chocolate-covered eclairs] Here. For all our sakes. Please.

Brenda

[accepts them] Thank you.

Tao

[Staking out Vahan's apartment] He's been in there all day.

Flynn

If you had his girlfriend, you'd be in there all day, too.

Tao

[Staking out Vahan's apartment] He's been in there all day.

Flynn

If you had his girlfriend, you'd be in there all day, too.

Brenda

[to Lt. Tao, who is wearing a hazmat suit] Take off...TAKE OFF THIS RIDICULOUS HELMET! And the suit! All of it! For heaven's sakes!

Tao

Chief, this could end the entire training session!

Brenda

Well, some things are more important, Lt. Tao. Now, Buzz, I need you to put on this hat and that suit. And hurry!

Buzz

You want me to go out there and pretend to be Lt. Tao?

Brenda

Yes! Exactly!

Buzz

Do I have to over-explain everything?

Tao

Hey!

Brenda

[Lt. Tao uncovers a dead body] Oh! What is that smell?!

Tao

Margaritas! One is never enough, two is too many, and twelve? Well, you're looking at twelve.

Brenda

What makes a child go bad, nature or nurture?

Tao

Unfortunately, chief, by the time we get involved it really doesn't matter.

Brenda

Lieutenant, what just happened?

Tao

The explosives on Mellman were unstable so they had to be BIP'd.

Brenda

Wha...?

Tao

BIP... Blown in place.

Brenda

So where's my victim?

Provenza

My guess is he's probably all over the ceiling.

Tao

What makes a good marriage? I think patience.

Patience. And separate bathrooms.

Provenza

Up until now, you guys had avoided all the big mistakes people make in a relationship: getting married, buying a house and having kids. I look at this wedding today as a big red flag.

Gabriel

Hi. I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed working with both of you, truly. And this really couldn't be happening to two nicer people. Congratulations, you guys.

Flynn

Hey, you guys. Enjoy Italy. You've earned it. And make sure you "sleep in" a lot your first week out. Heh heh heh.

Daniels

I don't know much about successful relationships, but you seem to have one. And I'm happy to have been a part of your lives.

Buzz

I just wanted to say that its really nice to have been invited to the reception, and I hope this little tribute is something you will like, and keep and remember.

Sanchez

My wife died six years ago and I've never taken off her ring. Always love each other. Always.

Pope

Well, I'm...happy for you. Both. May each year bring you closer together.

Taylor

So...just say something nice?

Buzz

That's what I did.

Taylor

Okay, let me think...

Tao

Whether it was the driver or someone else, the kidnapper would have gotten rid of the car pretty quickly.

Brenda

Probably somewhere near the airport. Lt. Provenza! I really need that car, and you seem to be awfully frisky this afternoon.

Provenza

Well, yes I am! And Chief, this is perfect weather to organize a grid search for a town car. And I could really go for a nice long walk around LAX. It'd be good for me!

Pope

Ok, do we have a breathalyzer up here?

Provenza

There's over 5 million dollars here, and the kidnappers only want a little over a million! Now if Summers was behind this, don't you think he'd want to take it all?

Tao

Maybe he wanted to leave something behind for his wife.

Brenda

You haven't met her.

Buzz

I applied for this federal grant to upgrade our surveillance system and I think I got it but I need help translating this letter.

Tao

What language is it in?

Buzz

Government.

Tao

Just to be clear, we're calling this a major crime because...?

Brenda

Look, whenever a member of my division stumbles on a body, it is automatically a major crime.