Brenda Leigh Johnson quotes from The Closer

Gabriel

Something's bothering me a little.

Brenda

What's that, sergeant?

Gabriel

This whole CIA thing. I don't know how much I trust them. How I feel about the people who work there, you know?

Brenda

I know. It's a gray area. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be on officer of the CIA, and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fighting the same fight and he used the Dark Ages as an example. And he talked about how on one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church, forcing everyone to follow the same rules, have the same beliefs and all that. Neither the king or the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things. But the point of the story was this: that this struggle from the Dark Ages had been going on forever, and the church and the king might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other, pragmatist and idealist, and that most times you're better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out. But every once in a while one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way, and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team. And so for tonight, anyway, we're serving the king.

Gabriel

Something's bothering me a little.

Brenda

What's that, sergeant?

Gabriel

This whole CIA thing. I don't know how much I trust them. How I feel about the people who work there, you know?

Brenda

I know. It's a gray area. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be on officer of the CIA, and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fighting the same fight and he used the Dark Ages as an example. And he talked about how on one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church, forcing everyone to follow the same rules, have the same beliefs and all that. Neither the king or the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things. But the point of the story was this: that this struggle from the Dark Ages had been going on forever, and the church and the king might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other, pragmatist and idealist, and that most times you're better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out. But every once in a while one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way, and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team. And so for tonight, anyway, we're serving the king.

Gabriel

This isn't the way to Lompoc.

Brenda

No, we're going to the airport.

Gabriel

We're taking the L.A.P.D. plane? I thought you were supposed to be saving money.

Brenda

No, Sergeant, we're supposed to be finding a murderer and we are not doing it in the carpool lane.

Gabriel

This isn't the way to Lompoc.

Brenda

No, we're going to the airport.

Gabriel

We're taking the L.A.P.D. plane? I thought you were supposed to be saving money.

Brenda

No, Sergeant, we're supposed to be finding a murderer and we are not doing it in the carpool lane.

Gabriel

Dont. Don't do this.

Brenda

What? Sergeant, now is not the time to discuss this.

Gabriel

Kenyon Richards devotes his life to feeding and helping people, saving lives in some of the poorest communities in this city.

Brenda

We will talk about this later. [She turns to go back in the interview room, but Gabriel intercepts her]

Gabriel

If you arrest him, you will be sending a message to every gangster in town there there is no point to change, that they're beyond forgiveness, that no matter who they become, they will always be who they were.

Brenda

I am not sending a message. I'm solving a murder. That is my job. [Brenda tries to open the interview room door, but Gabriel grabs the knob.]

Gabriel

I thought our job was to protect and serve. Who are we protecting by sending him to prison? Who are we serving? Okay, I don't know who Kenyon Richards was 15 years ago, but the man he is today, the man that he has become, does not deserve this!

Brenda

That is for a judge and jury to decide. Now, if you are ready to substitute your own personal sense of right and wrong for the law, which is what we are sworn to uphold, you should turn your badge in today. Step aside. Now. [Gabriel stares her down] I said, step aside, Sergeant! [Gabriel angrily releases the knob and Brenda goes back in the interview room]

Pope

[about the video on YouTube] You shut down a church. And a funeral home. You arrested a bride.

Brenda

I did that groom a big favor.

Pope

I'm sure, but his family's in the lobby and they, surprisingly, don't agree. The father of the bride who has money coming out of...whatever, you choose an orifice, is threatening a major lawsuit. Ray Hodge's relatives are furious, and what could have been just a minor embarrassment is now a complete disaster. Oh, and congratulations, Chief Johnson! You've just become the most downloaded, fully-clothed woman on the Internet!

Taylor

This business with the bride would have been far worse had Chief Johnson actually done anything effectively to defend herself.

Brenda

When Ms. Morgan attacked me, I made a conscious choice not to respond.

Taylor

Clearly.

Brenda

Do you think he... might have been involved with her? [about the dead girl]

With Ray's heart, he couldn't raise a flag...and viagra would have been suicide.

Brenda

Detective, what do you think of my lipstick?

Daniels

Uh, you asking me as a friend or the Chief?

[after having confessed to raping and murdering three girls] Wait, what's going to happen to me?

Brenda

You'll be kept in isolation here until morning, then you'll be handed over to county under the supervision of the sheriff's department, and after that? I have no idea.

You don't understand. If they put me back in general population, they'll beat me. They'll beat me.

Brenda

No, Roger. I do understand. What I'm trying to tell you is: I don't care.

Brenda

Let me guess, natural causes?

If we were guessing, I wouldn't be cutting the old guy open, pulling out his intestines. I'd be at brunch, with my friends, having a mimosa.

Brenda

Well, Dr. Morales, I'm so sorry to interrupt your Sunday, but its important to establish that Mr. Kaplan here is not a homicide victim.

Well then, wipe off your crystal ball, honey, because this guessing game isn't working for you.

Taylor

[concerning Baxter's previous complaints] You know, Chief, we get this kind of stuff all the time. It's hard enough staying on top of the crimes we find, much less the ones people make up. And the guy was, you know...

Brenda

I know exactly what happened. Mr. Baxter's old and...difficult. Because of that, he was dismissed out of hand. And I know that's what happened because that's exactly what I've been trying to do to him myself. And when we just dumped a complaint in the trash, a few more human beings went with it.

Are you actually talking about putting me in prison?

Brenda

Don't worry. It's not that different from Summerview, really. You have to sign in to visit people, friends and relatives tend to forget you exist, and at some point, the state of California may just put you out of your misery.

Well, I certainly don't deserve this!

Brenda

You're right, Mr. Whaley. Unfortunately, it's the worst I can do to you.

Brenda

Actually, Doctor, I am feeling a little weird and the cold medicine I took seems to be making my heart race. Is that normal?

Ok, first: stay over there. Because whatever you have, I don't want it.

Brenda

Sorry. Do you want to know my symptoms?

Do you have insurance?

Brenda

Yes, I do.

Then see your own doctor. You end up dying, I promise to find out why.

Brenda

[to Lt. Tao, who is wearing a hazmat suit] Take off...TAKE OFF THIS RIDICULOUS HELMET! And the suit! All of it! For heaven's sakes!

Tao

Chief, this could end the entire training session!

Brenda

Well, some things are more important, Lt. Tao. Now, Buzz, I need you to put on this hat and that suit. And hurry!

Buzz

You want me to go out there and pretend to be Lt. Tao?

Brenda

Yes! Exactly!

Buzz

Do I have to over-explain everything?

Tao

Hey!