Brenda Leigh Johnson quotes from The Closer

Fritz

I was planning on doing this at dinner tonight. It probably would be been more romantic, but chances are you'd still probably be working. And this damn thing doesn't really fit in my pocket, so...

Brenda

What damn thing?

Fritz

I know in your heart you're a bit of an old fashioned girl, so... [gets down on bended knee and takes out a box with a diamond ring] You see, I've arrived at that place where I can't imagine life without you. And let me just say I love you more than anything else in the world. Brenda, will you marry me? Please?

Brenda

You're only asking me because you feel sorry for me.

Fritz

No, I don't. Not at all.

Brenda

Yes, you do.

Fritz

I don't feel sorry. I'm not being nice. You are the woman I've been looking for my whole life and I'm taking advantage of you when you're most vulnerable because I want you to say yes. So please say yes.

Brenda

It's so beautiful. It's ok if I keep my own name?

Fritz

Of course.

Brenda

Well, if you don't have any better sense than to ask me, I guess I better marry you. Because I think you're the guy I've been looking for too. And here we are. We found each other.

Fritz

I thought I knew how much shame you had, but now I see there's a level below. A whole sub-basement of shamelessness.

Brenda

I'm horrible, I know.

Fritz

No, actually. I'm kind of impressed.

Brenda

Well, will you help me, then?

Pope

Chief Johnson, is it true that you have a camcorder in evidence belonging to Yi Chu, Deputy Undersecretary of Agricultural Affairs for the Peoples Republic of China?

Brenda

Well, I knew it belonged to a Yi Chu, I didn't know it belonged to the Yi Chu.

Pope

Mr. Chu says he called repeatedly and told you that he borrowed the camera from his boss, and he's afraid to return to China without it.

Brenda

Is he asking for asylum?

Pope

This may surprise you, but in some cultures, supervisors are still shown a modicum of respect and employees actually try to please the boss! So lose the attitude and see this guy gets his damn camera back! I don't need any more grief from the Chinese consul and I definitely don't need it from you! Please tell me I did not just say all that in front of your parents!

Brenda

There's a female investigator working for an intelligence agency who was in a relationship who you seduced into coming to Los Angeles on a regular basis. It all sounds so familiar, and yet I'm surprised.

Pope

Do you want to talk about this...in detail?

Brenda

Just drop it.

Pope

Because we can.

Brenda

Drop it, I said. And tell me what else you know about the victim that can help me.

Pope

Maggie was honest. Except about me with her husband, she was an honest person. She was a relentless investigator. She believed in what she was doing. Her personal life may have been a bit of a mess, but she was extremely professional. And she was stubborn when she was right, which she almost always was.

Brenda

Thanks.

Fritz

Brenda, is something wrong?

Brenda

This is ridiculous.

Fritz

Our real estate agent said it would help sell the house, give it a "home for the holidays" vibe. And we both know Gary doesn't lie.

Brenda

[scoffs] Gary. He hasn't brought us an offer in three months, suddenly he calls out of the blue and we're supposed to hop to? Because he's got "the buyer", again?

Fritz

Brenda, if you don't wanna show the house, just say so.

Brenda

I want to show the house, I just don't wanna waste the day decorating it for one couple!

Fritz

Is it really so terrible to have the house feeling a little festive?

Brenda

I do not like it when I am ordered to be festive!

Fritz

Apparently you put the house on the market.

Brenda

Well, you have to do that to sell it, apparently. Where we'll go after that, I have no idea, since we haven't been able to find the thing we're looking for and honestly the idea of strangers walking around my stuff bothers the living daylights out of me. And I thought that I said we would wait and sell this place after we found something else and were moved out, but I guess that's not what I said.

Fritz

I'm sorry we fought. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the drinking, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said all that about you.

Brenda

No, no. I'm not always straightforward. You were right about that. I don't always know what to say, so I say the thing I know the other person wants to hear.

Fritz

It's an occupational hazard.

Brenda

And I miss chocolate so much.

Brenda

You know, I should have the authority to reject journalists if I think that they're going to get in the way my investigation.

Pope

Authority? What about my authority. I get orders, too, okay? Mine were absolutely clear in this case: improve relations between the LAPD and the media. That is what I am doing. Commander Taylor is assisting me and I expect your enthusiastic cooperation.

Brenda

[looks away in frustration] Fine, Will. Whatever you want.

Pope

Besides, it's a big story. I'd rather have him reporting it from inside than guessing from out on the street. He might even prove to be an asset of some --

Brenda

[sarcastically] Yes, journalists, they're so helpful we'll want them on every case.

Pope

I take it this is your attempt at enthusiasm?

Brenda

I'm sorry. I meant to say yippee!

Brenda

You can't leave the curtains open! Someone is going to see Kitty and then there's going to be big, big trouble.

Fritz

We can't meet the upstairs neighbor because the landlord said no pets. We have to keep the curtains closed 24 hours a day because the landlord said no pets. It's like living with Anne Frank.

Brenda

[Lt. Tao uncovers a dead body] Oh! What is that smell?!

Tao

Margaritas! One is never enough, two is too many, and twelve? Well, you're looking at twelve.

Brenda

Anything useful come out of Commander Taylor's press release?

Daniels

Four calls saying 'It is a good day', a guy called and said that he killed Roy Wilkinson, though he claimed he shot him, an insurance agency, a couple of ambulance-chasing lawyers, and thirteen people reporting reckless drivers.

Provenza

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Pope

I just told Commander Taylor to arrange a press conference for first thing in the morning; let the world know the Mayhans had nothing to do with this.

Brenda

Uh, if you don't mind, I think Lieutenant Flynn should handle this one.

Pope

Yeah, okay.

Brenda

Thanks.

Flynn

Hey, Chief? Thank you.

Taylor

Anthony Lambert, Tim Zwick and Daniel Zcebrowski all insist that on the night of the rape they were at the movies, and on the night of the murder they were driving around Hollywood.

Daniels

And they said Darrin was with them on both occasions.

Brenda

That's funny, Mark Yates told me on the night Michelle died Darrin was with him. I worry when a suspect has extra alibis.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. I want an attorney for my son.

Brenda

Your son is eighteen, sir, and legally recognized as an adult. He has been read his rights and waived his right to an attorney.

I demand an attorney for my son or that I'm allowed back in there before any further questioning!!

Brenda

You may not be aware of this: the constitution gives you the right to an attorney, not to a father.

Fritz

I've got to tell you, Brenda, I am so sick of this double standard.

Brenda

What double standard?

Fritz

You sent me on a needless and very expensive stakeout, you undermined three years of hard work, and if I had done anything remotely similar to that, if I had screwed with your case, my God, you would have changed the locks on the doors. I would have been so far out of line, but here is the difference: I would know it and I would try to correct it somehow.

Brenda

Now wait a minute! Just hold on! I never lied to you. I gave you exactly what you asked for. Exactly! Now, I'm sorry. I should have called you when we took Dean into custody, so I apologize for that.

Fritz

That. That's what you're sorry for?

Brenda

Yes.

Fritz

Really. That's it? Apology not accepted. [turns and walks away]

Brenda

[chases after Fritz until he stops] Now, wait a minute! All I did -- all I did was try to get the justice system to work for my victim! That is all I did!

Fritz

That is bullshit! You didn't do it for the justice system! You didn't do it for the victim! You did it to close your case! That's it! It's obviously the most important thing to you. It's clearly not me, and you know, maybe that's fine, but Brenda for once in your life be honest with yourself!!

Fritz

You want to call off the critical missing?

Pope

This kid, Sergei, has an extensive juvenile record and a history of running away. It appears that his father punished him, not unjustly, and the boy ran off in the middle of the night.

Brenda

If we investigated everything based on appearances we'd have a whole lot less to do.