Brenda Leigh Johnson quotes from The Closer

Brenda

We are asking for minimal cooperation.

Howard Pierce

And I am telling you that these doctors records are protected and they will remain confidential. [to Pope] And let me give you a word of warning, sir, that the legal principles at stake in this case are more important than you seem to imagine. Now I urge you to think very carefully about what you do next.

Pope

[dials a phone number] Martha, get me Martin Garnett, please. Thank you. [hangs up] Garnett is the deputy district attorney. I'm going to ask him to get a grand jury to issue subpoenas for everything related to the Langer case. Just to satisfy my own stupid, uninformed curiosity.

Now, some ground rules for this next deposition: first rule, don't do their jobs for them; keep your answers short and simple, don't guess, don't argue.

Brenda

Mr. Blandard, are you honestly telling me how to conduct myself in an interview?

Ms. Johnson, you're about to enter a room where you don't get to ask the questions.

We're here to talk about family and the threat posed to family when the father isn't up to the job. Ms. Johnson, since you have arrived in Los Angeles, you and Will Pope have worked very closely together. Long days, sometimes long nights, weekends, how much time does Mr. Pope actually have to spend with his children when it's really you he's spending time with?

Objection.

On what grounds?

Your question is argumentative, harassing, and ends with a preposition. Kindly rephrase.

This is ridiculous, Tom --

Brenda

Chief Pope and I are not having an affair!

Excuse me, Ms. Johnson. Will you kindly refrain from speaking? Now, Barbara, if you're going to pursue this line of questioning I would remind you that Chief Pope didn't leave his first wife for Ms. Johnson. He left her for Estelle. And unlike the future ex-Mrs. Pope, whose infidelity brings us here in the first place, Ms. Johnson has never broken a vow of marriage. So any attempt by your client to besmirch Deputy Chief Johnson's reputation will be considered harassment and grounds for a very long, expensive, and embarrassing lawsuit. During which I will drag your client into court and we can examine Estelle Pope's adulterous behavior with vigorous attention to detail. [turns to the stenographer] Are you getting all this?

Now, some ground rules for this next deposition: first rule, don't do their jobs for them; keep your answers short and simple, don't guess, don't argue.

Brenda

Mr. Blandard, are you honestly telling me how to conduct myself in an interview?

Ms. Johnson, you're about to enter a room where you don't get to ask the questions.

We're here to talk about family and the threat posed to family when the father isn't up to the job. Ms. Johnson, since you have arrived in Los Angeles, you and Will Pope have worked very closely together. Long days, sometimes long nights, weekends, how much time does Mr. Pope actually have to spend with his children when it's really you he's spending time with?

Objection.

On what grounds?

Your question is argumentative, harassing, and ends with a preposition. Kindly rephrase.

This is ridiculous, Tom --

Brenda

Chief Pope and I are not having an affair!

Excuse me, Ms. Johnson. Will you kindly refrain from speaking? Now, Barbara, if you're going to pursue this line of questioning I would remind you that Chief Pope didn't leave his first wife for Ms. Johnson. He left her for Estelle. And unlike the future ex-Mrs. Pope, whose infidelity brings us here in the first place, Ms. Johnson has never broken a vow of marriage. So any attempt by your client to besmirch Deputy Chief Johnson's reputation will be considered harassment and grounds for a very long, expensive, and embarrassing lawsuit. During which I will drag your client into court and we can examine Estelle Pope's adulterous behavior with vigorous attention to detail. [turns to the stenographer] Are you getting all this?

Brenda

You know what else I think?

That stupid girl.

Brenda

The description Carl gave is probably that of Steven Brandt, who I believe drove you away from the QwikMart after the robberies, and once Carl gave that description to your defense attorneys, you thought that Steven might be scared into killing him. You were right. I wonder how Steven will feel when he knows that you have a description out? You can't trust anyone these days.

Go to hell. I want my lawyer!

Brenda

And especially you couldn't trust Carl, a fifteen year old boy who might fall to pieces on the witness stand if examined too closely. And if I were to find out that you had written all of that out for Kendall so she could help Carl make his testimony more believable? Why, that would be as good as a confession.

I said go to hell.

Brenda

You first!

Brenda

You know what else I think?

That stupid girl.

Brenda

The description Carl gave is probably that of Steven Brandt, who I believe drove you away from the QwikMart after the robberies, and once Carl gave that description to your defense attorneys, you thought that Steven might be scared into killing him. You were right. I wonder how Steven will feel when he knows that you have a description out? You can't trust anyone these days.

Go to hell. I want my lawyer!

Brenda

And especially you couldn't trust Carl, a fifteen year old boy who might fall to pieces on the witness stand if examined too closely. And if I were to find out that you had written all of that out for Kendall so she could help Carl make his testimony more believable? Why, that would be as good as a confession.

I said go to hell.

Brenda

You first!

Brenda

Oh, he's probably terrified.

Fritz

She. She's probably terrified.

Brenda

I don't see why I'm so upset, he's just a stupid cat.

Fritz

She. She's just a stupid cat.

Brenda

Bad kitty! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Look at you! You are a mess! What have you been doing?

Fritz

I know you're good at your job, honey, but I don't think Kitty's gonna answer you.

Brenda

Oh, he's probably terrified.

Fritz

She. She's probably terrified.

Brenda

I don't see why I'm so upset, he's just a stupid cat.

Fritz

She. She's just a stupid cat.

Brenda

Bad kitty! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! Look at you! You are a mess! What have you been doing?

Fritz

I know you're good at your job, honey, but I don't think Kitty's gonna answer you.

Pope

An old friend of ours would like to speak with you. You remember Andrew Schmidt.

Brenda

Andrew, what are you doing here?

Nice to see you again too, Brenda.

Brenda

Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, it's nice to see you, but --

What am I doing here? [to Pope] She was always very quick to get to the point, wasn't she. [to Brenda] And you don't seem to have aged at all.

Brenda

Neither have you, sir.

[to Pope] She's also one of the best liars I have ever known.

Pope

An old friend of ours would like to speak with you. You remember Andrew Schmidt.

Brenda

Andrew, what are you doing here?

Nice to see you again too, Brenda.

Brenda

Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, it's nice to see you, but --

What am I doing here? [to Pope] She was always very quick to get to the point, wasn't she. [to Brenda] And you don't seem to have aged at all.

Brenda

Neither have you, sir.

[to Pope] She's also one of the best liars I have ever known.