NNerd
Who are you?
TTyra
I'm Fat Girl.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Know what I'm sayin', Omega Moo?
[Cleveland shoots a hole in the ceiling, and then the ceiling cracks revealing Chris Griffin]
CChris
Hi, Cleveland!
Go back to Quahog!
CChris
Okay.
Ah, Stoolfest! That magical time of year when hobos and drug addicts are dressed up like clowns, and allowed to operate dangerous rides!
[about Jane] We tried to get her to stop hitting Holt and she beat the respective craps out of us.
She... beat up all of you?
Well, what were we supposed to do? We can't hit a girl.
Well, I understand. I never hit a girl, either. But I will smack the white off a bitch!
[she punches Jane]
Nobody hurts my man!
Did she agree to stay away from Holt?
Does it look like it, Boo-Boo?
I'm gonna go tell Jane to say good-bye to my little friend!
The Black guys love Scarface. They cannot stop talking about it.
I'm going to get even with that candy-ass son of a motherfucking bitch.
MOO.
Good evening. In an effort to keep with these, our ever-changing times, tonight's episode of The Cleveland Show is presented in 2-D. If you wear glasses due to near-sightedness or astigmatism, put them on....NOW.
[Lester's limo driving away with Tyne chasing them and the kids realize they missed their ride]
Aw, shit!
DRDan Rather
Hello, I'm Dan Rather, news veteran of 44 years, now reduced to co-hosting a local talk show. Just waiting to die, really. I stopped taking my heart pills this morning, so... any day now.
Don't worry, Daddy. I'm gonna feed you, and wash you and change you, just like you did when I was a baby.
CCleveland
Thank you, Junior. [whispers] Don't let him do any of those things to me, Donna!
Junior, can you give us some alone time?
Okay. I'll go down to pediatrics and look at the chicken people.
Smells like a Denny's in here, but without the old man stink.
You got that covered.
No, I smell like a middle-aged man: Propecia, hot wings, and night sweats from our adjustable-rate mortgage, now pass those eggs.
Uh-uh. Remember what Dr. Fist said about your cholesterol?
Yes, he said it was "appalling" and "life-threatening". Uh, pass the eggs.
This is your breakfast, Cleveland. The same breakfast you've been eating for the past two weeks.
More twigs?
Fiber Twigs-The cereal that lowers your cholesterol.
Aah! I got a splinter!
'Cause you got a mouthful of wood, like usual.
Huh? Oh.
[both Roberta and Cleveland laugh. Then Cleveland pushes Roberta and grabs her plate of food]
Heat rises, I smell nothing!
[Cleveland Jr. lifts him up]
AH! AAHHHHH!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Cleveland Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.