Principal Valenzuela quotes from The Casagrandes

What is going on here?!

Hey, Principal Valenzuela. So, funny story--

[sharply] My office, now! [Later in her office] Okay, start talking. Who started this and why?

They did!

[sighs] Fine. Then you're all going to be suspended!

[in unison] What?!

[in unison] Aw, man!

Does that mean I can't go to band practice? [starts to cry]

Wait, it was my fault! Don't suspend Alexis! Suspend me! I wanted him to fight. I thought if he stood up for himself, he wouldn't get picked on anymore.

It's not all Carl's fault. He was just trying to help me, and he's right. I do need to stand up for myself. I just have to do it in my own way. [to Ricky and Julius] I really don't like when you guys put weird things in my tuba. It's hard to clean, and it always sounds bad afterwards.

But I like the funny sounds. [Principal Valenzuela clears her throat as she seriously looks at both him and Julius; in unison] We're sorry.

[in unison] We won't do it again.

Great! So, now can we hug it out?

[in unison] Oh.

[in unison] What's a hug?

[sighs] Sure.

I like hugs!

Me too!

Since you used your words to resolve this, no suspension this time. Bravo, boys. [The four boys start leaving her office, to Alexis for a second] One last thing, Mr. Flores. Are the rumors true? Did you really revenge-poop on a pigeon? [whispers] All the teachers are dying to know.

[shrugs] Maybe, maybe not. [leaves]

[closes her office door] Sorry, ladies. I can't confirm or deny the rumors.

So you have no idea why Principal Valenzuela wanted to talk to us?

Maybe I'm getting an award for best smile in school.

Hmm.

[enters her office; pleasantly] Mr. and Mrs. Casagrande, [unpleasantly at Carl] Carl, unfortunately, this isn't good news.

So he didn't win best smile?

No, Alexis won that. He flosses between every class. Carl was caught tricking kids out of their pudding snacks!

[not seeing the problem as his padres look at him in annoyance] Come on. It was just one time with the pudding.

Just one time, huh? [transit to the hallway, opens up Carl's locker and pudding cups fall on him]

I'm sorry. I just love tricking people. Isn't that what you're always encouraging us do, Principal V, what we love?

That is not what I meant!

We're so sorry, Principal Valenzuela. We're going to take care of this immediately.

Carl, say you're sorry. (And stop eating the pudding!)

[licking out a pudding cup, not listening] From the bottom of my heart, Principal V. You know, I'm gonna go home and have a good long think about my actions.

Oh? Glad to hear it.

And since I'll be so busy thinking, I'll need to skip homework tonight.

Naturally.

Great. Mom, Dad, let's go.

[realizes] Wait, no homework?! CARL!

[getting a call from Principal Valenzuela] Hey, Principal Valenzuela. [Frida gasps in excitement to hear the upcoming news] Are you calling to tell us what a good job we did with Carl?

No! He's somehow worse than before! He tricked the teachers out of giving him tests for the rest of the year! He also keeps calling everyone pawns and saying "checkmate".

[gasps in horror] Carl's now using chess to trick people!

[starts to sob] Oh, no. I'm so sorry, Principal Valenzuela!

Actually, it's "Hall Monitor" Valenzuela. Carl tricked me out of my job. He's the principal now!

[comes out of the office] Hey, Valenzuela, quit dawdling. That hall's not gonna monitor itself.

[growls] Argh! FIX THIS!

Ooh. I've created a monster. [looks at the chess board and gets an idea] There's only one thing to do - we have to beat Carl at his own game.

Carlota, I'm here to tell you that you're missing a PE credit. You'll have to make it up, ASAP.

Oh, no, see, I don't love sports so, I took extra art classes. That should be enough credits, right?

[not buying it] I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. If you don't get that PE credit, you can't graduate.

[shocked] What?!

Good news is, there's still time to join a sport. [walks away] Have fun!

Worst day ever! First, it's Monday, and now I'm not gonna graduate?!

Ronnie Anne

What? Carlota, you just have to join a sport. Easy-peasy.

You don't understand, Ronnie Anne. Sports are really not my thing.

Ronnie Anne

Not yet. Maybe you just haven't found the right one. I can help with that.

Pfft, good luck. Wouldn't want her on my team.