They've paid rather a lot of money, haven't they?
It's a charity concert, Laura. People don't come to hear the music.
S2Mums and Dads
S2Safety First
Well, if you're the one prepared to go on the six o'clock news surrounded by bodies, having to admit to Kate Adie you didn't think a proper fire escape was necessary...
CDCouncillor Dapping
That's the risk I'll just have to take, Mr Brittas. I'll put your views to the committee, with my personal recommendation...that they take no notice whatsoever.
S2New Generations
You're eight and a half months pregnant and you haven't seen a doctor?
I suppose I...I hoped it would go away.
Could you give this to my husband? (hands her a note)
Yes, of course.
It's just to tell him it's fish cakes for supper and I'm pregnant.
You're what?!
Well, after today's events, I thought the news had rather lost its novelty value, but someone ought to tell him.
S3The Trial
Carole, can I have the solvent please?
It's no good, Mr Brittas.
Pardon?
She's in a trance. I think she's having another vision.
Well, do you think we could wake her up, Colin? I need the solvent.
I don't think that would be wise, Mr Brittas.
No, no, not more blood in here. Not in here, please!
Colin, the borough council employs Carole 'cause of her skills as a receptionist, not 'cause she claims to see into next week with an eye in the middle of her forehead. Wake her up, will you?
Mr Brittas?
What is it now?
You've got a telephone stuck to your ear, Mr Brittas.
I am aware of that, Colin!
One gun...white powder...£650,000...right, lost property forms!
S3That Creeping Feeling
We need something much more drastic!
TTim
Like what?
Like...like total no co-operation! Anything he wants done, just don't do it!
TTim
Well, you don't anyway, do you?
And while we're thinking these gentle positive thoughts, let's remember Dad, because he sometimes gets left out, doesn't he? Let's remember Jim, eh, Brenda? And hope his worries over redundancy and the fall-off in the motor trade prove unfounded. Let's remember Bob, shall we, Elaine? And we all hope you hear some news of him before too long.
S3Laura's Leaving
Where else but in a leisure centre can we draw together the troubled strands of our society? Where else will you find young and old, of every class and race, playing with each other on the gymnasium floor?
S3Two Little Boys
HHoratio
You know I get hecklers during my sermons? I've had godparents trying to throttle me against the font! Three weeks ago, someone fired a shotgun at me just while I was announcing a hymn!
We all have little setbacks, you know.
You can't judge a place by a couple of headlines in the national press.
S3Sex, Lies and Red Tape
He's promised not to speak for eight hours.
Eight hours? But how on earth will he do all his managing?
D'you know, it hasn't made as much different as you'd have thought?
S3The Stuff of Dreams
Everyone seems to know who I am.
Colin didn't recognise you.
Hardly reassuring from a man who's just dreamt he's an eagle with mange.
I wonder, could you have a quick word with young Linda for me, please.
Of course. Anything in particular?
I need her to unlock the stationery cupboard. I need to get my clothes out.
Can't you ask her?
I have, several times, but she refuses to come out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brittas Empire pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.