So, our problem is that shortly we will have some 800 people rehearsing hymns in our gymnasium, all of whom will want to use the resources of this leisure centre. And our job is to make sure they don't.
S5The Old, Old Story
CDCouncillor Drugget
Next time he shouts "Oi, you", I shan't waste any time thinking, "What's he on about now?" I shall simply step back before the scaffolding pole lands on my foot.
S5Brussels Calling
You've tryed to kill a teacher?
I wasn't trying to kill him, Laura, my foot slipped!
Monsieur le President, Monseigneur, mesdames, messieurs, fellow Europeans. J'ai un rêve, un rêve qu'un jour tout le monde sera...as one.
S5The Lies Have It
On seeing a potential hazard, we think about it, don't we? We identify the problems. Then we tell the rest of the team. "Think, Identify, Tell".
TTim
TIT!
I'm sorry, Tim?
TTim
I said "tit", Mr Brittas.
It's a mnemonic, Mr Brittas.
S5Pregnant!
(beaming) Me? Pregnant?
No question of doubt. It's down here in black and white.
Oh, I don't mind what colour it is, as long as it's a baby!
Timothy, you're a woman, aren't you?
TTim
(pauses) I'm a what?
I have the lab report on your sample, Tim. By the way, you're also pregnant.
S5UXB
I can't see him till 10, can I?
Why not?
It takes half an hour for the pills to work!
If you remember, Mr Brittas, you told the ambulance men to come round to the back in future. You thought it was better for morale.
S5The Last Day
I am speaking to you from my office on the first floor, on a matter of grave importance. As you know, I was recently appointed Commissioner for Sport and representative of Her Britannic Majesty in the European Union. What you may not know is that for some days, I have been in dispute with the German delegation, concerning the extent of their contribution, and it was to this end that I delivered yesterday an ultimatum to the Germans, that if I did not have an official assurance by 12 noon today, a spirit of friendship and co-operation would no longer exist between us, making me unable to accept my new position. I have to tell you now that no such assurance has been received, and therefore I am standing down as Commissioner for Sport.
S5Christmas Special: In the Beginning
Laura, how's the lorry driver?
Yeah, I gave him your message about staying, Mr Brittas, but he said he'd rather take his chances in the snow.
Why can't we use the canteen?
If you remember, Julie, the canteen was sealed by the police until after the inquests.
If there's food in there...
I spoke to one of the forensic scientists, Gavin. You wouldn't want to touch it.
Every time I walk into a room, a fight seems to break out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brittas Empire pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.