Julie quotes from The Brittas Empire

Julie

Put you in a pair of shorts, and we'd be all set for a game of Subbuteo!

Julie

I'm busy!

Helen

He's dead.

Julie

I thought he was in Bulgaria.

Helen

Yes, he's dead in Bulgaria.

Julie

We need something much more drastic!

Like what?

Julie

Like...like total no co-operation! Anything he wants done, just don't do it!

Well, you don't anyway, do you?

Julie

Why can't we use the canteen?

If you remember, Julie, the canteen was sealed by the police until after the inquests.

If there's food in there...

Laura

I spoke to one of the forensic scientists, Gavin. You wouldn't want to touch it.

Julie

Got them old maps you wanted.

Eeeeeexcellent.

Julie

And Brussels phoned to see how you're getting on with your "Walks for Health." Apparently, they're getting a very good response from leisure centres throughout Europe.

Good.

Julie

There's mad buggers wandering all over the place! And the Germans have already marched through Poland.

Yes, alright, Julie, that's a commentary on walk number 38.

Julie

More? I'm gonna induce myself banging away on that keyboard all day, every day.

Er, Julie...

Julie

What?

Send a copy to the liaison office at the Ramblers Association, I'm keeping them au fait with the developments...

Julie

Yeah, yeah... (exits the office)

I have just broken the news to Gavin's parents over the phone, and needless to say, they were very distressed.

Julie

Especially when you reversed the charges.

Julie

So, what're you going to do if the press get hold of this? You know how they made a mountain out of a molehill when the centre burned down.

All part of handling our friends in the media, Julie. (picks up the phone and dials) Nip it in the bud with some swift positive action...Hello, Whitbury Evening News? News desk, please...Hello, Gordon Brittas, manager of Whitbury Leisure Centre. I'd just like to quell any rumours you might have heard about there being an outbreak of contagious disease here at the leisure centre. Oh, and by the way, it's definitely not bobular fever.

Julie

You don't need to put fish on the Ark. They can stay in the sea.

Colin

Eh?

Julie

Well, what's a flood to a fish? It's more room to swim around in.

Colin

Julie, you have a brain! I can see why that young man of yours wants to marry you.

I'm afraid Carole is having some sort of nervous collapse. She's to have counselling sessions with Mrs Brittas.

Julie

Isn't that a bit like taking coals to Newcastle?