Cindy Brady quotes from The Brady Bunch

Strain a guppy out of his fish tank?

Tattletale!

All right, that's enough.

Cindy

But I didn't do anything wrong. Peter stained the guppy.

All right, what Peter did was wrong and what you did was wrong, too. You know that's none of your business. Your tattling is not right and could get other people into trouble.

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I'm not lending everything to a snitcher!

Cindy

I'm not a snitcher. I just tell it like it is.

Well I'm not lending you my skate key after the way you squealed on Greg and Peter!

Cindy

Okay, I'll tell what you did yesterday.

You little fink!

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[Carol, Alice and Cindy are looking after Bobby]

[brings another pillow to rest Bobby's leg] If you ask me, I think it's a miracle.

Yes, that he only sprained his ankle.

No, I meant that it's a miracle that you have a doctor that makes house calls.

Cindy

He didn't even ask Bobby to stick out his tongue and say "Ah".

Well, that's just when you sprain the tonsil. Come on, Florence Nightingale, you can help me in the kitchen, making hospital corners on the napkins.

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Well, we have five suspects and five confessions.

Correction. Six suspects. And #6 is looking forward to an overnight camping trip this Saturday.

By Jove, Holmes, you’ve deduced that young Peter Brady did it.

Elementary, my dear Watson, the five who confessed are covering up for the sixth who didn’t.

Right. And if Peter is guilty, then the other kids are accessories to the crime.

Well, what are we gonna do about it, Mike?

Why not we play along with their little game and punish everybody who confessed?

[gasps] What? And allow Peter to get away with it?

Honey, Peter is not going to get away with it. His conscience is not going to let him.

[The scene cuts to the living room]

Does anybody know why Dad called this meeting?

I do. He's gonna tell everybody I broke the vase. I confessed.

Oh, no.

Well, somebody had to take the blame.

I told Mom I did it.

Me too.

Thud.

[Jan collapses on the chair.]

You too?

[Jan nods.]

Cindy

I guess we all confessed.

I didn’t.

You didn’t.

[angry] I wanted to in the first place! But you guys drained up this whole thing!

Peter’s right. We’re as much to blame for this as he is.

[Jan hears Mike and Carol come in.]

Shh! Here they come.

Cindy

I think we’re all gonna get it now.

[Mike and Carol enter]

One of you broke your mother's vase. But five of you claimed that you did it.

There seems to be a slight communication gap in this family.

Look! No matter who broke it, the others of you who confessed are just as guilty for hiding the truth. And I’m afraid you’re all going to have to be punished.

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[Peter, Jan and Cindy are practising "The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond" for the glee club]

Cindy

By yon bonnie banks

PJPeter, Jan

And by yon bonnie braes

[Bobby's drum solo chimes in]

PJPeter, Jan, Cindy

Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond

Cindy

How are we supposed to practice?

You can hear these drums all the way to Loch Lomond.

Right now I wish Bobby was in the glee club.

I wish he was in Loch Lomond.

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One line. It's different with me. I'm a star.

[to Marcia] Well lah-de-dah!

Cindy

What does that mean?

It means that Marcia's being a pain in the neck.

Cindy

Oh, [to Marcia] well lah-de-dah!

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You did!

Cindy

I didn't!

You did too!

Cindy

I did not!

Hey, what are you two arguing about?

Well, you might wanna know, she told everyone else. I got called into the principal's office for chewing gum in class!

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[Marcia and Jan are re-painting a chair. Cindy wants to help.]

No Cindy! It is too hard for you!

Cindy

But why can't I help!? The chair, it goes in my room too!

Look Cindy! This isn't a game! If you mess up the paint, we are going to have to do it all over again!

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Mom, dad, it works! Stretching myself really works! I grew an inch and a half!

How much?

A whole inch and a half!

Oh, honey, maybe you grew, but I don't think an inch and a half.

Not since yesterday.

But I measured myself three times! A half inch, plus one whole inch!

Cindy

No, it's only a half an inch!

How do you know it's only half an inch?

Cindy

Well...

Yeah, how do you know, Cindy?

Cindy

I made the mark a half inch lower, so that Bobby would think he grew!

Cindy!

Cindy

I'm sorry!

Well, that's okay, I still grew an inch!

No, only half an inch.

You did the same thing too? [Jan nods]

Well, a half inch isn't bad.

Bobby.

Oh, no.

I guess we should have checked with each other.

That's the dirtiest trick I've ever heard of!

[Bobby runs off.]

Bobby. They weren't trying to trick you. I don't think that what they did was right —

They were only trying to help.

They did it because they know it's true!

Now what's true?

I'm a shrimpo, a peewee, I'll never grow another inch as long as I live! [runs up the stairs]

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[Jan is mad at her siblings]

If I were an only child, I wouldn't have any phony brothers and sisters! Who needs you?!

You mean that, Jan?

You're right, I sure do!

Well, if that's what you want, I'm sure it can be arranged. Right, you guys? [Marcia, Peter, Bobby and Cindy agree]

You just lost yourself five brothers and sisters!

And you can have the whole house to yourself.

Great!

Cindy

For us, too!

As far as you're concerned, we don't even exist.

Yeah, we're not even here!

Consider us invisible! Come on, gang, let's disappear. [Everybody but Jan leaves]

[The boys return]

What are we leaving for?

Yeah, this is our room!

[Jan leaves, Greg slams the door after her]

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[Bobby, as the new school hall monitor, had reported Cindy for an infraction and she's angry with him]

Cindy

[Takes a slice of cheese from the fridge and throws it on Bobby's plate] Here!

What's the cheese for?

Cindy

For you! All rats eat cheese! [leaves angrily]

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[Cindy is explaining her predicament to Carol]

Cindy

And he wrote down the names, even mine!

But that's his job, sweetheart.

Cindy

Yes, but I'm his very own sister!

Well, that doesn't give you any special privileges. The same rules apply to you that apply to anyone else.

Cindy

[angrily] I don't see why they should.

Let me see... I'll try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that Bobby was a policeman, and I drove through a red light. Accidentally, of course. Well, I would expect him to give me a ticket.

Cindy

Your own son?

Absolutely.

Cindy

Boy, if I ever had a son who was a policeman and he gave me a ticket, I'd give him a spanking!

[Bobby comes in, Cindy leaves angrily]

I guess she was complaining about me.

You guessed right.

And I guess you took her side.

You guessed wrong.

You didn't?

No. Well, Cindy didn't like it, but you were just doing your duty.

[Bobby leaves]

I wonder if he really would give me a ticket.

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And I found...!

[She looks in the washing machine, finds the second earring, and finds it broken.]

...well, what was left of the other one.

Oh no!

At least the mystery is solved.

Well, Carol? You are just going to have to go without them. Come on, honey, we better get going.

Cindy

Mom, I promise I’ll never take anything again (that doesn't belong to me) when I’m not supposed to.

All right, Cindy. But you and I are going to have a very long talk about this tomorrow.

[True to what Carol tells Cindy, Cindy is off the hook for one night. But in the morning, she --Cindy-- is going to have a long talk about this with Carol. That is, and Carol lets Cindy know she --Cindy-- is in some serious trouble.]

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[Cindy tries to talk her siblings and Alice into appearing in a fundraiser play of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"]

Me play one of the seven dwarfs?

Cindy

You liked Mrs. Whitfield, didn't you?

Sure, she was my favorite teacher. She was Marcia's favorite teacher too. I think she was even Mom's favorite teacher.

Cindy

Boy, she's been teaching since the older days.

You better not say that around Mom.

Cindy

Well, will you help me with the play?

Sure. If I can be Dopey.

Cindy

Well, you can't be Dopey.

Why not?

Cindy

I'm saving that part for someone special.

Who?

Cindy

Me.

[Cut to bathroom, knock on the door]

Come in.

Cindy

Marcia, how about —

Sure, Cindy. Anything for good old Mrs. Whitfield.

Cindy

Oh, thanks!

Except, I want to play Dopey instead of you.

Cindy

How did you know I wanted to play Dopey?

Thin walls.

[Cindy leaves]

[Cut to Greg's room, Cindy knocks on the door]

Come in.

Cindy

Gee, Greg, this room in the attic sure is neat. I love the way you fixed it up, and Alice —

Cindy, you don't have to butter me up. I'd be glad to help out Mrs. Whitfield.

Cindy

Thanks!

But I want to play Dopey instead of you.

Cindy

How did you know I wanted to play Dopey?

Thin floors.

[Cut to boys' room, Cindy knocks on the door]

Sure, Cindy, anything for Mrs. Whitfield. As long as I get to play Dopey.

That goes for me too, but I want to play Dopey.

Well, you can't be Dopey.

Yes, I can. [door closes]

Cindy

"Snow White and the Seven Dopeys"?

[Cut to kitchen]

Cindy

Alice, how would you like a nice, big, juicy part in my play?

I'd love to! Can I play Dopey?

Cindy

That part's already taken, six times.

What have you got left?

Cindy

How about the wicked queen?

You got yourself a deal. If I can't be a wacky dwarf, I'll be a wicked queen. [imitates evil laughter]

Cindy

That was good. Thanks, Alice!