Cindy Brady quotes from The Brady Bunch

Cindy

[as she picks off flower petals] Eenie, Meenie, Mommy, Daddy.

Cindy

You cheated.

Bobby

I did not. And besides: You didn’t see me.

Cindy

I did too!

Greg

Come on, Bobby, you can tell us.

Bobby

What?

Peter

Where did you hide Cindy's doll?

Bobby

I didn't hide it, like I told Mom.

Peter

Honest?

Bobby

Honest.

Greg

Would you swear to it? The sacred oath?

Bobby

Even the sacred oath.

Peter

Boy, that proves he didn't take it. No sir!

Marcia

Are you sure Bobby took her?

Cindy

Sure I am, he said he hated Kitty!

Jan

I heard him say it lots of times.

Cindy

[crying] And she doesn't even have her bottle, she'll starve to death!

Marcia

Come on. [takes Cindy's hand]

Cindy

Where are we going?

Marcia

We're gonna get that doll back.

Jan

Yeah. [They leave for boys' room]

Peter

If Bobby didn't take it, Cindy shouldn't say he did.

Greg

Right. Come on, she can't accuse him and get away with it. [They leave for girls' room]

Marcia

Bobby, you give Kitty back or... [they realize room is empty]

Greg

Now listen here, Cindy, you... [they realize room is empty, Greg turns towards the open bathroom door] Come on.

Marcia

Bobby, you give Kitty back!

Greg

You stop picking on him!

Jan

What did you do with her?

Peter

He didn't do anything with her!

Cindy

He did too!

Bobby

I did not!

Marcia

You did so!

Greg

He did not so!

Marcia

Oh yeah?

Greg

Yeah!

Mike

Hey, hey, hey, what's going on in here?

Mike

Hold it! Will somebody fill me in?

Carol

Well, Cindy's doll is missing, and the girls think Bobby took it.

Mike

Well, Bobby?

Bobby

I didn't take it!

Marcia

He did too!

Greg

He did not!

Mike

CUT!

Bobby

Circum-special?

Mike

No, circumstantial. It means things look different than they really are.

Cindy

You mean like when a lady puts on false eyelashes?

Marcia

But mother, us on a camping trip? We've told you it's way worse than death!

Jan

Do you expect me to sleep in a tent?

Cindy

With wild animals?

Carol

Girls, we're not going to Africa. We're just going camping.

Marcia

And camping is for boys!

Carol

Camping is for boys and girls. Why, it's so much fun falling asleep on the ground.

Jan

On the ground, all those beetles are crawling around. Yuck!

Cindy

Yeah, yuck!

Carol

Why, you haven't got the faintest idea how delightful it is out there under the stars, being lulled to sleep by the sound of crickets, and then awakening in the morning to the smell of bacon frying over an open fire.

Marcia

How many times have you been camping, Mom?

Carol

Well, never, but I've heard about it.

Jan

And I've heard about it, too, and you can count me out. [collapses on the bed]

Carol

You are counted in, young lady. We have three new brothers and a new father, and if they like camping, we like camping. Now, there'll be no more discussion about it; the decision has been made.

Mike

[to the kids] All right! We all know that in the past, the telephone problem has been absolutely impossible!

Cindy

It has not bothered me.

Bobby

Me neither.

Mike

[turns to Bobby and Cindy] Oh yeah? Well, it has bothered me. And it has bothered our household budget. [then to the rest of the kids] Fortunately, I have the solution to the problem and here it is.

Mike

[cheering] TA-DA!

Carol

That looks like a pay telephone.

Mike

That is a pay telephone.

Carol

Honey, that looks like a real payphone.

Mike

Precisely. Didn’t you notice the other one is gone, the other phone?

Carol

Hey, it is gone.

Greg

I don’t dig.

Marcia

What’s the point?

Mike

The point is, this payphone is for all you kids. And the household budget stops taking a beating. From now on, you are given an addition to your allowance for two calls per day. After that, those calls you make is then deducted from your allowance.

Peter

Did you say, two calls a day?

Mike

[turns to Peter] That’s right, Peter. The rest then comes out of your allowance.

Jan

Two calls?! But I average at least ten!

Mike

[turns to Jan] Well, there goes your allowance.

Mike

This payphone should teach you kids not to monopolize the phone. And you have to be especially careful about toll calls.

Mike

[to Carol] Did you know that every call you make to Martha is a toll call?

Carol

[laughs] Well, you don’t expect me to use that thing.

Mike

Very good, you can use my phone in the den.

Carol

[sarcastically] Oh, thanks a lot.

Mike

You’re welcome.

Peter

Two calls? Even when you’re arrested you get to make one call.

Jan

And that you make to your lawyer.

Greg

Come on, let’s tell them how we feel.

Marcia

We don't want a payphone! You can't lie on the floor and talk!

Mike

That should make your calls shorter, won't it?

Greg

Suppose we promise to be more careful.

Mike

[to Greg] Sorry, son. We've tried discussion, we've tried egg timers, we've even tried threats. Nothing worked.

Carol

You're right, Greg.

Mike

Now you use the pay phone.

Marcia

But Dad...!

Mike

[to Marcia] Sorry, Marcia. But maybe this is going to solve the problem. [turns to all the rest of the kids.] DISMISSED!

Bobby

Greg might probably beat her anyway!

Cindy

You say that once more and I'm going to bop you!

Cindy

Marcia! Will you please tell Bobby to stop it?

Marcia

Listen, Cindy. You promised you would stay in the boys' room with Bobby and color.

Bobby

That is what we are doing! We are coloring!

Cindy

I'm coloring a tiger and Bobby's coloring a giraffe. And now Bobby wants to color me!

Jan

You?

Cindy

He wants to color my spots!

Bobby

I thought they would look better in green.

Greg

Go back and color your coloring books. And Bobby? Her spots would look rotten in green.

Bobby

Hey, how about blue? I am going to make her spots blue.

Cindy

I like them red, like they are!

Cindy

Me first!

Bobby

Why you?

Cindy

'Cause I'm a lady!

Bobby

Aaaawwhhhh.

Cindy

I am a lady, if you say I'm not, I'll bop you!

Mike

While Alice is grounded, you are all going to assume the job of running this house. And that is starting tomorrow and right after school.

Greg

But Dad, our team has practice work outs! So we can stay in shape for the next game!

Mike

I guarantee your coach you will be in shape.

Marcia

What about my music lessons?!

Mike

You can hum a lot while you work.

Jan

No dance class?!

Mike

That's right. No dance class.

Peter

Dad? Would you believe that I would spend every afternoon studying at the library?

Mike

[laughs] Yeah, that's a great try, Peter. And I would like to believe that. But it would boggle my mind. Anyone else?

Bobby

I give up.

Cindy

Me too.

Mike

Good. Now that we understand each other, hit the sack! Starting with breakfast tomorrow, we get to work!

Marcia

[about her braces] Tell me the honest truth. Do I look funny?

Cindy

Of course not, Marcia. You look beautiful.

Jan

Thanks, Cindy!

Cindy

But how do you get the toothpaste through all that barbed wire?

Jan

[when Cindy is about to go into the bathroom] Marcia's in there.

Cindy

Daddy said to act natural — and I always barge in on Marcia when she's in the bathroom!

Carol

[she thinks Cindy has a cold] Cindy? Are you coming down with the sniffles?

Cindy

If I am, I do not want Greg or Marcia blowing on my nose. I can do it myself.

Cindy

[in a fake-friendly tone] Want a piece of licorice?

Bobby

Yeah!

Cindy

[in mean voice] I BET YOU DO! (AND YOU GET ONLY ONE BITE!)

Baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk.

Cindy

You stop that, Buddy Hinton!

Stop that! Oh witty bitty baby talk. There is no witty bitty baby talk, say something. Come on, say something.

Peter

[witnesses it and intervenes] Cut that out, Buddy!

Baby, baby, what did you say?

Peter

Quit teasing my sister!