The Batman (2004) · Season 4
Is there a reason why this costume has to be so... colorful?
Because when I see you up there, Richard, you make me think of a little robin.
[embarrassed] Ugh! A robin? Like the bird? You know, kids my age get beat up for nicknames like that.
How about if we call you our Flying Squirrel? Better?
[smiling] You know, Dad, I'm not the only one who looks like a loser.
Loser? I'll teach you...!
[All three embrace, laughing]
You're the Batman, the Dark Knight, the World's Greatest Detective! That's you!
And it's in large part why you haven't seen a lot of me lately. I don't want your childhood to be consumed by revenge... like mine was.
Listen, mothball. There's only room for one "killer" here - that's Killer Croc.
Nice wings. Granny make 'em?
Now, now, give the man a chance. What are your special talents? Attraction to bright lights? Eating holes in sweaters?
Listen, I can help you guys! I got a lot of skills!
Do enlighten us, Moth.
Well, I got stealth skills, code-breaking skills, karate skills, cocooning skills...
[He tries to demonstrate a silk-shooting gun, only to have it backfire into his face]
[holds up a mug] What about coffee-making skills? I take mine black, two lumps.
Bats sure went out with a bang!
Yeah, we always think that.
It doesn't matter. We kicked those Bat-butts once, we can do it again! Tonight proved it! Team Penguin is unstoppable!
How about "Villains United"?
How about you shut up?
Okay, we've seen enough. I'm afraid you just don't have the right look.
What is it now? My nose? Last time, my ears were too big. Before that, I was too short! What do I gotta do to get a stinking part?!
Maybe you should think about acting classes?
Acting classes? Ha! You wouldn't know a good actor if you tripped over one. One day, everyone in Gotham will know this face!
The suspect ingested a highly concentrated form of the Clayface formula Ethan was exposed to.
I don't get it. Why would anyone willingly down a dangerous toxin?
There are a lot of troubled people out there, Dick. Once we find our man, we'll find our answer.
[The Bat-computer identifies Karlo]
We have a match: Basil Karlo. He's an actor. That is, if starring in Revenge of the Atomic Clone qualifies as acting.
[The computer plays a clip from a science fiction B-movie, with Karlo giving a hammy performance as a mad scientist]
Twenty years ago, I was thrown out of the university for crimes against nature. Why?! Because of my work to create a race of bio-genetic supermen!
[dryly] Can't understand why he hasn't worked in over ten years.
[smirking] We are so watching that movie!
[after Ethan and Karlo are cured from their Clayface transformations] Welcome back, Ethan.
Be careful what you say in front of him, Robin. Strange may be a madman, but he's also a brilliant psychiatrist. If he finds an opening, he'll mess with your head.
I was this close to hurting all the people I tried to protect, Alfred. What if I'm not as lucky next time?
If you'll forgive my saying so, luck had nothing to do with it. Even under a madman's influence, and believing himself to be alone, the Batman fought his way to the truth. That's who he is. It's who you are.
Sit this one out. I can handle Freeze. Maybe it's time to pass the torch?
I'll pass the torch when the mission's over.
We both know the mission will never be over.
[weakly] The cryo-chamer... cold enough to put me on ice... till someone wakes me up, and puts me back together... in a future without the Batman...
Pop psychology at its worst! The girl's [Harleen Quinzel] theories are unfounded! Her professional manner's a joke and training, if ANY, is shoddy at best! I LOVE this show! The girl's more screw-loose than me!
[During commercial break, Harleen runs off the stage before getting ready for the next part of the show. On the way, she runs into someone...]
Ooh, Jimmy Herbert! Network bigwig! What brings you to the set today? Let me guess, in search of fashion advice?
Speaking of advice, what kind are you giving these people?
Are you questioning me? Everyone who has an online degree in psychology please raise your hand. [Harleen raises her own hand but Jimmy is not impressed] Oh, okay, then how about we let the professionals do their job, alright hon?
This show is supposed to help people. You've turned it into a circus!
I know! And if you want to talk circus, wait until you see my Valentine's Day special!
Look, there won't be a Valentine's day special if you keep this...[At this point, one of the stage managers alerts Harleen that it is time to resume the show]
Oopsies, gotta get back! Laters, though.
1 second became 5 seconds, then 10, then 20. I wanted to go back 20 years before any of this happened, but all I got was 20 seconds. I can't get my time back, but I can punish the city for taking it.
You and me, work together? I'm into riddles, not jokes. Besides, I've ruined Gorman, and that's as good a note as any to go out on.
Then you're sure it was Gorman who sabotaged you?
Even you, Batman, could have puzzled together a mystery this obvious.
Yeah, obvious. I guess I just figured with a riddle, the most obvious answer is rarely the right one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Batman (2004) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
