Hurkel quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Hurkel

[to Trey] You're a big and handsome stag, oh yes. But you're the first animal I've ever met that I didn't like. Is that unkind, do you think?

Trey

You've a mole on your head. How disgusting.

Hurkel

Fox here and his friends have brought a great gift to this park. Their ideals are quite unique, you know. I'm sure if Fox and I explained it all to you in the kindness that lurks deep within your more obvious brutality...

Hurkel

Greetings, friend. Have you seen my mole?

Plucky

He's asleep, on your head.

Hurkel

Oh, what a relief! I've been looking for him all morning. I thought the rats had got him. I know it's unkind, but I detest rats. I shouldn't, should I?

Plucky

Well, I suppose...

Spike

Hurkel, you're kind.

Hurkel

I'm very kind. Yes, yes. Have you seen my mole?

Spike

You'll forgive me, won't ya?

Hurkel

Yes, I-I suppose... What have you done?

Spike

What have I done? Oh, Bully and his rats attacked Toad, and I didn't help him! I just stood there! I don't think he'll live! You will forgive me, won't ya, Hurkel?

Hurkel

No, I won't forgive you.

Spike

You won't? But that's unkind!

Hurkel

I know, but I still won't forgive you.

Hurkel

Oh, what a beautiful morning. I've never seen a better one, not in all my days!

Shadow

Aye, Hurkel. It's mighty bonny.

Hurkel

It's-it's a Hurkelish morning. A morning to be Hurkelish on. I know, I'll do something extra-specially kind this morning!

Hurkel

I didn't say you were irritating.

Mossy

Yes, you did!

Hurkel

I just said I find it irritating when you eat worms while sitting on my back. That's not unreasonable, is it, Vixen?

Vixen

Well...

Mossy

You want me to starve, that's it! Has there ever been a more cruel badger?

Hurkel

But I'm kind!

Mossy

Are not!

Shadow

Are those two arguing again?

Vixen

I think so.

Mossy

He's cruel!

Hurkel

Oh... I'm very sorry.

Mossy

Say that you are an unkind, horrible, smelly badger!

Hurkel

Yes, alright, I am.

Mossy

I forgive you! [climbs on Hurkel's back]

Hurkel

Oh, moles...

Fox

[yawns] What about them?

Hurkel

[whispers] They're irritating.

Mossy

I heard that!

Measley

Can I be second-in-command?

Owl

No, that should be me!

Weasel

I should be. I'm the cleverest!

Hurkel

I think the kindest should be leader.