JMrs. Jötunheim
What have you done to my son?!
JMrs. Jötunheim
What's the one thing you know about giants?!
JMrs. Jötunheim
Yes, and so are their emotions! I wasn't making his life boring, I was making his life calm! You have to keep giants calm!
JMrs. Jötunheim
Because if you don't, then that happens!
[In the distance, Hector is attacking the town and causing destruction]
HHector
IS THIS BORING, OR THIS?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS BORING?! CALL ME BORING NOW! [Swipes down the Robinson's house] IS THIS BORING?!
[Margaret is in shock about the house]
[Reading newspaper] Close the window, Margaret.
[Hector squashes the police car]
Well, uhh, I think I'll-uh call it a day. [Runs off on foot]
[Hector approaches the senior citizens and yells]
HHector
I AM NOT BOOOORIIIINGGG!!!
[The senior citizens, except for Louie, are blown away]
[Back at Hector's Cave]
Gumball, what do we do? We have to stop him!
[Notices brooms in the cave] I got it! [Grabs a broom] We'll just fly after him using one of your witch brooms! [Attempts to "fly," but falls flat on his face]
JMrs. Jötunheim
That's a normal broomstick. I'm a cleaning lady.
[Face down on the ground] Oh.
JMrs. Jötunheim
[Takes off her hair clip] The witchy ones are over there.
(At school, Gumball has bags over his eyes, with Darwin watching worriedly)
...Dude, when was the last time you slept?
Don't even ask, man! Mom had me up at 4:00 in the morning, teaching me how to be a winner for that STUPID FRIDGE CHART!!
STUPID?! What's stupid about reaching for the stars?!
(A whistle blows.)
Dodgeball! (Hits Gumball) BOOM! One point! BOOM! Two points!
(Darwin continues throwing the ball at Gumball repeatedly.)
(At the lunchroom...)
See? There's nothing going on. They're just having lunch and chatting.
What do you think they're saying?
(Gumball's suddenly becomes possessed by jealousy, similar to a demon possessing a body)
GSGumball's Jealousy
(evilly) "So, how do you like my STUPID PINK PETALS and my FAT YELLOW FACE?" "Oh, I'm so pleased you like it." "I use it to STEAL GIRLS FROM PEOPLE!!!"
Gumball's jealous of Leslie.
GSGumball's Jealousy
BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO STEAL MY GIIIRRL!!!!!
(The possessed Gumball storms down the hall sprinting towards the lunchroom, much to Darwin and Carrie's shock)
Oh, look! A bench in the shade. (chuckles)
(The two sit on the bench and sigh vividly.)
You know, after today, I never thought you and me would become friends.
Well, I guess life is just full of...SURPRISE!!
(Gumball, possessed once again by Jealousy pulls a rope, dropping maggots all over Leslie.)
GSGumball's Jealousy
Oh, I see you've met my hungry little friends.
GSGumball's Jealousy
That's right - I glued you to the bench! (cackles) I guess we won't be...INSECT-ING you at school tomorrow! HAHAHA-- No, no, I can do better. (inhales) We'll see how pretty you look after this, LARVAE-BOY! HAHA-- No, still not good. (inhales) That'll teach you for being a...creepy-crawly--ah, you get the point.
(The possessed Gumball walks away, leaving Leslie screaming in anguish.)
HEY! Turn around, you cowards.
Turn around and face the can of butt-whooping that I'm gonna open on you!
Wouldn't it be better to stay like we are for that?
(Gumball and Darwin have a silent debate of whether or not to face the consequences. Their conversation goes on for a few seconds before....)
[Inhales] Okay. [He and Darwin turn around]
[Banana Joe screams as he charges towards Gumball and Darwin, but slips on a water puddle, rushes under them and hits a water fountain, face first. He groans as he slowly becomes unconscious and a bruise covers his face]
Oh, that's just great! Now, people are gonna come around the corner, see him like that, and think we're massive bullies!
(kneels down, crying) Which we are! Because of us, he lost an eye, and we attacked him with a mirror! We punctured his tube of glue, we chewed everything in his locker, he got a huge brown banana bruise on his little face, and we managed to ruin the most precious thing his family ever owned!
(They both cry in guilt)
He did chew that pen, though.
[Sighs] Darwin, we need to talk.
You know, I love you man.
But... I think you have a problem with that phone!
So I've arranged for your butt to be surgically grafted onto your face.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING!
OSOcho's Mom
Ow! Ocho, what are you doing? You're not fighting again, I hope.
OOcho
Oh gosh, did I get a little too intense again?
Psh! Nah. Totally normal level of intensity.
GDGumball and Darwin
Yeeah.
OOcho
[Gets angrier] Are you sure?!
Hoo! Yes. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.
OOcho
[Demonic voice] ARE YOU SURE?!!
Ye-e-e-es! Please go home now!
OSOcho's Mom
Oh, that's good. He can get a little carried away at times. Come on, Ocho! Dinner's ready.
OOcho
See you tomorrow guys!
[Ocho moves towards his mother, and a tractor beam pulls him up.]
OOcho
Can I sit in the front, Mom?
(The episode opens on Nicole, who is whimpering in her sleep in the front lawn. Anais touches her face to wake her up.)
Oh, I just had the weirdest dream. I was out on the front lawn and your father had a job as a pizza delivery guy.
(Offscreen, then shown in a delivery boy outfit) That wasn't a dream. That's what I just told you---and you fainted! (chuckles)
(Back at the house..)
Your father has a job. Your father has...a job.
(Anais is holding Nicole's hand to comfort her, but the woman suddenly jumps up to her.)
Something's gonna go terribly wrong, isn't it?!?
No, this is a good thing. We can finally buy all the things we need.
What do you mean? We got everything we need.
(picks up a family photo) Mom, we've all been wearing the same clothes for the past year, you three don't even have any shoes, (whispers) and I think it's about time Darwin wore some pants.
(Back at the house, Nicole is huddled in a blanket, hyperventilating while Anais sits beside her, comforting her.)
Mom, when you say "Dad having a job has upset the fundamental balance of the universe," are you sure you don't just mean he's changed the balance of power in the house, and that upsets you because you're a little bit of a control freak?
No. Maybe.... I don't know anymore!
(Gumball and Darwin enter the house)
Boys! What's going on with your father?! Has something terrible happened?!
Well, he dropped a few pizzas, so we delivered 'em. That's about it.
Maybe I should just forget about all this...
Anais, it's supposed to be Halloween, not "Sugar-Coated Marshmallow Syrup Day".
You know, that good stuff's got me thinking, what else is cheap in this house?
[Gumball, Darwin, and Anais walk into the living room]
I mean, look at this MP3 player. Now tell me it's not a calculator with headphones stuck in it. [Grabs a copy of "HOW TO RATATWANG YOUR PANDA"] And that DVD is not even the real film. It's some mockbuster from the bargain bin.
What's wrong with "How to Ratatwang Your Panda"?
[On the TV Screen, a section of the film plays, taking place in a dojo]
GCGood CGI Mouse
Get ready, panda, use your secret weapon.
CPChuck the Panda
Okay, you asked for it. [Does a massive fart in the other mice's face]
[Cuts back to the couch]
HAHAHAHAHA! HEHAHA! [Sighs] Clever.
And look at this "blender". You really call this top-of-the-line?
[Gumball turns on the blender, actually a fan blade above a bowl, and puts an orange in it, causing its juice to fly onto the ceiling]
Why can't we have the good stuff?
More importantly, what's mom hiding?
[The home phone rings, and Anais answers]
SVSpooky Voice
For your own safety, stop digging around. There's nothing to find.
Okay, but if we were going to start digging, where should we look?
SVSpooky Voice
Definitely not the attic. Ah! No, wait--! Oh, darn--.
[The voice hangs up as Anais cleverly laughs]
[Still whispering to Nigel Brown] Maybe you should say something.
NBNigel Brown
[Suddenly stops spitting] Yes, I suppose.
[Nigel Brown walks to Lucy Simian, and whispers something into her ear]
LSLucy Simian
[Gasps whilst pulling her dress down] You knew about this, and you thought it was funny, didn't you?!
[Gumball and Darwin simultaneously shake their heads]
LSLucy Simian
YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!
NBNigel Brown
Lucy, please. I think you owe them an apology.
LSLucy Simian
Don't you "Lucy" me, Nigel! These kids tried to make a monkey out of me, and you want me to apologize?!
NBNigel Brown
Uh, you kids are free to go.
[Gumball and Darwin leave]
[Lucy Simian goes "ape" and throws furniture around, while making monkey sounds. Gumball and Darwin listen to Lucy Simian's rampage outside Brown's office]
Hmm. There's one thing I don't understand.
Yeah, why did she go ape when we just tried to help her?
No, why do monkeys have hair all over their bodies, except for the ugly part where they need it the most?
Dude, I need you to grab the emergency hammer.
I'm not breaking the window.
No, I need you to knock me out.
How about you just ask Sussie to calm down a little?
[Whimpers again] I can't...
What the... [Pauses video game] You're embarrassed, aren't you?
[Laughs] Darwin Watterson, the fish who grew legs at the expense of his guts!
[Darwin squeezes his head back out]
SSussie
Which noise do you prefer? ALALALALALALALALALALALALA! or AKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!
[Sticks head on top of Sussie and Darwin's seat] Excuse me, Sussie, but can you be a little quieter, please?
SSussie
Certainly, young Gumball, I'd be more than happy to oblige!
[Gapes before sticking his head up and motions taking his hat off]
That was me, taking my hat off to you.
Was it...REALLY necessary...to take me over the sandbox?
I didn't want to do this, man, but it's the only way! You need to learn that words can hurt.
GVGame Voice
Round 1! Fight!
[charging a power blast] Your head is so big that you have to put your shirt on feet first! [Shoots energy balls at Gumball] Big head! Big head! Big head! Big head!
[Shoots an energy ball] Big head!
[Shoots an energy ball] Big head!
You keep using the same move!
[Shoots an energy ball] Big head!
[Gumball echoes and collapses]
GVGame Voice
Darwin wins! Perfect! Round Two! Fight!
You're so ugly that when you entered an ugly contest, the judges said "no professionals"! [Shoots an energy ball]
You're so dumb you put stamps on your e-mails! [Shoots an energy ball]
You're so short that your head smells like feet! [Shoots an energy ball]
Your brain's so small that your thoughts have an echo! [Shoots an energy ball]
Your cheeks are so big that people don't know which end of you they're looking at! [Shoots an energy ball]
[Camera cuts to reality, Tobias, Banana Joe, Anton and Bobert cheers looking unamazed while Gumball and Darwin are still pretending to be in the game]
Your face is so greasy that people put on weight when they look at you! [Shoots an "energy ball"]
TTobias​​​​​​​
Nyeh, it's not as good as I thought it'd be.
[Tobias, Banana Joe, Anton and Bobert leave, still making cheering motions. Camera cuts back to the game]
You're so bald that when you take a shower, you get brainwashed!
You're so-- Ah! I got nothing!
[Gumball shoots an energy ball that dazes Darwin. He immediately closes in for the finish.]
You're so chubby, the back of your head looks like a pack of wieners.
[Gumball takes Round 2 with a Street Fighter-esque uppercut move. He then performs a victory pose]
GVGame Voice
FINAL ROUND!
Wait a minute. Pause! [pauses the "game"]
CClayton
[Panicking] GUYS, GUYS, GUYS! [Gumball and Darwin stare at him angry] The skull guy, he's real, HE'S REAL!
[Sarcastically] Yeah, sure. The skull guy that I made up actually exists. Oh, don't tell me. He's seven feet tall, covered in tattoos, and he's about to burst into those very-
[Razor burst and breaking into the doors with his guitar growling looking at Gumball, Darwin and Clayton]
CClayton
[Determined] You know what time it is?
[Scared] Time to change my pants?
CClayton
No, it's TIME TO KICK SOME BUTT!
(Gumball dials the tech support hotline.)
RReceptionist
Hello, and thank you for calling our technical support.
Hi! I have a problem with--
RReceptionist
To book an appointment with one of our technicians, press one. To place an order-
DAGNABBIT, YOU STUPID ANSWERING MACHINE!! IF I WANTED TO SPEAK TO--
RReceptionist
Well, excuse you, sir. If you did this job all day, you, too, would end up talking like a machine.
I ran over Santa on Christmas Eve! I'm definitely on the naughty list now. Wait! Good deeds cancel bad ones.
[Using a GPS, Richard drives recklessly through private houses on the way to drop Gumball, Darwin and Anais at Elmore High]
Dad, why do we have to go to school?
But why would I need a job?
GGPS
Continue ahead. [the car drives forward on an unfinished expressway]
Well, why do I need money?
To buy the stuff that the TV makes us want. [the car continues forward and drops down a great height]
But why do I need to buy stuff?
Because if you didn't buy stuff, everyone would be out of a job and no one would have any money.
Wait, so I have to work for the rest of my life to pay for stuff that I don't want, just so that everyone else can suffer the same horrible fate as me?
Exactly. [the car crash-lands onto another expressway and continues on, causing traffic accidents]
You just live your life without thinking, don't you?
I believe you are underestimating me, son.
If you think I'm letting you send them out into danger, you got another thing coming!
Well, if you think I'm gonna let you mess with my family anymore, you got this chair coming!
[Nicole takes the chair and hits Granny Jojo but the chair bounces off]
Good luck trying to stop me, Nicole. I've safe-proofed this whole house.
[Nicole throws a flower pot at Granny Jojo but it bounces off again]
Everything breakable is now plastic.
[Nicole takes a lamp and hits Granny Jojo but it bounces off]
Everything else is rubber.
[Nicole takes a painting and hits Granny Jojo but the paper tears and goes through Granny Jojo]
Apart from that, which was paper. A good mother prevents accidents before they happen.
[Scene changes to a fire background with Nicole's eyes burning with anger]
[Nicole pounces on Granny Jojo and starts pulling her ear and uses her hand to slap her face]
[Scene changes back to Richard and the trio who are still squeezing out of the door, then Anais pops out and hits the car]
Anais': [Puts her finger on his lips] Hmmmm...
[Scene changes back to Nicole who is still slapping Granny Jojo until they hear the car's engine starting]
[Scene changes to the street as Nicole and Granny Jojo watch Richard drive off]
NOOOOOO! You've sent them to a highway of eternal doom in a chariot of pain and despair! MY BABIES! MY BABIES!!
Oh please, Richard is perfectly capable of driving to the store.
[Richard runs a red light, causing a major traffic accident]
[Shocked] I'll get the car.
