You're tiny and you're miniscule, irrelevant, a speck
On the dark side of that rock, you're just a measly little fleck
Your life may last a century on Earth or maybe quicker,
But, up here, 100 years is just a flash, a blip, a flicker!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
So, when you think you've got a problem and your life is full of doubt
Remember, in the scheme of things, your
Puny, little, tiny, weeny,
Meager, futile, worthless, teeny,
Boring, foolish, pointless, minimal,
Wretched, bleak, obsolete, abysmal
LIFE JUST DOES NOT COUNT!!
(Back on Earth, Gumball and Darwin watch the sun, in their perspective, distortedly hum to the song.)
What the--? What's up with that?
I don't know, but the joke's on them. By the time they finish their smug little song, the sun would've collapsed under its own mass and exploded, so, pbht!
[in the library, Gumball attempts to ruin Alan's social page on ElmorePlus unnoticed while Darwin watches beside him]
Right. What status update will ruin his life? Ohh, I know. [starts typing text out loud] "Oh my gosh, why are there so many drawn people in Elmore?!! Go back to your flat country and stop ruining our economy!" [hits send button; talks to Darwin] Nobody likes a 2D-ist.
[the status update immediately receives countless thumbs-down icons that the screen overwhelms Alan's social page. Alan returns while Gumball plays dumb]
Oh, Alan! So, did you help 'em?
AAlan
Everyone was okay, but I made them even more okay!
[Alan's face gets pummelled by multiple thumbs-down icons being launched from the computer]
AAlan
[floats up, traumatized] WHAT HAPPENED?!!
I just assassinated your social life. What are you gonna do about it?
[Alan snaps to a furious face as he floats menacingly near Gumball. But he kisses Gumball, and pulls his "saintly" face]
AAlan
Thank you. Now I get a chance to befriend them all again. [Gumball thunders angrily as Alan floats away]
I WILL BREAK YOU, MAN!!! NO-ONE'S THIS NICE!! NO-ONE!! BECAUSE IF THEY WERE, I'D HAVE TO ASK SOME VERY DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABOUT MYSELF!!
Alan: AAH! Can you please stop making that noise?!
What?
AAlan​​​​
Dragging your feet! It's grating!
Oh, but I don't understand. You mean this? [Squeaks floor]
Alan: [Yells] STOP IT, YOU JERK!
YES! Ha ha! I finally dragged you down to my level! I knew you could be broken! Oh, I feel so much better about myself. I gotta go tell Darwin!
[Gumball runs off, and Alan screams in rage. Then Alan calms down, smiles, and makes his saintly face again]
AAlan​​​​
[Whispering] Whatever makes you happy, my friend.
(Gumball puts up a chair to protect him and Darwin from the exploding balloons.)
Hang in there, buddy. We're almost there!
(Anais then bursts out of the shed, holding a 2-liter cola bottle.)
Not so fast, boys! (cowboy accent) I drop this unbranded mint into this here unbranded cola, it'll give me enough firepower to blast you through that darn fence!
(cowboy accent) What are you gonna do with all them cupcakes? There's one of you and there's two of us.
They're for my friends only. I don't want you there eating everything and weirding them out. Just give up, and that'll be the end of it. Otherwise--
Alright! We surrender... (normal voice) Oh, look! Your friends are here!
(gasps) Really?!
(Gumball and Darwin immediately gorge on the cupcakes, but they stop, twitching their eyes until their faces contort from the taste.)
These aren't cupcakes. They're lemons! And the icing is baking soda!
(The chemical reaction from the baking soda and lemon juice causes fizzy bubbles to burst from the boys' eyes and mouths.)
The real stuff is in the shed.
(Anais drops the mint into the cola and blasts the boys through the fence with the cola cannon.)
VNVideo Narrator
Watch Out, Little Teddy.
[Then a teddy bear is seen cooking]
VNVideo Narrator
Little Teddy is very excited, because it's cookie time. But, watch out, Little Teddy…
[Little Teddy burns his hands while attempting to bring out some cookies from an oven]
LTLittle Teddy
Ow! Ow!
VNVideo Narrator
BE CAREFUL AROUND OVENS!
[The video switches to Little Teddy looking out from a window, and to a tree with a bird]
VNVideo Narrator
Little Teddy has seen a bird. [Little Teddy waves as narrator speaks] Hello little bird!
BBird
Hello!
VNVideo Narrator
But, watch out, Little Teddy...
[Little Teddy falls out of the window, and hits the ground. The bird perches on Little Teddy's head and pecks his nose]
VNVideo Narrator
BE CAREFUL AROUND WINDOWS!
[Little Teddy is seen chasing a butterfly in a field]
VNVideo Narrator
Little Teddy is having fun in the backyard, with a butterfly. Butterflies are pretty. But, watch out, Little Teddy….
[After running a long distance, Little Teddy knocks himself over with a rake]
VNVideo Narrator
BE CAREFUL AROUND GARDEN TOOLS!
[The video transitions to Little Teddy walking to an old woman about to cross a road]
VNVideo Narrator
Little Teddy is helping a senior citizen. That's kind of you, Teddy. It's nice to be nice.
[Little Teddy and the old woman start crossing the road]
VNVideo Narrator
But, watch out, Little Teddy...
[Little Teddy puts his arm around the old woman's shoulder, which angers her. The old woman screams, and beats his head with a crowbar until a bump rises from his head]
VNVideo Narrator
BE CAREFUL AROUND STRANGERS!
[As the old woman leaves, Little Teddy is hit by a speeding car]
VNVideo Narrator
AND CARS!
[The scene flips over, and transitions to Little Teddy dancing inside a circle of singing children]
CChildren
[Singing] If you're going on adventures, or having lots of fun. Remember to be frightened, being safe is number one.
LTLittle Teddy
[Waving] Remember, kids: please take care, 'cause danger's lurking— [Little Teddy, along with the video becomes eerily distorted and slowed] everywhere.
[The camera zooms out from a TV in Miss Simian's classroom. Beside it, Mr. Small is screaming, frightened by the video. Gumball, Darwin, Sarah, Leslie, Masami, Molly, and Tobias, who were watching the video, are frozen with horrified expressions on their faces]
Mr. Small: Okay. Everyone, take the rest of the day off. I'm just gonna—
(Principal Brown gives Gumball detention (as Gumball's punishment) for accidentally doing wrong things)
(storms away from Gumball)
IIdaho
(storms off)
Finally, it's Saturday: check! Got my allowance: check! Affordable candy 'cause the stuff at the movies is a total rip-off: check! Blankets because they always go nuts with the air conditioning: check! Clippers in case someone with big hair sits in front of us: check! A red carpet to make us feel special: check! I'm ready to see the film and I'm spoiler-proof for the journey. Here we go!
[Darwin draws a watch onto his wrist. Seeing the time, he gasps before rushing to the room]
Wake up! We're gonna be late for school!
(sighs) I'll get up when the alarm goes off.
But you've already pressed the snooze button!
That was five minutes ago.
That was an hour ago! Snooze time goes faster than regular time.
(sighs) I just found the perfect position.
[Darwin pulls the cover off, revealing Gumball in a potentially bone-breaking position]
Dude, it looks like you fell from the seventh floor.
Come on, just another minute.
[carrying Gumball] No, we're already late! See?
[Outside, the bus drives away, causing the boys to panic]
Okay, all we need to do is set the clock back to "0", and everything will be fine. Spin it!
[Darwin spins the clock, sending the boys through time. They stop in a dystopian future]
Uh, dude, I think you spun it too far...
[An explosion occurs]
Let's go back a little.
[Gumball spins the clock again, this time sending them to space--the exact moment it was created via the Big Bang]
(silently, via subtitles): [That was a big bang!] (To Darwin) [Too far back?]
[Darwin nods. Gumball spins the clock again.]
We need to hide! He could be anywhere!
[Grabs the phone] Let's go to the bathroom, it's got a lock on the door!
[The duo run around the living room, stretching the phone's cord everywhere. Then both come rushing into the bathroom. Gumball hurriedly dials the police while Darwin closes and locks the door]
Elmore Police?
Yeah, help! There's someone in my house!
I see... Are you in the house right now?
Yes!
Then that someone is you! Case solved. You're welcome!
[The Doughnut Sheriff hangs up, and in a nearby crime statistics chart, he draws from the increasing line a line straight down to zero. Gumball dials again]
Elmore Police.
Listen, you don't understand si–
Now look kid, I alr– [Phone disconnects]
[Gumball anxiously waits on the other line, frightened]
What? What!?
[Mystically and nervously] Someone cut the phone line!
If you're all hiding so I'd get up, I would like to point out that technically I haven't left my bed, so you don't win! Fine! [Throws his mattress off his back] If everyone is really gone, then no one would mind if I did this.
[Gumball has a weird looking face and knocks over a lamp, the lamp hits the TV, that knocks over and hits a shelf, stuff on the top of the shelf like a vase, falls and then a vase bounces back up and hits the shelf back to where it was, the shelf knocks the TV back where it was, then the TV hits the lamp then hits Gumball, and then he falls]
[Looks around, rubbing his cheek] Aaaaaa- it hurts, [Making weird movements] Ahhhh- I think I fractured my nose and sprained an ear or something. Aa! I think I need very expensive medical help, unless someone gave me a magic kiss? [Thinks and extends his mouth to his cheek, giving himself a kiss] What is going on here? [Gasp] I made a terrible wish [Starts to tear up] and now my whole family have disappeared! [Grouchy face] Good.
(throws Gumball out of the locker room and on the ground.)
(pushes Leslie for inserting gum in and sabotaging Darwin's whistle) NOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
THE SOLO IS MINE, NOT DARWIN'S! HE STOLE MY SPOTLIGHT, AND FLOWERS NEED LIGHT TO GROW!
(hits Leslie by pushing him) Dude, you're a flower boy who plays a flute in a school band. You don't want this to get violent!
You were talking to someone who was a dancer since the year he was born in! (slaps Gumball and punches and kicks Gumball to give him a black eye)
What I meant (takes the Archie head off) (Gumball's black eye and swollen face are shown.) was violence is never the answer, dude. You're supposed to be happy for your friend's success. This isn't about Darwin being good at something, it's about you refusing to make the effort to better yourself, and you know what the definition of that kind of person is?
You!
Exactly.
No, I don't want that to happen!
So, why don't we just enjoy the success of our friend even if it means that we get left behind?
You're right!
Quick, he's about to play the solo!
MMan
He's terrible!
Rocky! We need to get to the mall so we can sell out and make a load of cash!
Oh, sure. No probs- [Starts to glitch out before he can finish his sentence]
[The bus starts moving but the glitching begins to infect the bus and everything it comes in contact with. The Wattersons scream as the bus glitches out of control but their screams are temporarily switched to lovely-sounding tweeting birds as the sound begins to cut in and out as well. The bus then glitches into the air before falling back down smoothly, phasing through the ground. The bus then hits Doughnut Sheriff and Mr. Robinson who were glitched as well]
Arrrgh!!!
ROAD HOoOoGGS!!!
[The bus continues to glitch and the Wattersons continue to scream as the bus begins to break down. The sound begins to drop in quality as well]
We need to get out of here!
[The family jumps out of the bus as it continues to disintergrate to nothing. The family then runs towards the mall]
We got to sign that contract before there is nothing left of Elmore!
[The environment then immediately switches from a barely 3D environment to a storyboard as the Wattersons are running through the Mall Parking lot]
[Muffled] We're... almost... there!
[Muffled] Are you sure? Cos' it doesn't look like we're moving.
[The panels then begin to speed up as the Wattersons are apparently moving faster than before]
[Muffled] AAARGH! 'Too faaast!!!
GDGumball, Darwin, Anais, Nicole and Richard
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!!
[Their speed boosts up, which allows them to break through the storyboard panel borders and tear through the entrance of the mall. After they crash through the door, the environment is reduced to a hand-drawn background and the Wattersons become sticky notes]
[Muffled] Where's Joyful Burger?!
[Muffled] It's that way! [Points in a direction]
[Muffled] Err... it's over there. [Sticks her thumb in the opposite direction]
[Nicole's arm is suddenly erased]
AAAAAAAHHH!!!! [Only for it to be drawn back pointing in the right direction] Oh. I meant that way.
[The Wattersons run into Joyful Burger, now crude post-it note drawings]
We'll do the commercial!
[In a computer-generated voice with Australian accent] Then hurry up before it's too late!
[The Wattersons, except Gumball, all sign the contract, causing their animation and the environment to revert back to normal, while Gumball remains a sticky note]
Quick, Gumball!
Come on, sign it!
[The camera cuts to Gumball, still a post-it note drawing. He grabs the pencil on the contract]
[Puts down pencil] Wait. Are we really going to become clichés of ourselves just to sell a few burgers? Isn't there a way to survive in this world without selling out? Not everything has a price! Some things are more precious than money! Like dignity! Freedom! Love! Sorry, Larry, but you could have all the money in the world and you still couldn't afford the Wattersons!
[at Elmore Junior High, Gumball and Darwin try to resolve Anais's violence issues]
Okay, first I want you to learn what it means to hurt someone.
I'm the one who— [Gumball angrily interrupts her]
NO ARGUING! You wanna use violence? Then first you need to understand how it makes people feel!
[confused] Wait, what?
Hit 'im.
Guys, you don't understand.
Do it! [Darwin grabs Anais' hand and forces her to slap Gumball. He acts dramatically] Oh, I feel pain! But also sorrow. Isn't there a better solution to our problem? [Darwin grabs Anais entirely and throws her on top of Gumball] Gaargh! The violence inflicted upon me has instilled a rage! That can only lead to more violence. [Gumball picks up Anais, and uses her like a baton to hit Darwin. Darwin moans dramatically]
As an innocent bystander I feel unjustly hurt. The violence has now become...a vicious circle!
[Again, they use her limp arms to slap each other. The action escalates into Anais becoming a small, involuntary chain-slapping tornado]
See what happens when you let yourself be an instrument of violence?! Everyone gets hurt!
You don't understand! I'm the one who's getting picked on! [Gumball grabs Anais by the cheeks to abruptly stop the spin]
Then forget everything I said.
[Gumball suddenly transforms into a Super Saiyan, including the art style of the referenced anime]
LET'S NAIL THIS GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Come on, man. We both know this is just posturing. [Gumball causally reverts back to normal]
Yeah, but I thought you might buy it if I went big. Let's just try to find an actual solution.
(The episode opens on a statue of a distinguished warrior)
NNarrator
In an age long forgotten, legend speaks of an unsung hero. Some call him the Couch Crusher; to others he's known simply as the Oncoming Wind. But, to a special few, he's known as--
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Amazing World of Gumball pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.