Donnie quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Donnie

Remember, it's not just physical strength that breaks the wood. It's also inner strength.

April

I got this.

Leo

Karai. I know you're here, come out. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.

Leo

We can help you- with this.

Leo

It doesn’t work. Donnie?!

Donnie

I told you, Leo. Karai is special. She's not a normal mutant.

Raph

It was all for nothing?

Leo

It doesn’t matter. You can come home with us, Karai. We'll take care of you, I promise.

No. Too dangerous. My mind is going...

Leo

Then...then why did you want us to find you?

Wanted...to say...goodbye to all of you.

Leo

No! Karai! We’ll figure out a way to help you, Karai. I promise.

Mikey

Hmm, I do believe this plutonium should react flawlessly with the sodium bicarbonates. What do you think, Professor Ice Cream Kitty? Perhaps we should add this hyperbole solution to Donnie's Retro-Mutagen.

Donnie

[sees Mikey] Mikey... HAVE YOU LOST YOUR SHELL?!?!?!

Mikey

[in a British accent] Pish-posh and tut-tut, my good man!

Mikey

Leatherhead!

Raph

Pigeon Pete?

Donnie

Dr. Rockwell?

Yes. The Kraang experimented on me, giving me psychic powers, and accidentally returning my vast intellect in the process.

Slash

Rockwell's the brains of team.

Donnie

Muckman's running on more than mutagen. Whatever garbage he's made up of directly affects our mutated DNA.

Mikey

Ugh, there's only one cure for Muckman fever. Crognard. [Splinter overhears it and, still mad at them, he confiscates the VCRs. Mikey kneels and groans in distraught. Donnie takes out his phone and the others watch as Joan reports the news.]

Raph

Give it up, Leo. It's been weeks since we last saw her. When she poisoned us!

Donnie

Yeah, Leo. If I can't find an antidote, we might have to let Karai go.

Leo

It's not that easy, Donnie. You should know.

Mikey

You're still hung up on April. Just a guess.

Leo

Sometimes you don't have a choice. You think about someone...a lot.

Mikey

Dudes, I'm never gonna have a crush on a girl! This Turtle is dedicated to one thing only: Ninja-ING!

Whoa! The leader, Leonardo, the inventor Donatello, the warrior Raphael, and the cute one Michelangelo. I finally found you- the Turtle warriors of legend. This is groggin' cold!

Raph

Us? Legends? What are you talking abut? No one even knows we exist.

Nobody knows...yet. But I come from the future, and you're like...wow. you guy are like so famous.

Donnie

Wait a second. You say you're from the future and we're important enough to be in history books?

Yes. You saved the world many times.

Donnie

Awesome! High three!

I was raised in Fukuoka but my grandfather is Chinese. I moved here to be closer to Yoshi. I've heard yokai are always hungry. That's why I made a meal all kapas love.

Leo

Kapa? What's a kapa?

Turtle yokai. And your favorite food is cucumber. At least that's what the legend says.

Mikey

Cucumber? Little know fact: Our favorite food is pizza. Hook a turtle up.

My grandmother told a story about a kapa who appeared as a young girl was fetching water. The kapa terrified her, but the girl always brought cucumbers with her to ward off yokai. The kapa was so thankful, it told of a great hurricane that would devastate her village. It saved her people.

Raph

That's right! And we wanna save you, Tang Shen.

Donnie

Which is why we kapa have come to talk. We also bring you dire news.

Leo

You can't leave Hamato Yoshi. He's a good man. Oroku Saki is evil.

No. Saki is a good man.

Donnie

If you choose Oroku Saki, the world itself could be at risk. Take it from us, the kapa brothers.

Yoshi is too dedicated to ninjtisu to raise a family.

Michelangelo

That's not true. Splinter loves little Miwa. She's so cute.

I don't who I will choose. I must do what's right for my daughter.

Raphael

Follow your heart, Shen. You know who the better man is.

Please. Let me get you some more cucumbers.

Donnie

What's wrong with him? Is he sick?

Raph

I'm starting to understand his backwards talk. His people, the Triceratons, need nitrogen to breathe.

Leo

And the part where he calls you Commander Zorg and does everything you say?

Raph

Well, we bonded over a mutual love of destruction.

Donnie

I hate to interrupt, but someone's been following us for the last half hour or so.

April

Weird. I don't sense anyone at all.

Donnie

See for yourself.

April

Did that just happen?

Leo

The Earth, Splinter, everyone- everything.

Donnie

Gone. Lost in an endless gravitational pull of singularity.

Mikey

Holy pepperoni.

The Fugitoid

Watching your world fall into the singularity of a back hole is rather distressing. Can I offer you some coco?

Mikey

Dude, who are you?

The Fugitoid

My name is Professor Zayton Honeycutt and you, my friends, are about to embark on a wondrous adventure.

Casey

This is so METAL!!!

Donnie

This energy is really screwing up my readings.

Casey

[shoves past Donnie] So fix it, genius. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.

Donnie

That's right, I am. Which clearly makes you the stupid one!

Mikey

Ha! That definitely makes Raph the angry one.

Raph

I'm clearly the handsome one. Here, check it out. I got something for you. [holds out his fist; Mikey hits Raph's fist with his own, only for him to smack his helmet] Ha! You're the gullible one.

Mikey

[shoves Raph] I'm tired of you picking on me! Ever since we were little, you've been giving me shell wedgies, wet willies, and reptile rug burns, and-

Leo

Mikey, Raph, enough! We're on a serious mission here. So stop it!

Fugitoid

Well, this isn't good. We're going around in circles.

Casey

[groans] We've been walking for miles, Donnie. That scanner's as useless as that gap in your teeth.

Donnie

Oh, let's not go back there, Casey. You know my gap is way more awesome than your gap.

Casey

My gap is way bigger than yours. You got a baby gap.

Mikey

Will you two cut it out? You're more annoying than Raph!

Raph

[furious] That's it!

Leo

Get off of him, man!

April

What are you doing? Professor, a little help?

Fugitoid

You must all stop! [holds up his hand] Don't make me smack you. You see this? This is my smacking hand. I'll use it!

Mikey

He's right, guys. What the heck is wrong with us?

Leo

Ho...

Raph

...ly...

Donnie

Chalupa!

Raph

The world is so flat, I can't even see my own butt! Donnie, explanation!?

Donnie

We're possibly in some kind of... alternate dimension.