Splinter quotes from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Splinter

[to Shredder] Oroku Saki, you were once my friend. I thought of you as my brother. 15 years ago, I was a different man. I had everything I could want - a loving wife and a beautiful daughter. And you, my loyal friend, jealousy consumed you. You sought that which was mine! You took everything that I love! Everything! And still you hunt me down! So I fight you now to end this!

Splinter

I do not want to say I was right, but... I was right.

Splinter

[after Raphael wins a sparring contest] Yame! You all did very well.

Raph

But I did better.

Splinter

This is about self-improvement, Raphael, it is not about winning and losing.

Raph

I know, sensei, but I won and they lost. [Splinter pinches a painful pressure point on his neck] Aah, aah, aah! But, what's really important is that we all did our best. GOOD JOB, EVERYONE!

Splinter

Heh, heh, heh.

Splinter

You were not fully prepared for what was up there. I trained you to fight as individuals, not as a team. And as your teacher, your father, the responsibility for that is mine. Perhaps in another year we can try again.

Donnie

A another year!? Has everybody forgotten that people were kidnapped!? They don't have a year! Sensei, we have to do something now! You weren't there, Sensei. You didn’t see the way that girl looked into my eyes. She was scared and she's counting on me- I mean us- to save her.

Splinter

Yes. You must save her.

Leo

I agree, Sensei, but in that fight we weren't actually a well-oiled machine.

Mikey

Like that robot with the brain thingy.

Raph

Give it a rest.

Leo

There's so much riding on this. What if something goes wrong?

Splinter

Failure is a possibility all leaders must face, Leonardo. It is something I had to face in Japan during my battle with my old enemy, the Shredder. Years ago, Oroku Saki, as Shredder was called then, had been my friend. But the love of a woman came between us. He could not accept it and his jealously turned outward in a vengeful attack. And although he could not defeat me that day, my world burned and crumbled around me, as the battle took the life of my beloved Tang Shen. And I lost my baby daughter, Miwa.

Leo

But that's my point, Sensei. You lost everything.

Splinter

I lost many things - my family, my home, my name. But I gained many things as well, like the 4 of you.

Leo

Don't worry. We can handle this. [Just then, Mikey runs by with a metal pot on his head, screaming. Raph is still chasing him with a wooden spoon.]

Raph

[angrily-ish] GET BACK HERE! [Leo and Splinter sigh.]

Splinter

[clearly not liking what he just heard] Not only did Raphael alert the Kraang, but you got caught... [glares at Raph] on video!

Raph

[defensively] Sensei, he was the angriest, nastiest guy you ever met!

Mikey

Except for you. [Raph slaps him] Ow!

Raph

You should've heard the insults this guy was throwing at us. They were so... insulting!

Splinter

[sarcastically; not buying this excuse] Oh, I did not realize he said mean things. Of course, you had no choice but to jeopardize your mission!

Mikey

[mockingly] Burn. [Raph grits his teeth]

Splinter

You are ninjas. You work in the shadows, in secret. This becomes difficult if there is proof of your existence in high definition!

Raph

[trying to talk his way out of it] Look, we know where this guy lives. All we need to do is find him and shake him until the tape pops out.

Donnie

Oh, there's no tape. Video phones use flash memory and-- [Raph growls like a bulldog in annoyance]

Splinter

Anger is self-destructive.

Raphael

[side commenting disrespectfully] I always thought it was... others-destructive.

Splinter

[sternly; fed up with Raph's attitude and disrespect] Raphael! Stand up.

Mikey

Somebody's in trouble~...

Raph

Who does Leo think he is? So what if I got a temper? I’m still the best fighter we’ve got. In fact, if anything, my anger makes me a better fighter. You understand me, don't you, Spike? Chew on your leaf if you understand me. [Spike chews on leaf] Yeah, I thought so.

Splinter

[suddenly walks in] I understand you too.

Raph

[scared out of his wits] Seriously, you gotta knock or something!

Splinter

Raphael, let me tell you a story.

Raph

[tiredly] Sensei, I'm not really in the mood for a story.

Splinter

Spike, chew on your leaf if you're in the mood for a story. [Spike chews on his leaf] Very well. When I was a young man, I fell in love with a woman.

Raph

[sarcastically; pretending to check the time] Oh, hey, is it that late already? [tries to leave]

Splinter

[firmly] Sit! [Raph sits down in defeat and he continues] Her name was Tang Shen, and I was not the only one who loved her. There was another man competing for her attention, Oroku Saki.

Raph

Shredder.

Splinter

One day, he insulted me in front of her. He called me many things. I felt I couldn't let those insults go unanswered. I lost my temper, and over time, our rivalry festered into hatred. Until Shredder sought to finish me. And I lost my beloved Tang Shen.

Raph

[lost for words; unsure of how to react] But... But it wasn't your fault. Shredder insulted you, you... You had no choice.

Splinter

[through gritted teeth] "No choice"? I could have chosen to ignore him, I could have chosen to let his words wash over me, like a river over stone. [shamefully] But I let him anger me, it was I who made his words into weapons. That's the choice I made. What choice will you make?

Splinter

Where did you learn that!?

Leo

Mikey learned it from his new friend.

Splinter

The man who taught him that kata is no friend! It comes from the Shredder.

Donnie

Shredder?

Leo

You mean Bradford is one of his students?

Splinter

He must be!

Leo

So Bradford's just pretending to be Mikey's friend to get to you!

Raph

Oh, man. Everything makes sense again. [then realizes] Mikey's in trouble!

Splinter

[in disbelief] How many times have I told you not to skateboard in the lair?!

Michelangelo

[missing the point] None, Sensei.

Splinter

[annoyed] I shouldn't have to tell you!

Leo

(As they get up) You're right, Sensei. We definitely should have known better—

Leo

(Disappointed) —and we deserve to be punished. Eh, some.

Splinter

(Sternly gets up in Leo's face while stroking his thin beard) And what do you think would be a fitting punishment?

Leo

(Nervous, looking at his brothers, who whistle innocently) Well, uh, we… we should clean up our mess? [Splinter folds his arms] And then.... think about what we did.

(Muttering quickly together) Yeah. Sounds about right. We were wrong. Wouldn't want to do too much. No worries.

Splinter

(Testing them) What about being grounded for a week?

Leo

(Hesitant) Oh, I'm not sure that's-

Mikey

(Quickly trying to escape it) I'm cool with the thinking.

Donnie

(Anxious) Really, that's not necessary.

Raph

(Dismissive) Maybe next time.

Splinter

(Angry) YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK!

Splinter

And where have you been?

Raph

Nowhere?

Splinter

How did you get so hurt?

Leo

Oh, that. Well, uh, we were...

Raph

Hit...

Donnie

By a...

Mikey

Bus?

Donnie

[whispers to Mikey] Hit by a bus?!

Mikey

Well, what was I supposed to say, meteor, cow, flying building?!

Mikey

Excuse me, Sensei, but ninjas never had to go up against guys in armor. [sees paintings, corrects himself] Oh, I mean ninjas always had to go up against guys in armor.

Raph

Nice save.

Leo

Sensei, what was their secret?

Splinter

They understood that you do not fight the armor, you fight the man inside.

Mikey

[Turtles stare at him who looks at them] Why are we all looking at each other?

Raphael

Look, Spike. Donnie got a new stick to break.

Don

With all due respect Sensei, I can't keep fighting alien technology with a six-foot staff. I was hoping to upgrade my weapon.

Splinter

Hm... a seven foot staff. Interesting.

Donnie

No, I meant using modern technology.

Splinter

Ah, a solar-powered staff.

Donnie

I'm serious, sensei.

Splinter

I know. And yes you may upgrade your weapon.

Donnie

That's totally unfair! You can't just--Did you just say yes?

Splinter

Ninjas have improved their arsenal for decades. We are masters of adaptation.

Splinter

April, it seems you have a rare gift - a sensitivity I have trained my entire life to develop. I would like to train you to be a kunoichi, a female ninja.

April

Wow. That's quite an honor. If I do this, does that mean I can kick everybody's butt?

Splinter

We do not believe in using our abilities that way.

April

Oh, sure. But I could, right?

Splinter

Yes. But it will the most difficult challenge you have ever faced. It will drain you physically, mentally and spiritually.

April

Can't be worse than high school.

Splinter

You were all very lucky.

Raph

I think we define that word differently, Sensei.

Mikey

He was just so fast.

Donnie

It was like he was everywhere at once.

Leo

You were right about us being overconfident, Sensei. There's just some things we're not ready for.

Splinter

Perhaps, but that no longer matters. It is clear now that the Shredder is a problem that will not go away. So prepare yourselves, my sons, because as of this moment... we are at war.

Donatello

[Panting, turns to Master Splinter] Sensei, can we rest for a sec?

Splinter

Rest? Hm. The Shredder will not rest... until you are all dead!