T.U.F.F. Puppy quotes

Dudley

KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!

Kitty

I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.

Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.

Chief

Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?

Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.

Chief

Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real.

That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull.

Wolf Spitzer

Wolf Spitzer here. Agent Puppy, did you destroy Argh-by's because you're a crazed Quacky the Duck fan and want to eliminate the competition?

Dudley

What? No! That's ridic--

Wolf Spitzer

There you have it. Proof positive that it's raining cats.

Snaptrap

[after Dudley passes out from hyperventilating too much] Boy, he really is an idiot. [he and Wolf Spitzer pose; end of episode]

Dudley

Oh, no! Snaptrap's licking people's wallets! Gotta stop him!

Dudley

Shut up and buy a car!

Oh, you are so… [stutters] found out, Agent Puppy!

Kitty

We knew you were lying all along, Dudley. So we thought we'd teach you a lesson.

Chief

Dr. Fineberg agreed to be an evil supervillain to help us out.

Dudley

[in Kitty's body after using Keswick's Brain Switcher to switch his brain with hers] (Yes!) It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me asleep on the floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. [calls Jack's number; badly imitating Kitty] Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.

Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?

Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat, because I'm a cat, and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. [laughs nervously] Wanna meet for lunch?

Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.

Uh… I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. [laughs nervously again]

Actually, we've never been there before. "Our Old Hangout" is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.

Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! [falls to the floor] Aah! I twisted my ankle! [Later shows up at Our Old Hangout restaurant where Jack is waiting] Hi, Jackie-poo! [accidentally trips on him while having trouble walking in Kitty's boots] Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. [giggles]

Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.

Well, you deserved to be in jail. [slaps Jack in the face]

[points to his convertible car outside] Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ-5 Convertible.

Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want nothing to do with you! Oh, and to do this! [splashes a glass of water in Jack's face] And this! [squirts ketchup in his face] And maybe this too! [pushes a stick of butter on his forehead] And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again!

Just so you know, after my free lunch, free dessert, and free to-go order, I never wanna see you again!

Oh, I beg you, Kitty. Spend the day with me. [takes out his credit card] I'll take you anywhere you wish to go.

Anywhere?

Kitty

[in Dudley's body] Dudley's gotta be here. He eats every meal at Mr. Wong's all-you-can-eat buffet.

Dudley Puppy! I told you to never come back! You paid $6.95 and ate $10,000 worth of food!

I did?

And what you didn't eat, you stuffed in your shirt for later!

Oh! Eww!

You're gonna pay, one way or another!

[on the phone] I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.

Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?

Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. [Kitty groans angrily at him] Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.

What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you!

Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I love him, Kitty!

Snaptrap

[in Kitty's body after switching brains with him] Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!

Dudley

Hi-YAH! [punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out] Take that, Snaptrap! [to Kitty] Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.

[comes out of the top secret computer room] The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.

Kitty

[imitating Snaptrap while in his body] Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?

[tosses the flash drive in "Snaptrap's" hands] You've got your list. Now, give me my money.

Kitty

No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. [picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice] I'm Kitty Katswell!

Dudley Puppy, you crossed the Wong guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong.

Kitty

You know, this is a secret agency. We really should lock the door.

Dudley

[in Jack's body; imitating Jack's voice] Here's my credit card, Mr. Wong. It should cover all the food Dudley ate. And all the food he's planning to eat in the future.

[takes the credit card; kindly] Thank you, wise and handsome stranger. [leaves the building]

Snaptrap

[sitting in his chair, wearing his bunny slippers and robe; bummed] Woe is me. [sighs with depression]

Oh, are you depressed, boss?

Snaptrap

Well, yes. Also, I've changed my name to "Woe."

What's wrong, Snaptrap?

Snaptrap

[shouting angrily] IT'S "WOE", LARRY!

Dudley, what have you done?!

Get him!