Survivor Series quotes

You got a promise, Kiel Center, from the D-O-Double-G and Mr. B. A-Double-Poisonous-Serpents. Buttbangers, go get you a WWF Merchandise Catalog and see if you can't order a couple of IC belts.

Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Championship is coveted in this industry, there's no doubt about that. The biggest names in the game have worn the World Wrestling Federation Title. It will be bestowed, it will be won by a new man here tonight, King. Either Mankind — obviously the chosen one, a corporate chosen one by Vince McMahon — or the "people's champion", the Rock.

There's the Sharpshooter.

Sharpshooter!

McMahon said, "ring the bell!" Wait a minute.

What?

Wait a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a submission, the winner... and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: The Rock!

WHAT?!?!

What the hell? They're in it all along, all three of them! They screwed us all... McMahon and the family, The Rock, they screwed us all!!!

Vince, just like last Sunday on Heat, when the Rock said he'd rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss yours. Well tonight, it's time for each and every single piece of trailer park trash to kiss the Rock's, if you smell what the Rock is cookin'!

You do not boo an Olympic Gold Medalist. You do not boo an Olympic Gold Medalist! I'm the best in the world. I came here for you. You do not boo me.

Vince McMahon in the ring! Now Vince has got the title belt.

OH! [Big Show chokeslams Billy Gunn]

Vince McMahon has got the title belt in his hand, King.

Look out! Wha... [Vince swings at Triple H with the belt, but misses] Uh-oh.

Oh, going for Triple H's head...

[Vince swings again, and this time hits Triple H] NO!

AND HE GOT IT! McMAHON JUST KNOCKED TRIPLE H DOWN WITH THE BELT! [Big Show picks up Triple H and chokeslams him] THE BIG SHOW WITH A CHOKESLAM!

[Big Show covers him. Vince, who was scheduled to be the referee for this match, counts and the audience counts along with him] No! I can't believe it! [Vince counts three]

THE BIG SHOW! McMAHON HAS SCREWED HELMSLEY!

[as he says this, Vince hands over the title to the Big Show] The winner of this bout, and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: The Big Show!

Vince McMahon has screwed Triple H, and it is Show Time! It's Show Time! Triple H has lost the WWF Title to the Big Show!

Austin, you're gonna regret this, don't do it!

I'm gonna do it you pissed me off!

Austin, all right enough is enough, don't do it! Austin you're gonna regret it I know.

Ehheehh, give me a hell yeah you son of a bitch!

[feels car tipping to the side] Austin don't, oh my god, Austin don't, don't, do [as car drops to the pavement] HOLY SHIT!!!

The Game's in that car!! Austin just dropped the Game from that machine!!

Why doesn't Hebner call for the bell?!

Because the Rock hasn't tapped!

Well, that never stopped him before at Survivor Series, did it?!

Austin thrown right into the face of Earl Hebner. Down goes the referee. The Rock measuring Austin! [The Rock sets Austin up for the Rock Bottom, but Austin counters] Looking for the Rock Bottom!

[Austin hits the Stone Cold Stunner on the Rock] STUNNER! OH MY GOD, IT'S OVER! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! IT'S FINALLY OVER! The legacy of the World Wrestling Federation dies here! [Austin covers, but Hebner is still down] COVER!!!!!

But there's no referee!

DAMN IT!

Austin, he... he... he knocked his own referee out.

It was unintentional!

But then he... he inadvertently ran over Earl Hebner. [as he says this, Kurt Angle, who had moments ago been eliminated, reenters] The Rock starting to stir, but wait... wait a minute.

[Angle grabs Austin's WWF title] Here comes Kurt. Thank God.

That son of a... [Angle hits Austin with the title belt] OH! KURT ANGLE JUST... HE JUST NAILED AUSTIN! [The Rock delivers the Rock Bottom to Austin] THE ROCK BOTTOM! THE ROCK BOTTOM! [Hebner slowly makes it to the Rock pinning Austin and counts slowly. The crowd counts along with him] THE COUNT! THE COUNT! [Hebner counts three. The crowd and the WWF locker room erupt] IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! THE WWF HAS WON IT! [In shock, Heyman drops his headset]

[cut to the Alliance's locker room where Stephanie McMahon is screaming in anguish, and soon after back to the WWF locker room where their celebration continues] The winner of the fall: The Rock! And thus, the surviving organization: The World Wrestling Federation!

[Speaking to Heyman] How do you feel about that? You're out of work! You're out of work again! You didn't win, Paul! Your man lost! Kurt Angle just screwed you guys!

[overlap on Alliance footage; crying] Oh my God, what have I done?!?!? [cue back to the WWF locker room's celebration]

The Rock with the Rock Bottom, and Kurt Angle drilled Austin with the WWF title belt! How ironic was that?!? The WWF wins! The Alliance dies at the Survivor Series! The weight of the WWF world, resting on the shoulders of The Rock and a bizarre, shocking assist, by Kurt Angle, has cost the Alliance. The Rock said he was gonna do it and he did it, and the billion-dollar Princess [referring to a kneeling Stephanie] can't believe it. Shane and Stephanie are out of business! Paul Heyman is out of business, and the Alliance is going belly-up.

Gimme a fucking mic!

And the Game going back; he's going to try it again.

Oh-ho.

One more Pedigree! He's going to stop Michaels!

[But Michaels back body drops out of the way] Look out, Game! Look out!

And Michaels back body dropped the Game! [Michaels gets into Superkick position] He came out of it!

[Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music and the crowd erupts] Oh, he GOT him!

SWEET CHIN MUSIC! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! THE COVER! [Earl Hebner counts and the crowd counts along with him: "One"] THE COVER! ["Two"] HE GOT HIM! ["Three"; the crowd erupts again]

NO! WHAT?!?

SHAWN MICHAELS! SHAWN MICHAELS IS THE WORLD CHAMPION!

What?!? WHAT did you say?

[over Jerry talking] The winner of this bout, and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: HBK, Shawn Michaels!

THEY'RE ON THEIR FEET AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN! MY GOD, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

They're on their feet all over the world right now, JR! Nobody believes this!

SHAWN MICHAELS IS THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!

ACK! Look at this! [Confetti begins to drop from the rafters]

MY GOD, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

This may be the world's biggest celebration!

I know it's been said before, BUT IN THE WWE, DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?!?

Ladies and gentlemen, if DX remain on the same page tonight, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that John Cena will lose the WWE Championship.

Well, the question is, which one of these great superstars will win, be victorious here tonight? I mean, this is...you guys will have to agree with this, I mean, is it gonna be Shawn or is it gonna be Triple H?

Well, the last time the WWE title changed hands in this city was 2000 and that match featured, the Game, Triple H.

Sweet Chin Music!

What in the world?!

Ohhhh!

Shawn Michaels...

I told you, King, I told you!

What the-

I told you!

Look at the look on Cena's face!

Ha-ha-ha!

What?!

And there, ladies and gentlemen, is vintage Shawn Michaels!

I love it!

Shawn Michaels has made a career about being in the center of the storm, and he did it, again!

What?!

Let's go, here we go now! Come on!

...what?! I can't - did that just happen?!

Well, of course, coming out to his nerd music...

That's "Ride of the Valkyries", that's a great song.

Yeah, from Apocalypse Now, and every time that Daniel Bryan comes out, that's what it is out here. Nonetheless, Daniel Bryan would know nothing about the way Maryse would dress, that wonderful Versace dress and Prada jacket. How gorgeous does Maryse look here tonight at Survivor Series?

Oh, she's always very, very beautiful...as most...

Arm candy?

...gold diggers are.

Well, Daniel Bryan said he was honored...

Wait a minute, how can you say Maryse is a gold digger?

Let me ask you, if you think—Matt, you can probably vouch for this. You said you would love to take her shopping; you used to be a teacher—what if you still made a teacher's salary? You think she would still be around...

He still does!

I would take out a loan and mortgage my house.

Trust me, Maryse would not be hanging around with somebody that is a regular joe out the street.

Michael, let me shift to you. Daniel Bryan said he was honored to have Hall-of-Famer Jim Ross call his match this past year on "Old School" Raw.

How did that work out?

Sorry to interrupt, because we all know how much I respect Daniel Bryan, but I have something to say.

Oh, you can't turn the lights out on the Miz, he needs a spotlight!

[as the lights come back on] That's better. I am a proud citizen of Cleveland, Ohio. [The Miami crowd boos] And it's fitting that I'm here in Miami because, truth be told, the Miami Heat are a lot like the Nexus—they're both arrogant, despised by millions, overrated and, in a word, the Nexus and the Miami both are hopelessly mediocre. I think LeBron is...is like the Wade Barrett of the NBA, not that he's a leader, because we all know LeBron is nothing more than Dwyane Wade's little sidekick. No, the reason LeBron is like Barrett, because they both feel that they are entitled to a championship. Well, there is one important difference—Wade Barrett might become champion tonight, whereas LeBron will never be champion! LeBron has a commercial where he asks, what should he do? What should you do? What you should do, LeBron. What should you do? You should go back to Cleveland and apologize to each and every one of us for what you did, you traitor!

The "Let's Go, Heat!" chants. Of course, the Miami Heat play in this arena.

As for you, Barrett, I don't care what happens to Cena. All you and Randy Orton need to know is I am tired of carrying this briefcase. So right now, it's not a matter of if, it's a simple question of when, because I'm the Miz, you are all witnesses to the fact that I'M...AWESOME!!!

For somebody that's so closely associated with NXT, you seem to have no respect for their former stars.

I like everybody on NXT.

Daniel Bryan and Kaval?

No, but I like my commentary.