“1998” quotes from Survivor Series

Tonight, the mystery opponent...to square off against Mankind. This legend, in the ranks of sports-entertainment, made his WWF debut in 1990. Over the course of the next six years, this charismatic superstar boasted a won-loss record that set new standards here in the WWF. Unfortunately, seeking more opposition of his own caliber, this natural athlete jumped ship to the "dubya-C-dubya" (WCW)...

Woah! Who is it?

...and after suffering a massive shoulder injury, this cornerstone of the World Wrestling Federation has been sidelined for the past two years. With his career on the line, he fought back with resilience, dreaming of this triumphant return to the ring here tonight. Therefore, without further ado, allow me to introduce to you. Currently, the coach of the Pasadena Chargers. The man...the myth...Duane Gill.

Who?

What...is he....?

Duane Gill? Wait a minute I know him, that's Duane Gill!

Well I'm not...he's...he's...he's got a video. McMahon has had a video prepared to Duane Gill, who has spent more time on the canvas than Rembrandt.

What? This is Mankind's mystery opponent? Handpicked by Mr. Vince McMahon?

Well, I tell you what...when McMahon told Mankind that... [pyro goes off] OH! I don't think Duane's quite used to getting pyro.

He's got pyro and it scared him!

I think that, I was informed just a second ago by our producers, that the Pasadena Chargers...is an elementary school football team. It's no as as if came...

Well don't hold that against him.

It's not as as if he came from the NFL or something.

Why don't you just listen to me a little more, JR? I've been doing this a few years, you know. I know what I'm talking about.

I watched you when I was a kid; I learned something every day.

You got a promise, Kiel Center, from the D-O-Double-G and Mr. B. A-Double-Poisonous-Serpents. Buttbangers, go get you a WWF Merchandise Catalog and see if you can't order a couple of IC belts.

Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Championship is coveted in this industry, there's no doubt about that. The biggest names in the game have worn the World Wrestling Federation Title. It will be bestowed, it will be won by a new man here tonight, King. Either Mankind — obviously the chosen one, a corporate chosen one by Vince McMahon — or the "people's champion", the Rock.

There's the Sharpshooter.

Sharpshooter!

McMahon said, "ring the bell!" Wait a minute.

What?

Wait a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a submission, the winner... and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: The Rock!

WHAT?!?!

What the hell? They're in it all along, all three of them! They screwed us all... McMahon and the family, The Rock, they screwed us all!!!

Vince, just like last Sunday on Heat, when the Rock said he'd rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss yours. Well tonight, it's time for each and every single piece of trailer park trash to kiss the Rock's, if you smell what the Rock is cookin'!