Dean Winchester quotes from Supernatural

Bela

You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.

Dean

(after thinking hard) Don't objectify me.

Sam

That vampire's still out there, Dean.

Dean

First things first.

Sam

Gordon.

Dean

About that, when we find him, or if he finds us.

Sam

Yeah?

Dean

Well I'm just saying, he's not leaving us a whole lot of options.

Sam

Yeah, I know. We've gotta kill him.

Dean

Really? Just like that? I thought you would have been like, "No, we can't, he's a human, it's wrong."

Sam

No I'm done. I mean Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead. Or 'til he is.

Sam

You know what, man? I'm sick and tired of your old stupid kamikaze trick.

Dean

Whoa, whoa, kamikaze? I'm more like a ninja.

Sam

That's not funny.

Dean

It's a little funny.

Sam

No, it's not.

Dean

What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I'm going to die? You know what, I've got one. [picks up notepad] Let's see, what rhymes with, "Shut up, Sam"?

Sam

Dude. [knocks the notepad out of Dean's hand] Drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punchline. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.

Dean

I'm not!

Sam

You're lying. And you may as well drop it cause I can see right through you.

Dean

You've got no idea what you're talking about.

Sam

Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked.

Dean

And how do you know that?

Sam

Because I know you!

Dean

Really?

Sam

Yeah, because I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean! Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So, yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this... is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just...

Dean

What?

Sam

It's just, I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... just 'cause.

Dean

So was I right? Was it the serial killing chimney-sweep?

Sam

Yep. It's uh, it's actually Dick Van Dyke.

Dean

Who?

Sam

Mary Poppins.

Dean

Who's that?

Sam

Oh, come on. Never mind.

Sam

I mean, I'm just saying, that there's some version of the anti-Claus in every culture. You've got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter, whatever you want to call it there's all sorts of lore.

Dean

Saying what?

Sam

Saying back in the day, Santa' brother went rogue and now he shows up around Christmas-time, but instead of bringing presents he punishes the wicked.

Dean

By hauling their asses up chimneys.

Sam

For starters, yeah.

Dean

So this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother?

Dean

What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases.

Sam

Whose childhood are you talking about?

Dean

Oh, come on, Sam.

Sam

No, just... no.

Dean

All right, Grinch.

Dean

Christmas is Jesus' birthday.

Sam

No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the Winter Solstice Festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. But I mean the Yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship.

Dean

How do you know that? What're you gonna tell me next? The Easter Bunny's Jewish?

This might pinch a bit, dear. [cuts Dean's arm]

Dean

Ah! You bitch!

Oh, my goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Oh, do you know what I say when I feel like swearing? "Fudge."

Dean

I'll try and remember that.

Dean

Aw, you fudgin' touch me again, I'll FUDGIN' KILL YA!

Better!

Dean

I hate witches. They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere.

Sam

Pretty much.

Dean

It's creepy. Hell, it's downright unsanitary!

Dean

They killed the nut job. Should we, uh, thank them or what?

Sam

They're working black magic, too, Dean. They need to be stopped.

Dean

Stopped like, stopped? They're human, Sam.

Sam

They're murderers.

Dean

Burn, witch, burn.

Sam

It's not so simple. We're not, we're not just hunting anymore. We're at war.

Dean

Are you feeling okay?

Sam

[sighs] Why are you always asking me that?

Dean

'Cause you're taking advice from a demon, for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people. You know, it used to eat you up inside.

Sam

Yeah, and what has that gotten me?

Dean

Nothing, but it's just what you're supposed to do, okay? We're supposed to drive in the friggin' car, and friggin' argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap.

Sam

Wait, so you're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?

Dean

No, I'm not mad, I'm-I'm... I'm worried, Sam. I'm worried because you're not acting like yourself.

Sam

Yeah you're right, I'm not. I don't have a choice?

Dean

What is that supposed to mean?

Sam

Look, Dean, you're leaving, right? And I got to stay here in this crap-hole of a world... alone. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I gotta change.

Dean

Change into what?

Sam

Into you. I gotta be more like you.

Dean

So let me get this straight. You were human once. You died, you went to Hell, and you became a...

Yeah.

Dean

How long ago?

Back when the plague was big.

Dean

So all of them? What, every damn demon, they were all human once?

Every one I've ever met.

Dean

Well they sure don't act like it.

Most of them have forgotten what it means, or even that they were. That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is. Forgetting what you are.

The answer is, "Yes," by the way.

Dean

Sorry?

Yes, same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell-bound soul, every one, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah. Yeah, you can count on it.

Dean

There's no way of saving me from the Pit, is there?

[sighs] No.

Dean

There you are. What are you doing?

Sam

Having a drink.

Dean

It's two in the afternoon. Drinking whiskey?

Sam

I drink whiskey all the time.

Dean

No, you don't.