Dean Winchester quotes from Supernatural

Dean

(reading from trophy) 1995.

Sam

No way. That's my Division Championship soccer trophy! I can't believe he kept this.

Dean

Yeah, it's probably the closest you ever came to being a boy. Oh, wow! It’s my first sawed-off. I made it myself. Sixth grade.

Sam

What am I even supposed to do, Dean?

Dean

Nothing, nothing! Come here. I don't want you doing... anything! I want you to sit right here, and don't move! Okay? Don't turn on the light, don't turn off the light, don't even scratch your nose!

Sam

[mouthing the words] Scratch my nose? [checks to see that Dean has left, then scratches his nose]

Dean

So you're only out for yourself, huh? It's all about number one?

Bela

Being a hunter is so much more noble? A bunch of obsessed, revenge-driven sociopaths trying to save a world that can't be saved?

Dean

Well, aren't you a glass half-full?

Bela

We're all going to Hell, Dean. Might as well enjoy the ride.

Bela

[training a gun on Sam and Dean] Put the foot down, honey!

Dean

No. You're not gonna shoot anybody. See, I happen to be able to read people. Okay, you're a thief, fine, but you're not...[Bela shoots Sam] Son of a--!

Bela

Back off, tiger. Back off. You make one more move, and I'll pull the trigger. You've got the luck, Dean. You, I can't hit. But your brother? [aims the gun at him again] Him, I can't miss.

Dean

What the hell is wrong with you?! You can't just go around shooting people like that!

Bela

Relax, it's just a shoulder hit! I can aim!

Dean

Oh! Forgot, we're up $46,000! I almost forgot about the.... [his pockets are empty] ....scratch tickets.

Bela

[looking at the winning tickets] (chuckle)

Dean

SON OF A BITCH!!!

Here's what I'm going to do. Normally I charge four hundred a night. Why don't we call it an even deuce, and get the hell out of here?

Dean

What do I look like?

What do I look like? Cheapskate.

Casey

[laughs] Did I just see you strike out with a prostitute? How's that work?

Dean

[trying an exorcism from memory] Spiritus emundi, undalara, persona tote... [trails off, lost]

Casey

Nice try, but I think you just ordered a pizza. Guess you should have paid more attention in Latin class.

Dean

I don't know what you're smiling about, you're not going anywhere.

Casey

And, apparently, neither are you.

Dean

Yeah, but I got somebody coming for me and, uh, he did pay attention in class.

Casey

Oh, right - Sam. Everyone say's he's the brains of the outfit.

Dean

Everyone?

Casey

Sure. You Winchester boys are famous. Not Lohan famous, but you know.

Casey

Hey, I didn't pull any triggers.

Dean

Yeah? You did something.

Casey

You want to know what I did -- what I really did? I had lunch.

Dean

Lunch?

Casey

Me and Trotter. He had a cheeseburger, I had a salad, and I just pointed out the money that could be made with a few businesses that cater to harmless vice. So Trotter built it, and, man, did they come. Supposedly God-fearing folk, waist-deep in booze, sex, gambling. I barely lifted a finger.

Dean

That's it?

Casey

You don't get it. All you've got to do is nudge humans in the right direction. Some whiskey here, a hooker there, and they'll walk right into Hell with big, fat smiles on their faces. Your kind is corrupt, Dean. Weak. Our will's stronger. That's why we'll win.

Dean

And that's how it ends?

Casey

No. That's how it begins.

Sam

Well, thinking about fairy tales.

Dean

Oh, that's... That's nice. You think about fairy tales often?

Sam

No, Dean, I'm talking about the murders. A guy and a girl hiking through the woods, an old lady tries to eat them. That's Hansel and Gretel.

Sam

Then we've got the three brothers, arguing over how to build houses, attacked by the Big, Bad Wolf.

Dean

The Three Little Pigs.

Sam

Yeah.

Dean

Actually, those guys were a little chubby. Oh wait, I thought all those things ended with, uh, everyone living happily ever after.

Sam

No, no, not the originals. See, the Grimm Brothers stuff was kind of like the.. the folklore of its day, full of sex, violence, cannibalism. Now, it got sanitized over the years and turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories.

Dean

So, you think the murders are what, a reenactment? That's a little crazy.

Sam

Crazy as what? Every day of our lives?

Dean

Touché.

Sam

[staring at frog on the road] Yeah, you're right, that's completely normal.

Dean

All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing, there's no way I'm kissing a damned frog.

Sam

[gesturing to pumpkin on porch] Hey, check that out.

Dean

Yeah? It's close to Halloween.

Sam

Remember Cinderella? The pumpkin that turns into a coach and the mice that become horses?

Dean

Dude, could you be more gay? Don't answer that.

Sam

I think it's Snow White.

Dean

Snow White? Ah, I saw that movie. Or, the porn version anyways. There was this wicked Stepmother. [hoots] She was wicked.

Dean

You know what he said. Some good advice.

Sam

Is that what you want me to do, Dean? Just let you go?

Dean

What a crazy old broad.

Sam

Why, because she believes in ghosts?

Dean

Ha ha, look at you. Sticking up for your girlfriend, you cougar hound.

Sam

Bite me.

Dean

Hey, not if she bites you first.

Dean

Can I shoot her?

Sam

Not in public.

Dean

Hey, Bela, how'd you get like this? Huh? What, your daddy not give you enough hugs or something?

Bela

I don't know. Your daddy give you enough? Don't you dare look down your nose at me. You're no better than I am.

Dean

We help people.

Bela

[scoffs] Come on! You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You're a stone's throw from being a serial killer. [Dean looks over to Sam] Whereas I, on the other hand, I get paid to do a job, and I do it. So you tell me, which is healthier?

Sam

Bela, why don't you just leave? We've got work to do.

Bela

Yeah. You're "o" for two. Bang up job so far.