Charlie Bradbury quotes from Supernatural

Charlie

If you can't score at a reproductive rights function, then you simply cannot score.

Charlie

Wow. That is some meta madness. Thanks for saving the world and stuff. [turns to Sam] Sorry you have zero luck with the ladies.

Charlie

One last time, okay? (reading from the Hobbit) 'In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on, or to eat. It was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.'

Charlie

I took down a teenage vampire and a ghost. ...Which sounds like a Y.A. novel when you say it out loud.

Charlie

(after learning that several things from the Oz books are wrong) Stop ruining my childhood!

Charlie

(to the Witch) Now heel! (stabs the Witch in the head with the heel of the Ruby Slippers, killing her)

Charlie

(to Sam and Dean after killing the Witch) Ding Dong, Bitches!

Charlie

I'm exhausted, and I'm-I'm bleeding, and I'm in a phone booth. A phone booth, I didn't know these things existed outside of Bill & Ted's...

Charlie

Dick Roman gave me an assignment

Harry

Is that good?

Charlie

It means the Eye of Sauron is on me.

Harry

Well, if you need anything I'll be back in the Shire.

How about a nice game of chess?

Charlie

Seriously? Wargames?

Dean

Charlie are you singing?

Charlie

I sing when I'm nervous; don't judge me!

Dean

Judgement free zone.

Sam

Who's your favorite Harry Potter character?

Charlie

Hermione.

Sam

Hermione. Well did Hermione run when Sirius Black was in trouble? Or when Voldemort attacked Hogwarts?

Dean

Seriously?

Sam

Shut up.

Charlie

No of course not.

Sam

What did she do?

Charlie

She kicked ass! She practically saves Harry in every book. And then she ends up with the wrong...

Sam

Stay on track. She kicked ass, right? So what are you going to do?

Charlie

I'm gonna kick it in the ass.

Sam

[chuckles] Good girl.

Dean

Oh, you go, Dumble-dork.

Dean

And you’re gonna flirt your way past.

Charlie

I can't. He's not my type.

Dean

You're gonna have to play through that.

Charlie

As in.. he's not a girl.

Dean

Oh..oh.. Pretend he has boobs.

Charlie

Worse.

Dean

All tattoos are sexy.

Charlie

Mine is princess Leia in a slave bikini straddling a 20-sided die. [Dean slowly looks over to Sam and doesn't say anything] I was drunk. It was Comic-con.

Dean

We've all been there.. Okay, I'm going to walk you through this.

Charlie

Okay.

Dean

Let's start with a smile. Relax, Charlie, you just got home and Scarlett Johansson is waiting for you.

Can I help you, miss?

Charlie

Hey...Bill. Charlie from IT.

Oh, burning the midnight oil, huh?

Charlie

Just like you. I mean, you're not at the gym. What do you...work out with all of your free time?

I try to get to the gym at least 3 days a week. Trying to get back to my fightin' weight.

Dean

[to Charlie] It shows, you look amazing.

Charlie

It shows, you look amazing.

Dean

[to Sam] This never happened.

Dean

[to Charlie] You ever do anything else with your free time? Like take a girl out for a drink? [Sam laughs]

Charlie

You ever do anything with your free time? Like take a girl out for a drink?

Dean

[to Sam] Stop laughing, Sammy.

Charlie

Stop laughing Sammy [realizes]...Um, you don't know that bar, 'Stop laughing Sammy'. [Sam tries to hold back a laugh] That place is bringing sexy back. Which is easy because they kept the receipt...

Dean

Stop talking, Charlie.

Charlie

Stop talking Charlie...right.

Charlie

I feel dirty.

Dean

You and me both, sister.