A character in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Played by Bradley Whitford
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip · 84 quotes
Most-quoted character in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: in 31 of its 84 quotes
Most scenes with: Jordan McDeere (13), Matt Albie (10), Jack Rudolph (3)
DannyDid you read Martha O'Dell's column on Tuesday?
Yes.
DannyDo you agree that it's terrible that she sourced an anonymous web-posting to support her point?
I liked the piece.
DannyNever disagree with me.
It made me sick.
DannyIt took a lot of convincing, but Suzanne's agreed to be your assistant.
Yeah?
If you'll take me.
I'll take the hell out of you.
Is there a way you'd like me to dress?
Sure, but I have to wake up for school now.
Don't let the nurse give me the shot! [Danny re-enters, having gone to fetch the nurse]
You're/I'm Pregnant.
[In a doctor's waiting room, Danny to Jordan from a magazine titled Expectant.]
DannyIf you were over 35, then what we gotta do is stick a needle about half a foot into your stomach, and get some fluid from your pre-natal girth.
Why are you here?
DannyMorale.
I really don't need help.
DannyNot now, but you will soon, 'cause this says you gonna have to make a journey of 1200 miles to bury your eggs in the warm mud.
Danny....
DannyWait, that can't be you.
(snickering) No.
DannyIt's an Alaskan King Crab that does that.
[In the examining room, Danny snipes about the father of Jordan's baby.]
This is the time for a lecture?
DannyNo, that was about twelve weeks ago. By the way, did you and the last honest man on the planet get loaded on Jägermeister and forgot that there's like five hundred different kinds of birth control?
Have you told anyone?
Just my assistant, Kevin. That's it.
And... Mr. Tripp?
I had to tell him.
DannyShe wanted to.
I was semi-conscious. I had to make sure he wasn't gonna force a B-12 injection on me.
You've just described the beginning of every great love story.
[Stuck on the roof with Danny, Jordan can't understand why he's so upset about Harriet's premature "funny voice" promo.]
It's not the end of the world!
DannyNo, it's not. But it's a continuation of the one-sheet world.
What's a one-sheet world?
DannyYou know, a movie poster, a one-sheet. "I think we'll do the Green Lantern -- I can see the one-sheet now. Don't worry that we don't have a story -- we're gonna make all our money before word-of-mouth can kill us, anyway." We elect Presidents the same way. "He's got a big name, he'll raise money, he'll get the nomination! We'll teach him how to be President later!"
You've never been rejected by a woman before?
DannyNot this many times by the same woman in one night.
(on the phone with Danny) Hi, this is Jordan McDeere. I'm the President of NBS west coast entertainment.
DannyYes ma'am.
I'm concerned that not enough of your cameras are aimed at her chest.
DannyWell, I got all four of them working. But this is just dress. If you want I can bring in some IMAX equipment tonight.
This is what you like, huh?
DannyMe? Uh...no, and I'll tell you why. Because she's TOO sexy.
My hormones are like a Los Alamos experiment right now.
DannyWhat does that mean?
Get the cameras off her chest!!
[Jordan shows Danny her "practice" Real Care Baby.]
It just told me I'd stuffed it in a Prada bag!
DannyThe real baby's gonna do that, too.
Yeah, but now I know not to... you know...
DannyStuff the baby in a bag?
Yeah!
DannyYou knew that before!
Now I can practice comforting.
DannyYou turned it off with a remote.
. . .
DannyI know you're nervous, and... God understands that. So he made the first year an on-ramp. Okay? You're not up to full speed, you're just merging with other traffic.
You know how many times I've busted my car merging with other traffic?
DannyAlright, you don't... drive... the baby. Ever.
[Danny is horrified at the results of Cal and Tom's test of a prop guillotine with the practice baby.]
They're supposed to be indestructible.
DannyYeah, they are, unless you drop an 80-pound hydraulic axe on their head.
. . .
Danny... it's Jordan's, and she bet me that I couldn't keep it alive, and I was doing fine until Sacco and Vanzetti decided to CHOP THE BABY'S HEAD OFF!
(Danny has just learned that Matt has been taking pills to get high)
DannyWhere are they?
(Matt surrenders a bottle of pills)
DannyWhat the hell are these?
Flintstones Vitamins.
DannyThese are Flintstones Vitamins.
Yeah. I like the Bam-Bams. You got a problem with that?
15 minutes goes by without me hearing from you, I'm driving over there with a police escort.
DannyWhere're you getting a police escort from?
I will commit a crime and lead them on a high speed chase if I have to; I am not kidding around!
You're engaged?
DannyYeah
And there's a baby?
DannyYeah
Because like an hour ago none of this was true.
DannyYeah, things are moving fast tonight.
DannyWhat are you doing?
Cheering you up with a little Holly Hunter.
DannyYeah?
It's what I'm here for.
DannyHow is it no one's ever hit you in the head with a potato?
I duck and weave, baby.
Matt AlbieMatthew Perry (actor) · 30 quotes
Harriet HayesSarah Paulson · 24 quotes
Jordan McDeereAmanda Peet · 18 quotes
Jack RudolphSteven Weber · 12 quotes
Cal ShanleyTimothy Busfield · 8 quotes
Tom JeterNathan Corddry · 6 quotes
Simon StilesD. L. Hughley · 5 quotes
MarthaChristine Lahti · 4 quotes
Ron OswaldCarlos Jacott · 3 quotes
SuzanneMerritt Wever · 3 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.