Simon Stiles quotes from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Harriet

God loves me, and hates the both of you.

Simon

Prove it.

Simon

Okay, seriously, I'm scared out of my mind.

Tom

Yeah. That was strange.

Harriet

Alright. Moving on...

Harriet

You know, where I grew up, if this had happened, there'd be a town meeting, and everybody'd be there. And the guy would have to sit and listen while Reverend Tillinghouse gave a sermon on honesty and character.

Simon

That's exactly what would happen where I grew up, except we'd've driven by the guy's house and shot him with a GAT-9.

Harriet

See, there's more that unites us than divides us.

Tom

I'm gonna show them around the studio, and when we say goodnight, I swear to God, my father's gonna ask me if I need any money, and it is going to take everything I've got not to point out to him I could buy his house four times and turn it into my ping-pong room.

Simon

I would resist that urge.

Harriet

People knock on closed doors in America! Were the two of you raised on a farm?!

Tom

I was.

Simon

I was raised over a heroin dealership.

Harriet

That's no excuse for bad manners.

Jack

Any chance you've calmed down?

Simon

I'm completely calm.

Jack

You'll read a statement of apology?

Simon

I said I was calm, Jack. I didn't say my spine had become detached from my brain.

Jack

I think your brain has become detached from your brain.